Satan's Most wanted Person

The Losing Gain

Akosua

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I was one to shy away from bible teachings for obvious reasons best known to me but today, I felt extremely wallowed, swallowed  and drowned in all my reasons and my thirst for answers, I had to call my friend Emefa to come pick me up so we'd go together. To her utmost shock. She almost made me deaf with her screams of excitement over the phone.

So when Pastor took us through the bible teachings based on the scripture from the book of Philippians 1:21

"For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

To be honest, I found the latter part of the text rather absurd. I had to ask him.

'Wasn't it also written or perhaps I might've heard it somewhere that Jesus died so we might live? What then would we gain from our death?'

Just like the bible, the adages concerning the journey of life and how to succeed it, seems conflicted and contradictory at some point. Looks like there's some double standards there but all I needed was understanding. Also, I had asked the Pastor that question out of pain, anguish, desperation in fact I needed answers.

I seem to be at a dying point here and I needed life so badly. Why would the scriptures tell me that for me to die is gain? My little knowledge about Jesus's death gave me a buttress to my question with another counterquestion.

He could then sense the heat of confusion from my face and gave me a smile

Please I don't need your smiles at this moment of my life. Give me an answer.

"I can see today happens to be your first time joining us right?" He questions

"Yes and I came here voluntary, on my own accord"

"Don't ever think you came here on your own my dear, the Holy Spirit brought you here"

And who in heaven's name is that Holy Spirit?

"He has been with you  all this while my dear" he added.

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Have you ever noticed that in our quest to gain more we somehow end up losing ourselves in the process without knowing or perhaps we're drawn into so much oblivion in life that we fail to notice it? Our essence of living is being lost on us and you try to process all these so-called meaningful adages in your mind to make you feel right about things yet you end up feeling confused.

Some of these adages are:
'When you walk alone you can get there faster but when you walk in twos, you can go farther in life and yet you will have another adage that says 'Heaven helps those who help themselves', 'if you can't do it by yourself, no one will do it for you' and so on. The irony is not lost on me. It is as though you need people in your journey of life to reach your destination yet, you don't have to need people to ensure you succeed, all at the same time.

I wasn't poor neither was I rich but if you place me in both categories, I will astutely fall way below the radar so I hope you get what I'm trying to insinuate here

Poverty has smiled so widely - with its pearly brownish teeth- at me remotely the moment my father fell from 'grace to grass' as you may call it. Funny enough, poverty has a way of making you think that having great ambitions is vaguely demonic even though it envelopes you in a web of discontent and ingratitude. The aptitude of its (poverty) simplicity and complacency seems decently stupid.

Therefore, in our quest to change certain unpleasant recurring events in our personal lives, family, fate, trying to stop, changing the inevitable or breaking that cycle in our backgrounds, we usually don't look at it from the heroic point of view but rather from the burdensome trajectories we've decided to impose on our own selves.

There's also an inevitable exit to it all that we humans tend to dread so much, the exit called 'death'. It's utterly a huge lie for someone to admit to themselves that they're not scared to die. Those who have encounter a near-death experience/accident or come face-to-face with death will vividly express how dangerously-fearful it looks. This is why you'd actually mourn or feel sorry for the demise of someone you know, love or even despise with all your heart. We also see a praises and good description is given to the dead at funerals- even if they were known to be evil. It's only 'inhumane or animalistic' not to feel empathy for someone who loses their life.

Likewise in a resolve to get humans in touch with their humanity, feel humble or make them see the reality of their mortality, you'll hear most preachers encouraging their congregation to pay a visit to the mortuary or attend the funerals of a lost soul.

In our current dispensation, which is the era where we are faced with fears of  an invisible deadly virus known as the covid or corona virus that has taken lot of lives and is still killing a lot... You'd be amaze at how some preachers have likened it to the anti-Christ and the end time which may be true. Some churches have their congregation taking in all manner of concoctions in the name of spiritual directions against covid19, seeing it as more of a spiritual battle than a physical one. My question is, why preach against something that will bring the end to the world and virtually take you to heaven after the rapture? The answer boils down to what I was implying earlier, the fear of death and uncertainty of heaven.

So I ask another question; why do we tend to get so dread this natural inevitable figure called death when it's also part of life's journey? Then I realize that, we humans feel so entitled to exist and be remembered so much so that, coming to terms with the total termination/damnation of that entitlement, is beyond our control coupled with the fact of its uncertainty-inevitability, is something we can't just simply accept.

Just like the way I cannot accept all these seven years of burdens and struggles.

If the Holy Spirit was truly with me then what has been His responsibility in my life all this while?

Why does He want me to die before I gain....
And what at all am I going to gain?