My Boyfriend's Girlfriend

seventeen

I stayed at Tessa's house for another hour or so, and as soon as we walked back into her room, all her friends got quiet. I knew my lips were swollen and flushed, and Tessa had a sly grin stuck on her face.

Her friends resumed their conversation, but I couldn't focus on anything they were saying. A part of me was in shock, but the other part of me could not wait to kiss her again. I sat down on the end of her bed, and felt the mattress dip as she sat beside me. I wanted to reach out and grab her hand, her pull was so intoxicating. I turned my head to look at her, and she was watching me curiously.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked quietly.

Was it cliche of me to say I was thinking about her? "You."

She smiled at me, and her fingers grazed the top of my wrist and trailed down my fingers so quickly I thought I'd imagined it. I was disappointed when she didn't keep her hand there, when her delicate fingers didn't wrap around my own, and her palm didn't rest against the top of my hand.

I was in a daze, thinking about the way she kissed me, the close proximity of our bodies, and how she was everything I'd never thought I would have ever wanted. I was terrified, but she calmed me. I had no idea what I was going to tell anyone, or if I even needed to. I wondered what my parents would think, if they'd make it an issue. My daze was coming to a halt as I worried about my friends, the few I had, and what they would say. What would Danny think?

In a way, I was grateful for Danny's fuck up, but I was so afraid of what he could do if he found out. He had a lot of power within the school, and his dad was even more terrifying. I could lose my Sunday school opportunity, and my music lessons.

"Hey." Tessa put her hand on my arm, making me forget how to breathe. "We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" She could sense my worry, and I tried to slow my racing heart. I didn't need to think about any of that just yet, it had only been ten minutes and I was already spiraling.

"Yeah, I'd like that." I said. "Would you want to get coffee or something in the afternoon?"

"It's a date." She grinned, and took her hand off my forearm as the timer on Rox's phone went off. A date? My heart raced at the idea of going out with Tessa, for real.

"Your hair is going to look so dope." Rox said, jumping up and grabbing ahold of Tessa's shoulders. She carefully unwrapped the foil and pulled it off, revealing a fuchsia strip in her curls. Mallory grabbed a bottle of water from the vanity, and came over to spritz her hair.

"I can't wait to see what it looks like tomorrow." I said, not missing the unsubtle glance my way from her friends, the grins they suppressed. "I'm going to head out, I have to be up early for Sunday school." I grabbed my discarded purse from her floor and zipped my windbreaker up a little more.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Text me when you get home." Tessa said, while Rox pushed her towards the door that I assumed was a bathroom. 

"I will." I said, unable to hide my disappointment in her goodbye. We'd just made out in her backyard, and I was leaving like any other friend. I grabbed the doorknob and walked out the bedroom door when I was sure she wasn't going to come after me. I closed the door behind me and let out a frustrated sigh. I stood against the wall for a moment, taking everything from the last hour in. I'd fallen out of love with Danny, kissed Tessa, and probably disappointed God and my parents. I laughed quietly, more of a snort than anything, and realized I was going to have to think about a lot of things.

"Hey, Abby!" Tessa's voice, loud and electrified, came from the door as she threw it open to burst out into the hall, looking ready to make a run for the front door. Her eyes fluttered restlessly, searching, and suddenly widening when they landed on me just inches from her. "Oh, hi." She stopped in her tracks, shocked to find me standing outside her door. Her hair was wet, they'd rinsed the dye out, and a little bit of light pink water had dripped down onto her shirt. She turned quickly, barely taking her eyes off me as she quietly pulled the bedroom door to.