My Boyfriend's Girlfriend

twenty one

Halloween.

My favorite day of the year since I could form real, cognitive thoughts. There was nothing like being a kid and dressing up in a costume to go trick-or-treating with your best friends, or curl up with your same friends as a teenager and marathon every witchy movie known to man. Even though I wouldn't be doing either of those things today, I was just ready for it to be here.

"It's cold as balls out here."

Stacy and I were camped in the same place we'd been in since we got to the party five minutes ago, standing in the damp grass waiting on one of the guys to light the brush pile for a bonfire. There were three of them huddled around a large pile of newspaper and kindle, trying to start what would be a decent sized fire in half an hour or so.

"I told you to wear tights." I laughed, my teeth chattering slightly. The sun had gone down over an hour ago, and I was desperate to get my hands on a drink to warm up my body. Stacy must've had the same thought, because she was already eyeballing the front door of the house that had been sacrificed for the weekend by all-too-trusting parents.

"Yeah, fuck off." Stacy muttered and waved her hand dismissively at me. She pulled her arms closer over her chest, trying to seal in the last bit of warmth she could. I smirked at her when she shivered again, and she shook her head. "Nope. We need a drink, let's go." She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the house. I smiled warmly at her, wanting her to understand how grateful I was that she was my best friend. She hadn't acted weird around me once since I'd told her about kissing Tessa; holding my hand, like she'd always done in groups of people, was one thing I'd have been hurt by if she'd stopped. She knew I got anxious in crowds, even if the faces were familiar, and she knew how to keep me calm.

I wondered if I'd do the same had the roles been reversed, and it chewed at me to think I'd treat her any differently. Knowing who I thought I was just less than a month ago, would I have dropped her hand or not let her help me get ready? I thought about how weird changing with the team had been that entire week after Tessa kissed me, how I'd let myself get so worked up over it. Or, how I suddenly found myself noticing the way girls talked or moved when they were around me, paying close attention to detail. Had I always done that and was just now picking up on it, or was it something new?

"What are you spiraling about?"

Stacy dropped my hand and snapped her fingers near my ear, and I whipped my head up, jolted from my spinning mind. I was going insane, she'd always been my best friend. "Nothing, sorry. Just spaced for a second." I shook my head, trying to brush off my anxiety.

"Hey." Stacy stopped walking just after we stepped in the door to the house and turned around to face me. She grabbed both my hands in hers and squeezed tightly once. "I know you're worried about tonight, but just remember what Danny has done to you. To both of you."

"I know, I shouldn't be so anxious about it, I'm sorry." I said softly. Stacy smiled at me and dropped my hands, to wrap her arms around me instead.

"Don't be sorry for having anxiety, Abby." Stacy held me tightly, and I wished I had the courage to tell her what was really on my mind. She'd been there for me through every weird moment of my life, I would do the same for her.

"Okay, let's get drinks." I said, pulling back from her. I needed to loosen up and forget about it, I had more important things to worry about tonight. "I need a seltzer in my system before Tessa gets here."

"Okay, but first we need a shot."

One shot and half a mango White Claw later, I'd parked myself on a couch in the living room with some of the girls from the squad, while Stacy was making a run for the bathroom. They were deeply invested in a game of Cards Against Humanity, and I was playing along while keeping an eye on the front door for Tessa. I'd sent her my pinned location almost forty minutes ago, and I was getting antsy with her possibly showing up any minute.