A Wilted Red Rose (Hawks x Reader)

My Fears, My Lies

Upon settling into Hawks' bed alone one night, you absorbed the surroundings of his room. Like the rest of his house, no furnishings decorated the room aside from bits of ear piercings on the dresser and hoodies hanging messily from the open closet. You couldn't help but feel dispirited from your friend's overwhelmingly busy schedule that he couldn't even find the time or energy to make his house feel like a home.

Man, empathy sucked.

With a sigh, you rolled over in the direction of his nightstand, where a vibrantly vermillion color caught the corner of your eye. A handmade picture frame of the two of you together adorned the otherwise desolate side table, directly next to where he slept... which was more than likely not often, but still. Your heart soared at the sight, being happy to make it the last thing you saw before drifting to sleep.

For normal people, the methods of waking up in the morning were plentiful, maybe even peaceful. Some woke to the sound of an alarm, others to the gentle coos of the morning doves. How you had learned to envy them. Instead, you had the luxury of being awoken by the grating sensations of feathers assaulting your face. A pesky feather tickling at you roused you to consciousness, and you groggily swiped at it while flipping the pillow over your head to escape its merciless attack. The door swung open moments after.

"Rise and shine! Heh, sorry, I need something in here and I didn't wanna scare you. Figured I'd send a feather in as a warning."

"Do you really need something this early?"

"It's noon, dove."

"Well excuse me, it's just that some people aren't wired by store-bought coffee every day."

"Yeah, maybe 'cause some people have things to do and dreams to achieve," he quipped, his eyes shut with an obnoxiously sarcastic thumbs-up, ending with an annoyed pillow thrown at his face.

In a lot of ways, things remained the same for you. Hawks was gone most of the time, leaving you by yourself. While home alone you had nothing to do but to check your one social media account Hawks had insisted to make for you, with the only page you even bothered to follow being his own platform. He had just uploaded a new video within the hour – a short clip of him voicing over some popular song, one with a steady beat that his flow nailing every quick verse. It all ended with him and his signature 'heyooo!' and dumbfounded but amused you said to yourself out loud, shaking your head, "The things this guy does on his breaks."

At least he was finding ways to keep his spirits up. Lucky him.

Other than that one time you and Hawks were watching something dumb on TV, he smacked your shoulder just a tad too hard to get your attention at some funny scene, his cackling lips stuffed to the brim with snacks. Other than that, you knew he'd never intentionally hurt you. And yet, he may have unintentionally been doing so, because unbeknownst to him, watching him fly to and from his hero work, sharing scarce snippets of his life on patrol online, it was enthralling to see him like that. And yet, the more you watched that famous star you called a friend, the more envious you became. Envious of him having the choice to leave whenever he pleased.

What am I even thinking? Do I actually want to go out? That dumb bird brain's rubbing off on me.

The realization was a slow process – so slow in fact that you convinced yourself to let these feelings of jealously fly under your radar. Who cared if he was able to come and go as he pleased? That he had the option to go out for frozen chicken or ice cream, rather than relying on someone else to grab it for him...

Life was wonderful living with Hawks. Only after a while, you became strangely unsettled about it. Hawks had started to take notice of your shift in demeanor, too. It was as if the boisterous hero's obnoxious need to be out and about was starting to rub off on you, bringing out confidence you didn't realize you had. He began to catch sight of the way you stared longingly out the window, as if you wanted to leave for a change, but was afraid and unable because of the threats. He felt equally responsible and terrible for freeing you from your troubled environment, only to lock you back in another cage.