Life Is Just A Bowl Of Cherries

Apologetically

Apologetically - a·pol·o·get·i·cal·ly - /əˌpäləˈjediklē/

1. in a manner that expresses or shows regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure

Odessa was chatting with Chelsea in the common area when Alec walked into the room. He took a look at her and debated something within his mind before he sat down irregularly in the chair adjacent to her. He sat with his back facing her and opened the book he held in his hands. Odessa tried to get a glimpse of the title of the book but she was unsuccessful. She continued to stare at him. It had been a few days since her girls night with Jane and Chelsea and she was conflicted. Should she just go and talk to him and get it over with, or should she just wait? Experience told her to wait, but impatience told her to go. It took her a while to make up her mind, but in the end, she decided to wait. The biggest influence on her decision was her want to improve. She didn't want the same thing to happen again. She didn't want to get her arm ripped off again. She didn't want to see the disappointment reflecting in Huilen's and Nahuel's eyes again. She didn't want Aro to spit in her face and punish her. She didn't want to wallow in a cell while simultaneously losing some of her sanity. But most of all, she didn't want Alec to be angry with her again, she didn't want him to fear for her safety again, she didn't want to feel the guilt she felt after actually thinking about her actions again, and she didn't want to fight with Alec again.

Once she deliberated that, she decided to talk with Alec. She wanted to share how she felt, and she wanted to make up with her mate. She sniffed the air and caught a faint whiff of his scent. She followed it throughout the castle until it became strong and fresh. She took a deep breath and talked herself into doing it.

You can do it. You can do it. You can do it. You can. . . . .

She peaked around the corner and stilled as she laid eyes on Alec talking to Marcus. He finished his conversation and began walking her way. She made eye contact with him, and she saw him visibly perk up, but she chickened out and quickly turned around. She saw Jane walking and ran to her side. Jane startled and questioned her, but once Jane turned around and saw her brother walking their way, she understood what was going on. She rolled her eyes and led Odessa to her room. Once the door closed, and once Odessa was calmly braiding her hair, she addressed Odessa.

"I won't continue to be an out for you as you try to avoid my brother," Jane said casually as Odessa played with her hair and braided two French braids into her hair. Odessa's hands froze mid braid and a sheepish smile overtook her face. She finished braiding Jane's hair and held up a handheld mirror so Jane could observe the new hairdo before she addressed Jane's comment.

"I do not know how to talk to him," Odessa confessed.

"My brother isn't hard to please. He knows what he wants and doesn't want, and he wants you. I'm sure he wants you to speak to him, too," Jane told her as she ran her hands down her braids, admiring her reflection. "I quite like this hairstyle. Perhaps I'll style it like this for now on."

"I know he does, but I am nervous because of how I treated him. It might be awkward between the two of us," Odessa mumbled.

"Why does it matter if it's awkward?" Jane inquired. "Both of you want to talk to each other and clear the air, so do it." Jane huffed in frustration. "This is why I'm not looking forward to meeting my mate. The last thing I need is a complicated relationship."

"Wonderful rant," Odessa said dryly.

"My point," Jane emphasized, "is that awkwardness shouldn't stand in your way to happiness. You said it yourself that you love him, right?"

"Yes, I do love him."

"Then go talk to him already! You have no idea how many nights he's waited for you to fall asleep just so he could sneak into your room and get a glimpse of your peaceful face."