What's happening to me?? (COMPLETED)

𝐈 𝐝𝗼𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝗼, 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝗼𝗼

(𝐓𝐖: 𝐒𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞)
(𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐭'𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝗼𝐤𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐰𝗼𝐧'𝐭 𝗺𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝗺𝐮𝐜𝐡.)

Depression is a mental illness and it's not something you can cure on your own. You need to seek help and get the tools you need in order to stay alive. Depression is wanting/knowing you need to do something but not having enough motivation to get it done and beating yourself up about it later. It's having a really good day and feeling so happy to wanting to kill yourself the next minute while nothing horrible even took place. It's your brain feeding you all these lies that seem like the truth and you start to believe them. The thoughts getting so dark and making you feel so lonely and unworthy that you feel like being dead is the only way the pain will stop and that's what happened to Bey that night.

𝖲𝗁𝖾'𝗌 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄. 𝖲𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝗈𝖾𝗌𝗇'𝗍 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎. 𝖸𝗈𝗎'𝗋𝖾 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗍𝗁𝗒 𝖾𝗇𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝗍𝗈 𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖾. 𝖸𝗈𝗎'𝗋𝖾 𝗎𝗇𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾. 𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺 𝖻𝗎𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗇. 𝖲𝗁𝖾'𝗌 𝗀𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋. 𝖸𝗈𝗎'𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗈 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝗍𝗈 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗅 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁. 𝖭𝗈 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎. 𝖭𝗈 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍'𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗒 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝗆 𝗅𝖾𝖿𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎.  

"STOPPP ITTT." -Bey yells

But it doesn't stop.

𝖸𝗈𝗎'𝗋𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝖿𝖿 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝖽. 𝖸𝗈𝗎'𝗋𝖾 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖺 𝗐𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝗉𝖺𝖼𝖾. 𝖪𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿. 𝖭𝗈 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎. 𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝖻𝗅𝖾𝗆𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝗅𝗏𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗀𝗈𝗇𝖾.

"OH GOD WHY WON'T IT STOPP!!" -Bey

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL!!!" -Bey
𝖸𝗈𝗎'𝗅𝗅 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝖾. 𝖳𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗂𝗅𝗅𝗌 𝗈𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖾𝗋. 𝖦𝗈 𝖺𝗁𝖾𝖺𝖽 𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆. 𝖦𝖾𝗍 𝖺 𝗄𝗇𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖻𝗅𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗈𝗎𝗍. 𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝖺𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖿𝗈𝗋?

Bey gets up slowly walking over to the dresser and grabbed the pills.

𝖳𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗈 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖽𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍.

Bey stares at her complexion in the mirror.

𝖸𝗈𝗎'𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗈 𝖿𝗎𝖼𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗉𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗍𝗂𝖼.

Bey goes down the steps gets a big glass of water and the sharpest knife she could find she went into her bedroom and took all the pills swallowing them all at once then started to carelessly cut her arm while she seen the blood slowly appearing on the knife. Before she could  go any deeper she passed out gasping for air barely being able to breathe.

Nicki enters the house worriedly calling out for beyonce with no answer back. She finally gets to the bedroom and seen something that she will think about for the rest of her life.