Dissolving

Chapter 39 - Sanctuary

It is so quiet out here, it's almost deafening.

I never before realized just how peaceful this neighborhood is. The houses here are spaced really nicely, and most of the backyards are quite impressive. It is one of the nicer areas of our town. Not even fifteen minutes away from where we live, but it has clearly a wealthier feel to it.

Pulling the random hoodie I grabbed when running out of the house tighter around my shoulders – I think it is one of Aidan's, but I am not sure – I shuffle around to get more comfortable. I have no idea how long I have been out here, but it must at least have been an hour, if not more. My butt is starting to get numb from sitting on the wooden floor, staying pretty much immobile.

It is still light outside, seeing as it is early July and summer days are long around here. I am glad about that as I don't like being outside in the dark all by myself. I am tempted to turn on my phone to check the time or maybe even to let somebody know where I am, but I am too much of a coward.

If my brothers finished arguing, they must have noticed by now that I am not in the house. Which means that they will have blown up my phone with messages demanding to know where I am. I consider taking a bet out against myself regarding the number of missed calls I am going to find on it.

Maybe I should have a bad conscience for running away yet again.

But – technically – I don't believe that this can be considered running away. More like, getting away for a bit to clear my head.

Not having my own bedroom for almost a whole week must have taken its toll on me. I love the guys, I really do, but being around them 24/7 is exhausting, to say the least, even without any additional excitement.

However, I have not exactly been very successful yet with the whole "clearing my head" thing, so far. My mind is an absolute mess with confusing thoughts running wild inside my brain. I keep replaying the snippets of my brothers' heated conversation earlier and even after a hundred times going in circles it has not produced many, if any, useful results.

I still have no idea why Jordan freaked out like he did about what happened at the gas station with the creepy guy.

Neither have I figured out who the "he" is, that they have so mysteriously referred to in their argument.

Or who they want to protect us from.

Let alone why they need to protect us.

There is only one thing that has become very clear: they are lying to us about a lot of things.

Earlier, at the house, it was the first time that I got proper, robust evidence and confirmation that our older siblings are actively keeping information from us. Jordan very audibly claimed that he is worried about us younger kids asking questions and that they'd be hard pressed to find excuses for any of their decisions and rules.

Also, his suggestion that they might need to keep us locked up in order to protect us from whoever that mystery person – or is it mystery persons? – is, is another thing that I cannot get out of my head.

Are they the reason why my brothers have been so adamant all my life to not let me stay home alone, not to mention allow me to go anywhere by myself?

What did Jordan mean when he said that "he" better be targeting them and not me?

Why did Sam say that whoever "they" are don't know about me?

Just pondering all this, I feel another headache coming on. Trying to figure out what it all means, literally dissecting every word, is overwhelming and exhausting. Also, I cannot deny that I am very worried. This whole day has put me on edge.