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𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐚
my eyes couldn't help but travel all over his body. i took my time taking in what he was wearing, a plain black shirt with jeans..his arms looked so rough and muscular in his shirt, it made me almost want to interrupt his little family moment just to touch them- to touch him.
on cue , he looked away from his father and caught my stare. a smirk slowly appeared on his face as i couldn't help but smile back. he told me to wait for him by the stands so he could "deal with me accordingly without any interruptions" and i didn't object to the idea. i wanted him to deal with me.
i stood there patiently but my mind couldn't help but think of my parents..more specifically papi..i could still his hand print on my cheek from when he caught me hanging out with fez.
i felt like a caged bird. i wasn't allowed to think like a teenager with raging hormones like the rest. i was taught to act like a proper lady. i had to work, i didn't have the opportunity to express my personality. my parents made my personality.
of course manny had it somewhat easy..they didn't have expectations for her yet. me? i had to represent my family no matter what i did. i took on all of their shit for manny but sometimes.. i just wanted to fly away. and that's what i did.
i left the restaurant and walked to fez's house . we sat on the porch and talked. with rue no where in site.. i knew how it looked but still- i continued to sit there, with my head on his shoulder.
i didn't think my actions throughly and i realized that very quickly as papis car drove past his house but slammed on the brakes once he saw me sitting there...with a boy.
i remember feeling my heart stop. my body stood up on command, i walked towards him but i could only take 3 steps before my head went to the side.
"your mother is in shambles thinking you were kidnapped but i find you out here with a boy! what were you thinking desdemona?!!" i remember his voice igniting the fear and shame inside me.
"papi..i'm 16. i just wanted to be a normal teenager and hang out with my frie-" "friend? friend?! no boy is a friend?! we didn't raise you to rebel against us when we are fighting everyday against the system to support you and manuella?! we are not going to be disrespected like this!" his accent was so thick back then.. he only accustomed to learning a second language for the restaurant..for steady income for us. for a better life for us.
"get in the car." "papi-" "do you dare to keep talking back to your father?" the look in his eyes gave me the push i needed to quickly walk to the car and get in.
fez keep his head down, not wishing to look at me or papi who stood there staring at him for a few seconds before taking his time getting back in the car.
i remember the car ride back to the restaurant being so silent, you could hear a pin drop.
the night ended with mamá finding out what happened and me having to wash my tongue out with soap for talking back to my father.
the forbidden memories made me wonder what papi would think..what he would do-
my phone vibrated in my hand making reality set back in. i probably looked out of it just standing here, staring into oblivion. my attention focused on nate straight away but his attention was on his flip phone as my phone vibrated again.
my phone screen lit up brightly in my face, my eyes scanning the texts as i felt my body temperature instantly rise.
