Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐚
i remained silent, staring blankly at nothing in particular as ci pulled into my driveway.
maybe i need to learn self control..or maybe i don't need to be around ci as much. do i really need to be in something with anyone when i have my little sister to take care of which i fucking suck at- i need..i don't fucking know what i need.
her fingers reached up & turned the radio down, my hands massaging my forehead to try to relieve my headache.
i unbuckled my seatbelt and turned around, pulling my bag from the back seat with a quickness. i made sure my phone was in my bag before i unlocked the door and got out.
i struggled getting out my keys while speed walking to the front door. i was three steps away when ci got infront of me, "you couldn't even say bye. that's how much you wanted to get away from me."
my eyes stared up at her confused expression, i shook my head at her comment. "ci, im- we're going through too much. i have priorities- ive been at your house, living in this dream while manny could be doing god knows what. i'm supposed to be there for her, be her mother, be her father, be her role model because she only has me. you still have sasha to deal with and say what you want but feelings can't just go away that quick-"
"but you can't tell me how i'm supposed to feel about something desi. i understand that you have to look after manny and although i think everyone agrees when i say you're doing amazing at it, i know there's more that you would want to do. and you're right- there are feelings for sasha still there..but there are also feelings for you there as well.." her fingers intertwining with mine, pulling me closer to her.
she leaned down, her forehead touching mine, " i think i just need.." she started but her mind went somewhere else and i was not there..but i know who was.
i yanked my hand out her grasp, putting it on her chest to give me space from her. "what you need is a clear mind and closure." i walked around her, putting my key in and unlocking the door.
"ill just see you at the carnival." before she could change my mind, I closed the door and locked it.
im doing the right thing..but i feel like i just made my life harder.
