THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

CHAPTER SIXTEEN - REMINISCING

Lila POV

I am staring at my daughter who's busy eating her banana split. She's very fond of this sweet dessert, making me look back at the past where Blake usually complained how he cheated his diet plan for eating his favorite dessert.

I guess no matter how I tried to bury my past it will eventually resurface. Just looking at my daughter reminds me of him. She got all his attitude, mannerisms and not to mention how she exactly looks like him.

When you look at her, you can't even tell if she's really my daughter since she's nothing out of me. She doesn't have any of my qualities or any of my genes.

I thought that night that I left the house I would never be able to stand up and live again. What happened two years ago was something I don't want to happen again. I closed my eyes and started to reminisce about the last.

Two years ago……

After the plane landed in my birth country. I was contemplating whether I will go back to the place where I originally belong or turn back to myself again and just lead my life on my own.

Ever since I decided to have my freedom I cut off my finances to my mother. I just don't want to rely financially on her after I bravely stood in front of her and said that I will be ok on my own.

During college I worked part time to sustain myself. I live in a dorm where I met my best friend, Mikaela who is now happily married to Damien.

I wish I could tell this to her. But I choose not because I know the moment that I will tell she will never hesitate to come and rescue me. Knowing her she will drop anything for the sake of me. She is always a very understanding and caring friend. Never once I doubted her kindness to me. She's that kind of friend and I truly love her.

I just regret that I didn't confess my secret to her. I know if she comes to know who I am, I don't know if she will still be my friend after such a lie I had made.

I just don't want to break her heart and to know that me and Blake are no longer at each other. She would be devastated and she will come to my side which I don't want to happen cause I know she's currently eight months pregnant.

I don't want something to happen to her while traveling to New York and be with me. I will kill myself if that's happened.

I thought carefully that if I raised my child on my own she would be alone. I don't want that to happen. Also, I am at the point where I need someone to rely on, someone I can trust and will listen to me.

Before I leave the palace. My mom reminded me of something.

"If something happens and you can't take it anymore, know that I will always be here, me and your sisters will always be here, no matter what. I won't close my door. I will welcome you with open arms, Liliana. You will always be my daughter whenever or wherever you will go.  Promise me if something goes wrong, come back to us. We will be here waiting. Don't ever forget that? Ok?" She said to me,

I can still remember how the three of them cried while I closed the door and went outside.

After we parted. I still often contacted them during my college days. Just when I got married I stopped connecting for that reason. I am afraid that they will be against me marrying an ordinary man.

Ever since I was young I know I am bound to be married to someone who's the same status as me. I just prayed that I would not turn out just like my parents. But I know it's futile to wish such a thing for an arranged marriage is something I don't want to happen to me. Never once have I wished to be part of that kind of entanglement.

An arranged marriage between two parties who are not romantically involved or connected is bound to crumble down.

I always dream to find my dream guy who will love me as who I am. I always wanted to have someone who will be there for me and vice versa. I know it's rare to have that kind of love when you are royalty. But I can't help wishing.

Just when I found someone I am so happy. Happy that I lost myself to it. He became the center of my world. I depended on him so much that I thought he would be the last person who would want to hurt me.

Turns out, he turned my life into pieces. He didn't single batted to let me go. It's like I am wishing for rain to come in the desert. All along I just expected something for nothing.

When he didn't hesitate to sign that waver asking him to waive his right for my child. That time I know things will never be the same again. That is my last straw to him. I can never forgive him for denying his paternity to our child.

It took two days for me to clean everything. The frames with pictures of us on it, small or big, I got it all and burned. The videos on our wedding day I took them too and added to the things I burned.

As I watched everything being eaten by the flame. I feel every fiber of me died. I decided to never leave a single trace of me. Except for the things he bought for me. Those expensive things rather.

I left everything, even my wedding ring. I didn't bother to put a little on it, it's useless. I don't think he deserves my closure. He acted like a person who doesn't have a heart. The guy who promised me that he will love me and only me is gone.

Even though he said that he will leave the house for me to stay. Nah, I don't think I can. It would be a death of me knowing that every single place of that house reminded me of the love we shared.

I don't wish to find true love again. What I wish now is to somehow even without a father I can make my child happy.