By Chance In Oxford

4. Lorenzo

How had I been so blind all this time? I watched from the tinted windows of the Cadillac SUV as she touched up her hair in her car's sun visor mirror. She threw on a pair of aviator shades and began to drive away. God, she was beautiful. I had to get her, I had to ask her out, I had to see her again. I had never felt so connected with a woman in my life, I've never wanted a woman, I have never wanted to give myself up to someone for fear of vulnerability, something I last felt when I lost my parents, something I never want to feel again. With Athena, it was different, she felt different, like if I had spent a few days with her I would come back a changed man. In those few moments today, I felt comfortable, I felt sort of, happy. She was stunning, her long dark brown hair touched her waist and glimmered red in the England sunlight. Her eyes were different, they weren't just plain brown or black, they were a shade of gray with dark brown and black and almost purple, they were beautiful. There wasn't a single flaw to her, every part of her was beautiful. The way her dress hugged her body and her hair perfectly curled as it sat on her chest and lower back. I needed to do something, to show her what I thought of her. I had to take a chance. There was a chance she would reject my offer but I couldn't let it go. Tomorrow I have a meeting with Henry, just a quick catch-up and some brunch at around eleven o'clock to talk about some business and where it's going, catch up on life. I haven't seen him in a while so it would be nice to catch up. I knew she would be at the manor tomorrow for work and it just so happens I'd be there too. I needed to do something to show her that I had interest, a gesture to make her know that I wanted to get to know her and give us a chance. Lucky for her, I had an idea in mind already. "Arturo, don't take me back to my place, can you drive me to the dress boutique on 7th street? I know it is a little out of the way but I urgently need to get something. After that I need you to take me to the jewelry shop quickly because it should be closing soon.", I had an idea up my sleeve that just might help me show the girl that I feel for her, that I care, and that I want to spend time with her. "Of course, sir, anything I can do to be of assistance.", he replied, Arturo was always so kind and easy going, maybe it was because he practically raised me on his own, or maybe it was just that he and I just got along. "Thank you, Arturo, really I mean it, thank you.", I leaned forward to squeeze his shoulder in thanks for everything he always does for me. The rest of my night was sure to be fun. So here's the plan... I'm going to buy her a dress, shoes, jewelry, and a purse for the whole package and give it to her to wear on our date, only if she agrees. I'll have a stylist of mine go over to the manor or her house wherever she decides and do her hair or makeup or whatever she wants, though I think she is naturally beautiful without makeup. I needed to call Annalise and let her and Henry know what my plan was but I wasn't sure if I was going to find anything I felt she would like so I decided to hold off. Walking into the store felt oddly painful, like the walls were closing in on me, I felt like I was drowning. I've never really had a woman figure in my life, my mom died so young I never got to really know her or have a woman represented in my life. I've always waited for the woman who struck me as someone who had a heart like my mothers, someone who reminded me of her. Could it be Athena? I have never wanted to get a woman to agree to dinner the way I want Athena to, I have never engaged in such a conversation with a woman like I did with Athena, with her I had felt different, like I had enough interest to allow myself to be vulnerable. She was special, there was something deeper about her exterior that was covered in that beautiful black silk dress. Like she wasn't just out for my money. Without knowing why, I was determined to find out. The clerk at the front desk of the boutique answered my silent call for help saying, "Hi sir, Mr. Colombo, right?" I replied, "Yes, I'm looking for a dress, shoes, and a purse but I want to focus on the dress, it has to speak to me, and then the rest of the stuff can be found later but truly the dress is what I am looking for. It has to wow her." She smiled and answered, "Mr. Colombo we heard you were coming and prepared some of our best items for you. Follow me to the back. We have a room filled with stuff for you to look at." My palms began to sweat as I followed the women to what felt like the ends of the earth. Words could not express how uncomfortable I felt, they had shut down the boutique for me which gave me some comfort in knowing I wouldn't be the source of someone's humor as my inexperience showed. The back room she took me to was covered in mannequins with dresses from all over the world. "Mr. Colombo, I'll leave you alone to choose. You have to choose whatever speaks to you, don't worry about sizing either, we have each of these in many sizes. You just pick whatever you think the lovely girl will love and I'll help you get on your way." I replied, "Thank you, I'll call you if I need help and I will let you know when I find something. I appreciate all of your help and diligence." She walked through the curtain doorway to get back to the front of the store leaving me with the mannequins all staring back at me as if they were judging me and intimidating me. I made my way through the dresses and couldn't picture any one of them on Athena. They were all too flashy, too dark, too neon, too short, too long, they were all beautiful, and super well made but I just couldn't see any of them on Athena, I feared she would like any of them. Then there it was... Standing tall in the back of the room centered at the display, the most gorgeous dress I had ever seen in my life. I called back the women at the front to tell me about the dress, what it was made of, and what it would cost. "Ahh, you've uncovered the gem. I've had this one locked away for a few months waiting for the right person to roll around. It's handmade, from France. Took about four years to make, it's one of the most beautiful pieces I've ever laid eyes on. Now I know it's white but it comes in other colors if you desire.", she said as if she had been saving it just for me. "The dress has an empire waist and a sheath midi skirt with a tiered high-low hem so it should fall a bit above the ankles, it's sleeveless, it has some thin straps on it. It's made of 100% silk with jacquard and lace flower detailing all throughout. The white color is mixed with a light ivory and looks wonderfully elegant and clean. There is a button placket that runs down the entire front of the dress. It has a deep v-neckline, and the entire backing is open to about the waist which is a beautiful detail. What do you think of it?" I replied, "I think it's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I need matching shoes, and a purse maybe?" "I have just the thing Mr. Colombo, these two accessories were just flown in and I think they would match perfectly.", she said. "Ok, thank you. Will you excuse me, give me a few moments I have to make a call.", I said. "Of course.", she replied. I needed to call Annalise and see if she could help get Athena on board. I also needed some help with sizing and setting this up so the surprise wouldn't be spoiled and everything could work out as best as possible. The line rang for a moment before she picked up. "LORENZO! How are you!? What can I do for you? Is everything ok?", she said happily as her beautiful English accent carried through the phone. "Annalise, I'm fine. I need your help. It's about your nanny, Athena. I met her yesterday at the art gallery while I was searching for one to buy and I had a conversation with her. I want to ask her to dinner. She is beautiful and I want to take the chance and ask her to dinner whether she'll deny me or not. I'm at a dress boutique and I need your advice. What size do you think she is?", I was hesitant, maybe she'll think I'm crazy, contemplating asking a girl out not even a day after meeting her, but something was telling me I had to. "OH Lorenzo. She's wonderful isn't she? A gem I'd go as far as saying, she's understanding, maternal, kind, energetic, comforting, highly intelligent. You've made a good choice if she'll agree to it. She's very busy, you know, she might be your age but your lives are very different. I think you'll come to learn that if she opens up to tell you, her past, everything she has gone through, her life. She's working extremely hard, school, her goals, her dreams, what she has to prove to her family. You're at the height of success, and I know life hasn't been easy for you either but be patient with her, don't expect her to drop everything for you. You have power, so you're used to getting everything you want but power is much different then love, if that is your intention. However, I support you 100%. She's a size 8-10 uk, I've borrowed a few of her things, she's very fashionable you know. Lead with kindness, Lorenzo, is there anything else I can help you with.", she said. "Yes, actually. Tomorrow, as you know I'm coming over for brunch with Henry, to talk business. Would you be able to lay out the dress, things I bought her, and a note somewhere she'll see it?", this sounded like a terrible plan the more I thought about it, what was I doing!? "Of course! She gets to the manor at about twelve or so, if you are coming at eleven that should give us plenty of time to lay it out. I'll place everything in Melody's room this way at two, when Melody wakes up she'll see everything and you'll be gone so it won't ruin the surprise. Is that ok?", she said. "That sounds perfect! I have to go there anyway to pick up my jacket, spilt milk, it's a long story. Thank you Annalise. Thank you so much, let's hope this all works out. I'm nervous, I've never pursued anything with a woman, it's more difficult than I anticipated you know with my mom gone and all.", I replied. "That's normal, don't suppress that part of you. You haven't had a stable woman figure in your life since your mom died, take it as fate. Take a chance, who knows, things might work out.", she somehow always knew, in a few words, how to make me feel like all my problems aren't problems. "Might work out, huh. We'll see about that. Thank you Annalise, sending love. I'll see you tomorrow.", I said, relieved. "That I will, your welcome. Get some rest.", the line died out and now as the sun slowly sank into its bed for the night I had to wrap things up and prepare for the next day. I called the women back to the room to pay for everything. "I'm going to take the dress, the shoes, and the purse. I'll have one of my guys grab everything, just charge it to my card.", I walked to the car and waved to Arturo as one of the guards, Giuseppe jumped out to grab everything and bring it back into the store for me. I sank into the leather seats and laid down, I felt as though I had walked from England to America and back twice, I was exhausted. Giuseppe placed the bags with the items next to me and my eyes guarded them the entire ride. "Arturo, take me back home, forget the jewelry shop, I'm exhausted and I actually have the perfect thing in mind instead.", I said as I yawned. "Of course Lorenzo, right away.", he replied. Getting back to the loft I have here I was greeted by the cold, dark, tile floors after taking my shoes off at the door. It was a small but invasive reminder to how lonely I have felt lately. I never noticed it before, I always thought all I needed in life was power, success, money, control, fame. I thought I was happy, I was picking up the fragments of my deeply destroyed life and was creating a life completely opposite from what I originally knew. As I grew however, and gain more and more factors of success I notice just how empty my life truly is, that all these things I own, all my power, were things compiled together to create a blinder to distract me from my real issues, they made me think I was happy but in reality what I lack most is support, family, someone to call my own in my life. No parents, no siblings, barely any friends unless you count Henry or people I only keep around to ensure successful business. It was only until I reached the peak of my success and things began to slow into a phase of not having to work as hard as everything comes to me that the feeling of loneliness began to eat at me and push beyond the boundaries I had created with material things. The void I spent my life trying to fill was no longer fillable, I couldn't fight it anymore. This agony that consistently made me feel like no one wanted me, like everyone who gets close to me gets hurt, like I mess everything up, that everything I have gone through makes me act out like I'm the devil himself. A darkness that comes over me and smacks me to the muddy ground, and when I use whatever frail bones I have left to crawl up from the floor it smacks me down again, like a never ending vicious cycle. This loft was my mother's, a gift from her parents who lived in England for a while before coming back to Italy to have me. My mother loved it here, whenever we would come for vacations she'd sit at the front window that overlooks the scenic English city in the mornings with a cup of steaming tea, in a hand painted mug, with beautiful brush strokes of smoke rising up from the epicenter of the heat coming from the cup. Most times she was wrapped up in a smooth light blue blanket, when she saw me coming towards the window bench her body rested on at no older than maybe four years old, with nothing on but a pair of underwear with my favorite characters on them, rubbing my eyes she'd look to me and say, "Lorenzo, the sun isn't even up yet, what are you doing up? Come here angel." She would open up the blanket and I'd climb into her lap and watch the sunset with her. Then those memories turned to ashes in a windstorm, they ended. I lost her, and what felt like a part of me as well. I made a vow to myself since that day, to never pursue anything with anyone, to never be as vulnerable as I was able to be with my mom, to never allow myself to feel the warmth that comes with having people that fill your life with love. This was partially why I could not truly understand why I wanted to ask Athena to dinner, to try something and see if she and I would work out. There was just something so beautiful and pure about her, the few minutes I had to speak with her and look into her eyes brought back the feeling I had when my mom was alive and it hit me like a bullet train. She felt like home, and I was only in her presence for less than twenty minutes. I walked to the master bedroom in the loft and grabbed something to change into after my shower. The cold water hit my skin and pulsed through my veins, cold showers were something I used to do as punishment after my mother's death for "not doing enough to protect her, for not doing enough to save her". I slid on the underwear, brushed my wet hair, and brushed my teeth before heading back into the bedroom and kneeling down to reach under the bed. Thank god it was still there. A small, dark red wood box, I opened it to reveal the necklace encased with blue jewels laying in the velvet interior. The main jewel and the largest one a deep dark blue teardrop shaped jewel outlined in silver crystals. Falling behind that one were smaller blue jewels that looked the same but fanned back towards the ears of whoever wore the necklace, almost creating a triangle of jewels. My mother's father bought it for her when he was in Argentina for a trip for work. He was an archaeologist so he was always busy and away from home. She kept it hidden away always, that thing was her prized possession. About a month before she died, she brought me to the loft bedroom and had me sit at her vanity overlooking the beautiful view from her bedroom and she opened the box. She placed her hand on my back and calmly said, "Lorenzo, my love, my angel, I want you to have this necklace. Now, you have to be very careful with it, it is worth more than you know and I cannot imagine what I would feel if it was lost or broken. Someday you might find a woman that you love, someone that makes you feel loved, special, cared for, someone that gives you butterflies in your tummy. You're young now so I want you to wait and keep this necklace for the right women. When you feel in your heart that you have met someone you like, someone that makes you feel complete you give this to her. Until then you keep it safe and allow it to be a reminder of how much I love and adore you, and how much I want to see you succeed in finding your other half, your partner. When you meet a woman and decide you want to see if something will work out, you give this to her and let it be the light that guides the two of you to happiness." I smiled at her and then began to lightly weep as if she was saying goodbye to me forever, which she was, "But mommy, I love you. I want you to keep this necklace because I love you." "I know Lorenzo, and you will never understand this, and never understand how much I love you but I do. Just have this, you'll understand when you are older love bug." I was going to give this to Athena, to wear to dinner tomorrow, if she agrees. I know it is so early, to be giving her something so sentimental and important and irreplaceable. What if she and I are polar opposites and we would never work for love, but the jewels stared back at me as if it was my mom coming back to tell me to give it to her. She was different, I mean it, I could feel it, and I was sure about it like I never have been sure about something so much in my life. It was time. Time to take a risk, time to stop closing myself off, time to stop being afraid of being vulnerable and allowing someone to come into my life. I placed the necklace on the side table and slid into bed. I watched as the moon smiled back at me through the large floor to ceiling windows and drifted off to sleep in preparation for tomorrow.