By Chance In Oxford

24. Athena

I didn't really know what to feel about yesterday, all I knew is that I hoped for brighter days, clearer skies, and broader horizons as I woke up to an empty bed. Last night shook me to the core, it still hasn't fully set in that I almost got killed. I could've died, lost everything I worked for, lost the love of my life. Then he pulls out a ring, and we almost have sex! I mean I wanted it, I did, lord knows I did, but last night was so scary, and depressing I had only hoped we would do it in a safer, more romantic place. I wanted to feel scared after what happened but to be honest, I couldn't, I didn't want to feel scared because Lorenzo's actions had proved that he would do anything to protect me and that he would go to extreme lengths to keep me safe. And after what he had done, sacrificing his mothers grave location, consequences with the police and business partners, as well as further ruining the relationship that was crumbling with his father. He didn't think twice but to just save me, and that made me feel like getting in front of that gun was all worth it, because it was yet another reason for proof Lorezno was made for me. Now I'm sure in his head he had contemplated and questioned if he should just let me die, after all he had more power than me and would lose nothing if I died. But yet, he killed his own father, a man that is a part of him whether he would like to admit it or not. That was reason enough for me to understand that this was my lifestyle now, now that I was marrying Lorenzo and entering his family and his lifestyle this was probably something I would run into more than just this once, and so maybe I needed to toughen up although Lorenzo made it clear that all my feelings were valid and that I should have them considering what i experienced last night was something I never did before. It hurt because every memory of my dad, and what he had done to me had flooded back. The feeling of helplessness or like you are burdening someone else if you say something and try to get help. After we had landed he took us back to our place and had a few phone calls with some people who I assume were trying to help him with his current situations. Then we went to sleep together in the same bed. Which still felt like bliss. "Goodnight my love, you're safe, I promise you, I'm here. I love you.", he said as he cradled me close in a spoon position as my back sat against his stomach. In this moment I wanted nothing more than to replay this memory for the rest of my life, like when you shake a snowglobe and the snow falls again and replays whatever is supposed to go on inside. It was dark, quiet, crickets, and the stars. "Lorenzo... I'm home. Thank you for taking me there.", I said. His only response was small shallow breaths that were even and consistent telling me he was asleep and heard none of what I said. But it didn't matter, I loved him, and planned to spend the rest of my life with him, giving me plenty of opportunities to tell him again. I got dressed in a silk, dark brown dress shirt tucked into some jeans, with a watch, and some jewelry. I journeyed through the house to see if I could find him. He was on the front porch, I kissed him good morning and placed a cup of steaming coffee in his hands. He continued talking as my body leaned over the railing of the porch. He came up behind me slowly kissing my back as he spoke to whoever was on the other end. It sounded like one of his friends, or business partners. He was telling them that everything was in order with his dad and that he wouldn't be sentenced according to the investigators because of Lorenzo's name, power, and the fact that his father had initiated the act of assault leaving Lorenzo with no choice but to use self defense against his father. The rock that was lodged in my throat, I put it there on purpose, constantly thinking about the idea of Lorenzo going to jail or being killed, having to visit him in prison, or at a graveyard and never getting to spend another second with him. Lucky for me, the rock fell to my stomach and I could breathe again knowing that he was protected and safe by the law. Now was my chance, he got rid of one problem, I needed to get rid of the other one for him. It was only right since all of this was my fault. I snuck into his office to look for the grave deed contract he had hidden in the bottom left drawer of his desk. On multiple occasions I had seen him open that drawer and I had seen the paper for myself. Grabbing it I had gotten my fringe purse and walked to the porch mouthing, "I'm going to the doctors" He looked in reply and nodded. I scurried out the door and tried to get to Lara as quickly as possible. IT WAS DONE. The excitement I had to tell Lorenzo what I had done was taking me over. I felt as though I would get into a car accident at the speed I was going but I couldn't control myself. I was just so excited. Walking into the house I was greeted by Lorenzo cooking something in the kitchen, he was making me avocado toast! My heart skipped a beat because my mom always made this for me when we lived in New york. She was a fitness guru, she loved health and yoga and fitness and one of the things she always made was avocado toast and I'll always remember that. "Hi beautiful, how were the doctors? Is everything ok!?", he said sweetly, a perfect greeting to get home to. "Everything was fine. Thank you for cooking for me. However, do we think we could put that on hold for a little while so I can talk to you? It's really important.", I said, hoping to lure him to a quieter place than the messy kitchen to tell him the great news. "Of course, let's go to the bedroom, what's wrong?", he said. We sat down on the bed and I couldn't help but get a little nervous. What if he was upset that I went through his things, or went to see Lara without telling him, or stepped into another dangerous situation alone. "Don't be mad. I just wanted to help. I know I already caused a few problems and you were left all alone to solve them yourself so I took it upon myself to help a little. Your mom stays here. Everything that was your fathers goes into Lara's name. So if he were to die, everything goes to Lara, including his power. After talking her into it, she agreed to sign the contract. The contract that you have been waiting to get your father to sign because at the time your mom was buried you were still a minor. She signed it, we have a copy. So now, your mom stays forever in England. Unless you call for it, she stays where she is. I just love you so much, and I felt like something you love so dearly was being ripped from you because of me. So I wanted to fix it.", I said. I stared at him for a second as he wasn't giving me any reaction. He stood from the bed and began pacing with his hand over his mouth and the other on his hip. "Athena why the fuck would you do that! You were almost killed in that place, with that woman, with her help and you lied to me, told me you were going to the doctor's office and went to see her! ALONE! With no protection, do you know what kind of position that puts me in!? I mean what if she agreed to letting you in so that she could kill you for real, after all she just lost her husband I feel she wouldn't have a problem killing you! I mean what were you thinking!? You can't do stuff like this!", he replied. I couldn't help but both want to tear up, and go back in time to change my decision at the same time. I couldn't say anything, I needed to give him a minute, to calm down, to breathe, to cool off. "God I want to kiss you so badly right now! I mean it's amazing, the fact that you were able to do this for me but you can't do that to me! I mean do you realize what would happen to me if you died, if something happened to you. You'll never understand my heart beats for you! I need you here, I need to be with you! I'm just glad you're ok! Ughh fuck I've never been so happy and so angry at the same time.", he ripped off his shirt, barbarically and pushed me down on the bed. He hit my skin recklessly and the same feeling as all the other times came upon me, only this time it was ten times stronger. I wanted this, I was ready. I ripped off his pants and he began removing my clothing and before I knew it he was there, this was happening. "Are you sure about this?", he said. "Yes.", I replied. The way it felt, something unlike anything I had felt before. He let out a soft groan as he went in, his hand stroking my thigh. "Uhh, you have no idea how much I have wanted this, how much I have waited for the right moment. My body aches for you, love.", he said. My nails dug softly into his back, by the time we were finished my body shook, I was in chills. I laid my head in his chest, the bed felt more heavenly than ever before. "I've never felt that before, but I guarantee it couldn't get better than just now. I'm glad it was you that was my first time.", I said as he gently kissed my forehead and brushed my hair through with his fingers. "This was your first time? I don't care if it was, I'm glad I was your first time to. I'm surprised though, I'd imagine guys would throw themselves at you.", he replied. I laughed, "Not quite, I've never had a boyfriend before you." He kissed me, and savored it. "I love you. Nap time?", he said. I snuggled closer to him as he covered me up and said, "I love you more. And yes, yes of course I want to nap." And we took a nap. I slowly drifted to sleep a changed woman, feeling cared for. What we had, this relationship, the sex, the falling deeply, madly and irrevocably in love with him felt, to me like jumping off the edge of a giant waterfall without knowing what will happen when you get to the bottom. Without knowing if it's deep, shallow, or if you'll sink, or float. But I enjoyed feeling blind to it, and when I got to the bottom I was floating. Captured by the water cradling me like a blanket, I was floating.