By Chance In Oxford

23. Lorenzo

Moment ruined. She was snatched away by Lara and one of her assistants dressed in all black like the ones that took our jackets at the door saying, "You must be Athena, Lorenzo told me about you! Come with me.", she said. While I wanted nothing to do with her, she seemed innocent and wanted to introduce herself to Athena. Also, Athena didn't seem very uncomfortable, just normal social awkwardness. I sat back at the table and watched as Athena sat at the head table next to Lara. Absolutely I was jealous, I couldn't be anywhere without her, I couldn't leave her for one second and she was making friends with people I hated. But I couldn't control the girl, she was my soulmate, not an object, imagine me years ago, me claiming I had a soulmate, I would have thought you were crazy. The mic tapped and I looked up from the stage as my dad was beginning to make a speech. "Hello, everyone. Friends, family, partners. I'm so glad you're here. It has been all grind, no sleep at the company and seeing all your smiling faces here today makes me feel like it was all worth it. I want to start my speech by thanking some people that are here tonight." Bullshit! The way he spoke in innocence like he had worked so hard and had to overcome so much to get where he is, when he practically cheated his way to everything. The way he sounded so genuine, when in reality he was a demon sent from hell. I tried to zone him out and ignore every word he was saying but quickly failed when he said, "I would like to call my son up to speak a few words and to show all of you just how tough he is, and why he would make a good business partner to all of us as he never backs down on a task. And of course his lovely girlfriend Athena. Lorenzo...?" I froze before shooting up from my seat, this couldn't be happening, Lara had pushed Athena up from the table and onto the stage where her neck was now in my father's grasp. Those in the crowd either gasped, or laughed, or cheered as if I was going to do what they expected. "Lorenzo, kill her. Or I will. Show everyone how ruthless you are, how tough you are. How nothing means anything to you but getting your job done. Unless you'd rather have her moved to Italy. Your choice.", he said with a gun pointed to Athena's head. The worst part was I couldn't even tell if it was loaded or anything, I was too far away. "Come on up here. KILL HER! Come on, it should be easy, you've never been one for love yourself. Everyone is watching, and wouldn't want to disappoint them as they await a good show. We can make this quick and painless. Prove your loyalty. Take the gun from my hands and kill her." I bolted for the stage, remembering that I had a gun strapped to the inside of my suit but with a gun to her head I knew I needed to choose my next moves wisely, at any second she could be dead. I walked towards the stage and stood next to the two of them. Everyone was on the edge of their seats, waiting for me to do it, waiting for me to prove what they all wanted me to prove, my strength, my inability to possess any weakness. I watched as she stood there, tears welling in her eyes, looking defenseless and scared that I was going to kill her. Me, a murderer, I mean I knew I was but only because I had no choice, for the work I did, but to her, I woudlnt lay a finger on her, to hurt her, let alone kill her. I wanted to scoop her up in my arms and shield her from the danger, but I couldn't. This process to get her safe was so slow and prolonged it felt like walking on pins and needles. At this point, staring into her eyes, I knew she was convinced that I was about to kill her, and that hurt more than any bullet could. It was a hard choice however, I had to think, this was my mother we were talking about, my everything. I loved my mother more than anything in this world, she was love, she was home, she was my person. And not being able to see her ever again because she was restricted between boundaries my father created was something I would pay any price for to prevent. I grabbed the gun from my father slowly and pointed it at her. My father released his grip from her neck and grabbed her hands firmly so she still could not go anywhere even if she tried to. My finger, sweating against the trigger, my hand shaking so much I would've missed the target and standing right at the center of the bullseye was her. It was her, or my mother. Her, or my mother. Her, or my mother. I kept replaying this in my head, either way I was losing someone, but the question was, what would hurt more to lose, could I keep both after all? She looked at me, and without her saying a word I knew she had seen me differently forever, saw me as a monster, and couldn't trust me ever again. It was hard, I hesitated to shoot her because of the way she made me feel, she made me crazy, she made me feel loved, I had never thought of something or someone so much in one day. For a few seconds I was willing to do it, but there are 24 hours in a day and each one, each minute, each second, I'm thinking about her, even my dreams, her. Everything is her, and I knew that if I did this I would be even more screwed than I was without my mom, or anyone by my side. I think I really did love her. "You know dad, you wouldn't know if I'm in love, you never showed me what that was, I had to learn it on my own, from the beautiful woman standing in front of me and it's the only thing in life that I crave like a drug addict on withdrawal. So fuck off already, go to hell, maybe there you'll stop pretending you ever did me any good.", I said as the bullet shot him in the head, and the casing hit the ground, the tip of the gun still smoking slightly. He was gone, clearly dead the second the bullet hit him. I grabbed Athena, picked her up and we ran out of the house together. The people in the ballroom seemed to have little to no reaction, some of them gasping, some of them laughing, like this was all part of some show my father was putting on. Just our luck, it was pouring as soon as we ran out. Athena shivered in my arms, her skin cold to the touch, this was all my fault. She was in such a state of shock that made me believe she might not even make it to tomorrow. The car rolled out on the side of the road and I ushered the driver away. I needed it to just be me and her in this car. He did as I said after I paid for an uber to take him back to headquarters. We zoomed out slightly before I stopped the car to talk to her, she hadn't said a word to me since. "Athena, talk to me! I know you're frozen, I know what just happened was tragic but you need to tell me what is going on. You need to understand that what I did was my only choice, I had to do it, call me selfish but I can't be without you, that's why I did it. And I really thought I could handle myself but you make me crazy, you make me feel stuff, you make me want you. And I'm sorry you had to see me kill someone, I've done it many times before it's part of my job, so I guess it doesn't come as a shock to me.", I said and then paused to look at her practically begging her for a reaction. "I love you, thank you. You... you... you killed your own father, for me, to protect me. Standing there on that stage for a split second I was ready to die, really I was content with you killing me, I would be able to go knowing I got to end an entire life of trauma with love and happiness. But I'm so glad you didn't. I'll keep my distance if you want, I'll move out for a while so you can get your stuff together, I'll get out of your hair so you can heal from this. And I'm sorry if this puts you in a bad position or causes trouble for you or your business but I've never been so scared in such a short amount of time and all I want right now is to go home and cuddle and fall asleep in your arms.", she said, incredibly. She had just been a victim to a potential killing and she was apologizing. "Baby, don't say sorry, this is my fault, not yours. And I want nothing but distance from you, I want your scent, your touch, your warmth, your body, your kiss, I want you, I've always wanted you, nothing else. Don't go away from me, I will handle all of this, I promise. I just need to know if you're ok. That's all I care about. I will never ever let you out of my sight again, I will always be there to protect you, from now on. Are you ok?"I tried my hardest to calm her down. Her body was shaking and frail, and at this point I was worried for her health. "I'm so sc... sc.... Scared. Can you please hold me?", she said, shivering like she had just been in the cold for hours. "Of course I can, come here. You're going to be ok, I promise, nothing is going to happen to you.", I replied, holding her body and peeling her head to my chest. "Breathe, let me know when you are feeling better so we drive home." She answered, "Ok, I think I just need a minute and then I'll be ok." So I gave it to her, however many minutes she needed, she had. She had finally been set to go and we left the small narrow street we hid in for a few moments and made our way back to the house. I felt terrible, this feeling eating at my insides making me feel like the worst person in the world, and when I thought about the feeling for a second I had come to the terrible realization that this feeling was the exact same feeling I had felt when my mom died. Guilt, a feeling of hopelessness like I should just completely walk out of her life because she would be better off. I had forgotten about it until it became so familiar at this moment. I wanted to leave, but I couldn't, I had a crying girl in my car, someone I was convinced I loved but I was damaging her in the same way I was damaging everything else, like my mom's life. I hated myself so much at that moment, I thought that feeling was something I could sweep under the rug and forget about but then all it took was someone to lift that rug and I was covered in the same dust again. Like I ruined everything I touched and the more I tried to move on, be happy, help others, the more I just messed everything up. If I had been just a second later, she would have died, if I had not railed my father up earlier in the night than maybe a gun would never be at her head, if I had just stayed home and battled legally to get my mother to stay in England, she would have no chance of dying the way she almost did, it was me, being stupid, again. Which was another problem I hadn't even allowed to cross my mind yet, my mother. She was going to be shipped to Italy, because I didn't kill her. There had to be something I could do, but right now I needed to get back to England and make things right again before I even dealt with a gravesite of a woman who deserves more than getting moved around every 10 minutes. The rain got stronger as we got closer to being at the runway, it fell on the roof of the car like loud baseballs being thrown to a tin roof. It was peaceful in theory, but in reality it was stressing me out on top of the current situation we were in. Now I felt so right, like my mother was talking to me telling me that everything that had just happened today was a sign to do what I had been thinking about for months on end. I had power, I had money, I had danger, I had killed, I had a house, I had a jet, I had cars, I had women, I had everything but one thing, someone to love. And the shivering girl sitting close was the person all my love was supposed to go to, and one thing she didn't have, a ring, on her finger. I seal the marriage that binds us together more than we have ever been before. Lucky for her, I had carried one around in my back pocket for months, waiting for the perfect time, the moment that gave me the feeling my mom always talked about. She always said that you should wait before making any decisions or doing anything until you get the feeling, you'll know you have gotten them when you do but you have to take advantage of it when you do, it's the angels from the heavens pushing you down to do what you have been dreaming of doing but had cold feet to do before. Though tonight was the most dysfunctional, hectic, chaotic, fearful, painful, separating night of my life, something made me feel like the angels were using me into the water right now. Telling me that I had to do it. So I let them take control, I let them enter my body and move it for me, every step, every moment being controlled by higher powers letting me know that it was the right time finally, after so much waiting, longing, and desire. I was speeding, trying my hardest to get us home as quickly as possible but now, all I wanted to do was stop, and get this done. Like the situation called for her to know that with her wearing this ring I would stop at nothing to keep her safe. Maybe it would even make her happy considering what she just went through, something to distract her, take her mind off of the craziness that just occurred. I stopped the car and pulled over to the side of the road. She shot me a confused look as I removed my suit jacket, opened the door and walked outside. I was standing out in the rain with the driver seat door open peaking my head in saying, "Get out." She did as I said and stepped out of the passenger seat to stand next to me. I took both her hands in mine and started kissing her, the passion was reckless leaving me longing for more after each one, like her lips were soaked in alcohol. The rain falling on our lips making my longing for her rapidly increase into an obsessive state. My hair soaked, my clothing soaked, same with hers. Her long hair slightly waved with the saturation it had taken from the rain water. All I felt like doing was staying here, jumping in puddles, dancing in the rain, who I was becoming. "What are we doing?", she asked in between breaths. "Just trust me.", I said as I pulled the ring box out from the suit jacket sitting in the car. "Stop! NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? STOP THIS IS NOT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!", she squealed, with a giddy reaction to me getting down on my knee. "Athena Carter, my love. Princess, I need you to know that I need you. You know how long I have struggled with this, how much I have felt like I needed to lock myself away from love. I can't anymore, I'm letting you unlock it, you're the only one with the key anyway. I want to be here day and night to protect you, to love you, to provide for you, to guide you, to teach you things, to support you, to laugh with you, to have fun with you, to cry with you, and to be the husband every woman dreams of having. I want to be that for you. I love you! I'm screaming it at the top of my lungs because I love you, I really do. Love was always a sleeping animal I never wanted to wake, for fear that I would get let down again or for fear that love would disappoint and I would be left with no one just like after my mother died. But the difference is that what I had before was not real love. You have provided me with that, something I have never had before. And I don't care if you say no, it won't matter because every single part of my heart will still beat for you until the day I die. I want to wake up every single morning with your legs entangled in mine and go to sleep after a long stressful day cradling you to the sound of rain falling on the roof. I want you. I need you. Tonight just proves how terribly I long for you, I was willing to kill people I shouldn't for you, I wouldn't kill for anyone but myself, but this time it was different. If you put this ring on, we are officially binding together and I promise to be the man you have always dreamed about and wished for, I will protect you, love you, care for you, always give you attention, do things I don't want to do just because you want to do them, and as proven by tonight I will kill for you. Whatever it takes to make you happy. I'll do it. I burn for you, I need you or else the flame dies, and I go with it back to the dark pits I was in before I met you. Ms. Athena Carter, will you provide me with what was robbed from me, the love I have always desired and do me the honor of being my wife. Will you marry me?", I tried so hard to hold back tears but it seemed she had already failed at that making it less embarrassing for me. I had only assumed she would say yes, after all we had been through, and after how deeply in love we have become. Of course part of me was still nervous she would say no but I had never wanted anything so deeply than how I wanted this and boy was I determined to get it. "Oh Lorenzo, you have given me everything I need to be happy already. Just you being alive, and with me, protecting me as you never fail to do is what I need to continue this life and be happy. What do you expect me to say, no? Absolutely fucking yes! I will marry you! You have no idea how long I have dreamed of this day, brushing it off for a while because I was so convinced that no one in this world would want to marry such a screwed up person like me. It's a fairytale ending.", she screamed in reply, so deeply happy that she was going to be getting married. She slid the ring onto her finger, I perfectly fit. I mean it was perfect, not too tight, not too loose and it looked incredible on her hand. She stared at it as a tear fell onto the perfectly cut jewel. I questioned in my mind why she looked at it as she did. Did she not like it? "This ring is too much. I don't deserve something this big and beautiful, why? Why me? Why did you get me this, and you remembered what I had wanted!", she said, feeling selfish that the ring was hers. I replied, "You deserve more than just this, and I promise to give you that, I'll upgrade it every 5 years if you desire, anything you need baby girl, I've got you. Of course I remembered, if I was going to ask you to marry me I would only hope I would get you the right ring!" The ring was a small, diamond embedded band with a giant ruby crystal in an emerald shaped cut sitting in it. One time we had been discussing marriage and she had told me that her grandmother had a ruby engagement ring and that their marriage lasted until the grave. She had told me that her grandmother wanted to be buried with the ring so all hope of wearing it herself was lost. She had always said that if she got married she would want a ruby instead of a diamond. I loved that about her, everything she did was different. Different from the crowd, from the trend, from what society says is ok. She always desired what her heart told her to have, her attention grabbed by things she thought were beautiful and I so appreciated that from her. For a moment after she stared at it I had thought that she hated it, that it wasn't big enough or that it wasn't what she had wanted but she actually liked it, she really, really liked it. That made me all kinds of happy inside. "God, I love you so much!", she said. All I could do was laugh in reply, I had never felt so happy in one moment, in my entire life. So happy that the fact that my mother's grave was set to be moved to Italy, and the fact that I had just killed my own father really didn't bother me at the moment, in fact, it felt like all my problems don't exist anymore. Like I had jumped through the ring of fire to an alternate universe and no one could get me anymore. We got onto the jet, just after midnight, we would arrive back at our place at around 3 am. We were soaking wet. My dress shirt was practically a part of my skin now as it was so wet you could see my skin through it, her dress was so stiff that you could barely tell it was even wet. The jet took off and now we were in the air. I let her go into the bathroom where I had packed her a matching sweat set, shorts and a tank top. "Babe, can you come in here and help me unzip this dress? Its clenching on to every sliver of skin I have and its soo painful and so tight, please help.", she said. "Asking me to unzip your dress, nothing would bring me more joy.", I said as I approached the bathroom, still soaking wet. I unclipped it and brought the zipper down to her lower thigh. With my left hand I gently slid my hand down her body in the inside of the fabric sending chills down her body. She shivered and let out a small gasp. I sent a trail of kisses down the zipper on her skin before removing the whole dress from her body. The dress fell from the floor and there she was standing in her red lace bra and underwear. I unclipped the bra and her hands slipped under my shirt trying to pry it from my wet skin. We moved in synchronization towards the small bedroom hidden at the back of the jet. It was dark in there with nothing but a small reading light hanging over the bed frame. Slowly removing every piece of clothing we wore, kissing her neck and chest. Running my hand over her chest, and onto her face again pulling her hair out of her face. She flipped me so my back was facing the bed and then climbed on top of me as I lay on my back. "Does someone want to get into control?"I said, all she could do in response was giggle softly through her breath as she began kissing every inch of my body down to my underwear and she began ripping it off of me. I flipped her again so that she was on the bottom and said, "There's no power grab here, I already have it my love." I led my hand down to her waist slowly teasing her by kissing her inner thighs. Before I could do anything I made eye contact with her to make sure she was ok with all of this. It turned out thought she wasn't. "Baby, stop. I don't know if I'm ready. Immediately I stopped and backed away. I wanted her to feel comfortable and if she didn't I was going to stop. I stopped laid next to her and covered us up with the thin silk sheet tucked into the bed. "I'm sorry. I really am. I mean I know you probably don't want this that badly anyway. I just don't know if I'm ready, and it's not you, I freaking love you, and if I could I would do this every minute of everyday with you. I'm just nervous to screw things up for you.", she said, feeling guilty for telling me to stop. "Baby, don't be sorry. It's ok. We stop, it's ok. If you're not ready, you're not ready, when you are we can do it, and enjoy it together. Sex is not the only thing I want with you. It practically means nothing, of course I want all of you, but only when the time comes. And don't you dare say that you would screw things up for me, gosh I'm on fire for you, the things i want to do with you, you're far incapable of screwing anything up for me. You don't understand, I want to treat you like a queen. Stand behind you, be your king, your right hand man watching you take on anything. I would burn this world down for you. I love you, don't ever forget that. You know something... you're what makes me earth spin, without you, the world stops turning, and when the earth stops turning I die, I can't live without the earth spinning, if it stops I liquefy, so don't let me liquefy, don't let me die, stay with me always.", I pleaded with her. "I won't, you know that. I will never understand how many times I have to tell you that before you I felt nothing, no one ever loved me. Now, I finally feel love and you think I'm going to throw it away? Before I was just surviving, because I had to. Now, I'm alive. Like turning on the lights in a warehouse, thousands take their turn shining for the first time of the day, or starting a car, the engine wakes from its slumber and starts rumbling ready to take on whatever distance it has to. I want to live, I want to feel alive, I'm happy here. You can't take that away from me, no one can.", she replied. Her justification was clear and made me feel less terrible about what I had said and about what I had felt. I didn't want her to think that I was under the impression she would leave me if she wanted to someday but that alone was my biggest fear and it crippled me. "Now, why don't we get changed into something more comfortable and go watch a movie for the rest of the flight. Then go to sleep and wake up to celebrate our engagement. I understand it might seem a little hard to celebrate after the night we experienced today.", I said. All in an effort to calm the situation and make us feel a little happier. Everything was piling up and all I wanted right now was to just feel happy that I was engaged to the love of my life. Instead, I felt like an engine leaking gas, without the driver knowing, getting ready to be surprised at any moment when the engine decides to fail. Or a time bomb, gently ticking until it makes its explosive debut. I was piling up all my issues in a closet, what I didn't want was the day I would have to open the closet and let all of the junk fall on me, engulfing me in it. Unfortunately, that day was coming soon.