Little Secrets, Little Bucky

Mama's Back

Three days later, Y/n was finally coming home. Her plane got in a few hours earlier than anticipated and she decided to surprise Bucky. Steve came to pick her up from the airport, overjoyed to see his big sister again, and she promised that they would all get to spend time together that night. When she got home and entered her suite she saw Bucky, curled up in her bed clutching one of her pillows. He was sound asleep, clutching his blankie and she felt her heart ache with how small he looked. Steve had said that Bucky had been little for the entire day a few days ago, but she knew it hadn't been enough. He'd shoved it back for so long, he clearly needed to be little again.

Bucky woke up to the feeling of someone gently carding their fingers through his hair. He groaned and pushed his face into the pillows assuming that it was Steve or Sam. "M not little," he mumbled out. "Lemme sleep." He heard the person laugh at his irritation, it didn't sound like Steve or Sam. It almost sounded like.... Wait. Bucky's eyes shot open as he sat up as fast as he could just to see Y/n, smiling softly and sitting right in front of him on the bed.

He grabbed onto her, burying his face in her shoulder like he was trying to convince himself that she really was there. She ran a hand up and down his back as he tried to keep his emotions under control. Y/n could feel him shaking in her arms and began whispering to him, trying to get him to let go. She knew he needed to be little, he needed the comfort that he'd been so desperately craving for the last three weeks. "I missed you guys so much, Bucky," she said softly. "I missed watching movies all together, I missed cooking dinner as a family, I even missed Steve's awful taste in ice cream. But you know what I missed the most?" Bucky shook his head, still clinging to her with everything he had. "I missed taking care of my baby," she said as she pressed a kiss to his head.

"Really?" Bucky choked out, still unable to believe that his mama would miss having to look after him.

"Really," Y/n affirmed. "All I wanted to do was come home and get you all cozy so I could snuggle you as long as we wanted." Bucky let out a shaky little breath against her shoulder as she spoke. "Do you think we could do that now, my little love? Can you let Mama take care of her baby for a while?"

Bucky burst into tears as he nodded his head. His mama's gentle words had sent him plummeting into his headspace and it was all he could to cry and hold onto Mama while he fell apart. The tears of relief wouldn't stop falling as his mama finally comforted him after so long apart. "Thought Mama might not come back," he whimpered between sobs. "P'ease don' leave me all alone. M sorry Mama but I need you so bad."

"Oh my sweet little baby," Y/n cooed as she held him tight, "Mama would never just abandon you to be all alone, that's why I made sure your uncles would take care of you. And there's nothing for you to be sorry for. It's alright that you need your mama. That's why we do this, angel. So that you have someone to depend on."

"Tried to be good, promise I did," Bucky choked out.

"I know, Uncle Steve and Uncle Sam told me all about it." She soothed, running a hand through his tousled hair. "Mama's so proud of you." Bucky sniffled, finally calming down in his mama's arms. "Why don't we get you all cozy so that you can have a bottle and finish your nap?" That was all that Bucky had been wanting for the last three weeks. He nodded his head and almost started crying all over again at the fact that he could finally have it.

Y/n picked up her baby, carrying him to the bathroom to wash his face off. Bucky watched her face in awe as she painstakingly removed all of the snot and tears from his cheeks without a trace of disgust or irritation. She was so gentle with him, it was still so unbelievable no matter how long she'd been taking care of him. She helped him get undressed, but before she put him in his pull-up she realized that a bath may be in order. It would hopefully make him feel more at ease. Once the bath had been drawn and Bucky had chosen a bath fizzy, purple and plum-scented this time, she helped him into the water with his bath toys.

"Mama, bath?" Bucky asked, wanting her as close as possible. He'd gone so long without her near him, he just wanted to play with his mama.

"Mama's already helping you take a bath, silly boy," she laughed, picking up one of his rubber ducks.

"No," he huffed. "Mama, bath."

Y/n hesitated for a moment. "Okay, hold on a second, sweetheart," she said, walking into the bedroom. "I'll be right back." Bucky was a little nervous while she was gone, so when she came back a few minutes later wearing her bathing suit he breathed out a sigh of relief. She got into the ridiculously large tub, pushing one of Bucky's toy boats over to him. He giggled when it bumped into his chest and grabbed his bath crayons to draw a picture on the wall of the tub. Y/n managed to get Bucky clean between rubber duck battles and drawing on the walls, somehow most of the water even stayed in the tub!

Once her baby was as clean as she could get him, she got him dried off and into a pull-up, bringing him into the bedroom to get dressed. Y/n handed her baby his plastic keys to keep him entertained while she chose an outfit for him and got herself dressed in the bathroom. He giggled at the brightly colored keys clacking together as he shook them, falling further into his headspace as he laid on his stomach in nothing but his pull-up.

Y/n took a while picking out Bucky's outfit, making sure he'd be comfortable while they were spending time with Steve and Sam after his nap. She grabbed a white onesie covered in bumblebees from the dresser. Bucky seemed pretty young at the moment and she wanted to make sure she encouraged it. The longer they were together and the more he trusted her, the smaller he seemed to get and the happier he seemed. She grabbed a pair of yellow joggers to match his onesie and blue socks with grips on the bottoms, knowing that the babyish feature made him feel even littler.

When she came to dress him he sat up on his knees, reaching to hug his mama. He was craving the affection he'd been missing for so long and she happily brought him into her arms, just holding him for a moment before he got dressed. "Arms up, angel," she instructed, helping him get his head and arms into his onesie. She got his socks on his feet and had him lay down so that she could fasten the snaps of his onesie. She helped him into his pants and picked him up off the bed, just letting him hang onto her for a while. He was babbling nonsensically to himself, fiddling with the strings of her sweatshirt while she held him.

When she took him to the kitchen, Bucky held on tighter not wanting her to set him down. "Honey, I need you to sit on the counter for Mama," she said patiently, trying to pry him off. "I need both hands."

"No," Bucky whined, tearing up as he clung to his Mama. "Need Mama to hold me. P'ease Mama don' go."

"Alright, hold on baby. Mama's gonna try to figure this out." Y/n said, pressing a kiss to his head as she realized that he was genuinely upset about her setting him down. She asked Jarvis to send one of Bucky's uncles to help and Sam came just a few moments later.

"J said you needed help with something?" Sam asked as he entered the kitchen. "What's up, Y/n/n?" Y/n quietly explained the situation while Bucky held on tight and Sam gave an understanding smile. "He just wants his mama, huh? I can make a bottle, why don't you just relax."

Y/n sighed in relief as she thanked Sam and walked over to the couch with Bucky. Once she had settled him in her lap with his blankie he finally let himself loosen his grip on her, knowing that she wouldn't disappear now. "Say thank you to your uncle, sweetheart," she said when Sam came over with a bottle for Bucky. "It was so nice of him to make you a baba."

"T'ank you Uncle Sam," Bucky said shyly, giggling when Sam ruffled his hair. Sam left for the common room, knowing that Bucky probably wanted some time alone with his mama.

While Bucky ate, Y/n told him how happy she was to have her baby back and how proud she was that he had been brave enough to let his uncles take care of him while she was away. She kept repeating over and over again how much she loved taking care of him and how much she had missed getting to baby him. Bucky just stared up at her while he drank his bottle, doing his best to absorb every word his mama was saying. He had missed her so much and it felt so good that Mama really did miss him just as much as he missed her.

When he'd been burped, Mama moved him so that he was straddling her and wrapped a blanket around him. She rubbed big circles on his back, gave him his paci, and before long he was sound asleep, completely content to rest in his mama's arms. While he was asleep, Y/n pulled out her phone and texted her brother and Sam. They had two weeks until Christmas and every day would count now, hopefully they'd get it done without Bucky figuring it out, considering he seemed a little suspicious lately. Only time would truly tell.