which was of course, I love you.

3.

The morning that followed was much like the previous one, but there were some changes. I was in boris' arms still, but both of our shirts were off and I was only in my boxers. I didnt remember much from the previous night, but I remembered how it felt. It felt so fucking amazing, so loving. I could've relived that moment again and again and never had grown tired of it. My thoughts were interrupted by Boris' voice. "Goodmorning, Potter." Boris sounds just exhausted as I was. "Morning, do you remember anything from last night?" I laugh tiredly. "Sort of, all a blur, eh?" Hes laughing now too, pulling me closer. He stayed there for a bit. Close. And trying to recollect the events of last night. After a bit we had both silently agreed to take a shower. Though I must admit, I was a bit surprised when Boris picked me up bridal style and carried me into the bathroom, setting me on the counter.
I studied him closely as he turned the shower on, making sure it was the right temperature. Then, he stripped both of us and we both got in. For a while we were just standing there, holding eachother. He eventually started working shampoo and conditioner into his hair, doing the same to mine after. I smiled up at the tall boy when he finished rinsing my hair, pulling him into a quick kiss. We had also silently agreed to not talk about last night, or any of the nights that may follow. "Ey, potter?" He began to say, I looked at him again. He hesitated, opening his mouth to speak. "I- ..nevermind." I frown up at him this time, knowing exactly what he was going to say. I love you. Three words. And he couldnt say them. Not to me, atleast. But I didnt mind, I couldn't manage to say them either. And I had tried. Last night, after our activities, I looked up to him, opening my mouth. I immediately closed it, realizing what I was about to say. I couldn't, not yet. I was brought back to reality by Boris speaking. "Ey, potter! You alive?" I rolled my eyes at that. "Yes, I'm alive." "Good." He turned the shower off, stepping out and wrapping us in towels. "Such a gentleman." He and I both laughed at that. We walked into my room, grabbing our clothes and putting them back on. "Oh! Almost forgot, potter. There is party at your little girlfriend's house tonight. Maya." I rolled my eyes again. "Shes not my girlfriend, but yes I'll go with you." "Ah, I see." He laughs. The next thing I know, we're walking to Maya's house, hand in hand. We walk in and I immediately see that girl. Kotku. I think her real name is Kylie or something. That doesnt matter. I turn around to leave, Boris stopping me. "Its fine, Potter. Don't let her get to you." He knows, so I turn around. I decide to stay, heading over to the table of assorted drinks. There's everything from beer to rum. I decide to grab a bottle of vodka, seeing Boris migrate to the other table, full of drugs. I open the bottle, taking a sip. I know I'm going to end up chugging this as I see her walk over to Boris. Hes already high on whatever he took, so he listens to her, and follows her. To the couch. Next thing I know his lips are on her neck. When really his lips should be on mine. I hear him mumble that name again. "Kotku". That was my nickname first. I remember the first time he called me it. "What a cute little kotku you are!". I guess I was jealous. Jealous. Jealous of her. I was jealous of her because she had Boris' attention. I wasnt thinking, especially because I had just finished that bottle. Boris wasn't looking at me, so I walked over to Maya, pulling her into a desperate kiss. I looked over and Boris was looking over at me, I smiled. I let Maya lead me to her bedroom, locking the door behind us. I hear Boris banging on the door as Maya undresses. The next morning, Maya is in my arms. I dont remember anything but I know I am about to throw up. I get up, running to her bathroom. I throw up as I anticipated, luckily not missing. All of a sudden, I remember everything.