Pride and Hate with Benefits [COMPLETED]

Chapter 44 - Declarations

Ellie

As the class draws to an end, I'm still steaming from my encounter with Mia. There's something about her that just rubs me the wrong way. But what hurts the most is that now I'm thinking D might have been lying to me.

If Mia was telling the truth and they are engaged, does that mean I was a sidepiece? Was he cheating on her with me? I find that hard to believe, but what if he was?

I shake my head and try to focus on the last few minutes.

When people pack up, I'm lost again. I take a breath and put away my laptop. My notes make no sense. I'm going to have to ask someone for their notes.

I put my jacket on and grab my bag. It's the last class of the day, but Jenna won't be around to analyze the encounter with me until later. I'm so happy for her and Julian, but right now, I need her.

I bring out my phone as I leave the room and debate calling her.

Something makes me look up. I scan the corridor. D is standing a few steps away. He's breathing heavily and staring straight at me.

I freeze, but someone behind me nudges me forward and I'm standing right in front of him.

His mouth moves, but no words come out. Why is he even here? Maybe it's for class? Maybe he's meeting someone else? Mia perhaps?

I tear my eyes away and take a step away.

"Wait." He sounds pleading. I stop.

He says nothing else. I glance over. He's not wearing a coat. His skin is red where it's exposed.

"I meant to thank you," I say finally. "For helping Lydia. I'm not sure what you did, but she says they dropped the charges. So thank you. I really appreciate it. I don't know how much the lawyer cost, but if we owe you for it, maybe we can come up with some sort of payment plan."

"Fuck the lawyer. I don't care about that."

"Oh." I clutch the strap of my bag.

"I know you explained things to Julian."

I nod.

"He... He's really happy to have another chance."

"Ok." There's a question in his eyes, but I don't know what to think.

"So, thank you. For talking to her."

"Mhm, I explained everything to her." I feel awkward. The man that broke my heart is standing in front of me, and I don't know what to do.

"I was wrong." he takes a small step closer.

"Wrong?"

"I never should have interfered in Julian's love life. In his life. I saw a shy woman, and I heard someone say she wanted to marry someone with money-"

"That's because of the golddigger that married her father. It broke his heart, and she swore she would never fall for anyone that only wanted her for her money."

He nods. "I know. I know that now. And I should have asked. I shouldn't have assumed. I let my fears take over. But I'm really glad they get a second chance."

He's only wearing a t-shirt. With a strange logo on it. I'm trying to decipher if it's a band.

Why is he here? Should I leave? Being so close and not being with him is painful.

"I thought my feelings would go away," he says so quickly he almost stumbles on the words. "That it was temporary, that if I was respectful and stayed away like you wanted me to, then it would all disappear. I tried so hard, Ellie. I tried so hard to get over you. I really did. But I heard about what Mia said to you and I need to know. Because I don't know if I can keep this up."

I stare at him as my heart rate increases. His eyes are dark and intense. He takes my breath away.

"It doesn't really matter, though," he says and my heart sinks. "It doesn't matter because no matter what you say, I can't get you out of my mind. But I have to know if you meant it."

"If... If I meant what?"

"You refused to promise Mia that nothing would happen between the two of us? What did you mean?"

I blush. "I..." Someone walks between us and he takes another step forward. "I was wrong about a lot of things."

He grabs my arm and pulls me to the side, out of the path of the other students. I think I'm reading him right. But all sense of reasoning seems to leave me when it comes to D.

"Do... Does Jenna hate me?"

I shake my head. "She could never." I could never.

"I shouldn't have let Victor anywhere near you or your family. I should have come clean straight away and warned you. If I had, he never would have been able to trick Lydia."

I nod. But I don't hold him responsible. "I should have told her."

"Does this mean that you believe me? About everything?"

"There's one thing I need to know. Something Mia said."

He inhales.

"She mentioned you were engaged. Is that true?"

"No. Absolutely not. That was something she made up when we were kids and I didn't know about it until today. I have never asked her to marry me and as far as I know, I have never implied I would marry her. Apart from once when I was eleven."

I believe him. He looks so sincere. When he opens his mouth to speak, I hold up a hand.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking since Christmas."

He swallows hard and waits for me to speak.

"And I've come to some realizations."

"What?" It's a whisper, full of uncertainty.

"I realized that my feelings for you have changed. I think maybe they changed long before Christmas and I was just trying to cling to our original agreement. But, by then, it wasn't just about sex."

His breathing is faster. "What does that mean?"

"It means... Well, it means... that I..."

"Ellie, do you have feelings for me?"

Our eyes meet and it seems like the hardest and easiest thing in the world to say: "Yes."

There's confusion on his face. Then he smiles. "Really?"

I nod. "Yes, I'm not sure when, but that night when we woke up together, that's when I knew I loved you."

His hands take my upper arms and hold me close as he looks down at me. "Ellie, I love you."

His mouth covers mine and I feel a tear running down my cheek as he gently kisses me and holds me.

He pulls his head back and wipes at a tear with his thumb. "Ellie?"

I shake my head. "Just kiss me again."

He does. I place my arms around his neck, and our tongues meet in a wonderful, gentle dance.

"God, I missed kissing you," he groans.

I laugh and wipe my cheek. He leans in again, but I place a hand on his chest. Around us, people are staring. "Maybe not here."

"Wherever you want, babe," he puts his arm around my shoulders and we walk toward the exit.

"You're not wearing a jacket?"

"I was in a hurry to get here. Mia told me what you said, and I thought that maybe that meant I had a chance, so I came as soon as I could."

"You must be so cold." I remove my scarf and wrap it around his neck.

"Not with you keeping me warm."

"I guess that's what I have to do, then." I smile up at him and I never want to stop.

"So." He hesitates. "Do you want to come to my place?"

I nod. "Yes. I do."