Tainted, Book One: Possessed

20. Today is Good

Kerry

I skipped on Wednesday to make sure I was chill enough to be safe. When I went back the next day, the morning went pretty good. I even managed a little chat with John Morgen before gym.

Then me and Jax picked up Gemma and set out on a new trail that went around a pond. Like I did before, I ranged all over, content to catch glimpses of her as she walked with Jax.

Twenty minutes into it, he called me over to see a wood turtle. Its shell was an amazing mix of browns and yellows, and my fingers itched to draw it. I wondered how much shading I'd need to do to get the texture right.

Then Jax got me moving again by saying there might be more animals at the pond. This time, I stayed with them.

"Jax said you eat lunch at home every day." Gemma walked next to me. "You can eat with us anytime you want. And we don't need to eat in the cafeteria. There are outside tables we could use while the weather is nice like this."

"I eat at the cottage with Warden." I put some space between us, uncomfortable.

"All right. I wanted you to know you're always welcome to join us, that's all." She gave me a tiny smile. "Does Hank give you lessons at lunch?"

I started to shut down.

"I wanna go back now," I muttered. "I don't wanna see the pond anymore."

"What? But you were so excited—"

"I said I wanna go back now!"

"Okay, okay." She held up her hands. "Whatever you want."

"What upset you?" Jax crossed his arms and frowned at me. "Are you embarrassed about something? You don't need to be. It's just us."

"No. It's nothing."

His power wrapped around me and squeezed. I fought it, but he had me locked down good and tight. Bad memories stirred. Too many times had I been a slave to another's voice. Too many times had my body been outta my control.

Angry now, I searched for a weak spot so I could hammer my way free.

"I don't remember how to use a spoon or fork." He drew the words outta my mouth. "And I cut myself with the knife. Most of the time, I end up spilling my drink, too. Happy now, to know how dumb I am?"

"You're not dumb." Gemma used that tone, which only made me madder. "It's something you have to relearn."

"I think it's more than that." Jax narrowed his eyes at me, and I glared back. "You could eat a sandwich. No utensils needed there. So what else?"

Gemma touched my wrist. It wasn't the first time she'd done that, so it didn't startle me as much as it once would have.

"Maybe I can help," she said.

"I don't need any help! From you or anyone else!"

I fought against Jax for real now, and sweat broke out on his forehead. I smiled darkly. Oh, yeah. With enough time, I could bust my way free. Then he'd be missing some teeth.

"Jax, don't force him. Please. Let him go."

I guessed he listened because the rusty orange cloud around me disappeared and I could move. Before I could go after Jax, Gemma slid her hand down until her fingers touched the back of my knuckles. I glanced down at her.

Huge mistake. Her emerald eyes sucked me in.

"It's okay. I promise." Her voice was mild as milk. "No one's going to make you do anything. You don't have to eat with us. You don't have to tell us anything. I only wanted you to know you're welcome to hang out with us. Whenever you want."