(Silently Drowning Series - Book Two)
Maybe that's it. We eventually go numb; because you can't break a heart that's already broken.
Maxwell Augustus; A boy who has seen nothing but hatred, yet somehow he's filled with so much love. Covered in scar...
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Romeo Ferrari
"Almost every ongoing problem in our lives is stemmed in an unwillingness to feel. When we are unwilling to feel the depth of everything that is in us, we are also unwilling to see our lives for what they are. If we had the courage to feel our dissatisfaction, we would know that something needed to change.
If we had the courage to feel our emptiness, we would know that we had to find a way to fill it. If we had the courage to feel our fear, we would know what we care about and what we want to protect. If we had the courage to feel vulnerable, we would be able to show up in ways that we never have before. If we were willing to first see our lives for what they really are, we would know what we needed to do to really live them." ~ Brianna Wiest
"All set." I state in a tone that almost seemed cold.
Truthfully this is the eight time I stitched Lorenzo up this week — I'm quite sick of it.
'Family' isn't defined only by last names or by blood we may share but rather it's defined by commitment and love.
Now that I think about it... I don't think he's ever shown me love.
It's not like he purposely acted out of hate but I don't recall a time I could look back and think 'yes my eldest brother loves me'.
Even as kids... Way before the polish took our papa and killed our mama...
I can't remember a time when I felt genuine love, at least not from him.
Lorenzo loved Alessia. He loved Alessandro... I don't think he ever loved me.
Family should be the place where we feel like we can just be ourselves without the fear of being judged. I never felt that was with Enzo.
Where we feel accepted, appreciated, seen, and valued, even in moments of disagreement. I never felt that way with Lorenzo. It should be your soft place to fall when you are at your absolute fucking lowest. I never felt that way with Lorenzo.
The one place where you are reminded that no matter what happens you will never face those challenges alone. That no matter what you are loved.
I have felt that way with my entire family...
Except for Lorenzo.
I may not know what it's like to be in love, but I know what it's like to love my family and friends.
We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's so simple for most people, except for me apparently.
