𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒯𝓌𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓎-𝒮𝒾𝓍

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Song: I deserve to bleed by Sushi Soucy

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Maxwell Augustus

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Maxwell Augustus

I fucking hate myself.

I fucking hate that I love it.

I love the small sliver piercing my skin, turning my pale skin red.

I love watching the crimson liquid dripping down my finger, leaving little spots on the tile.

It's honestly quite stupid when you think about it from an outside perspective, in order to cope with the never ending pain... You cause yourself more pain.

I remember when I was in school we had to learn about things like depression, anorexia, self-harm, and anxiety in health class, I remember looking around to the shocked faces of the kids that could never imagine a life like that, all while pulling my sleeves down over my hands to conceal the little cuts I had left on the top of the skin on the same hands just earlier that morning.

I remember the teacher, who I can't remember the name of for the life of me, telling us that somebody cares and the counselors would always be available if you needed it.

I remember thinking it was all bullshit.

Nobody cares about the kid with long sleeves during the hottest days of the year.

Nobody cares about the kid that kept his hood up to conceal his bruise covered face.

Nobody cares about the kid that has hardly spoken a word in the four years he's been stuck in the school, filled with people that don't care.

As long as you say the right things and you do the right things, they're happy.

Who cares about the aftermath of kids like us.

Something deep inside me knows it's going to get worse. The abuse isn't going to just stop one day.

I know that.

I also don't think I can handle this on my own anymore.

Megan plans to tell Romeo anyway, I only think she hasn't because she doesn't want to stress me out but she never backs down from anything she says, so just because she has't doesn't mean she won't.

I might as well tell him first... Right?

**

"Are you okay? You've been awfully quiet today." Romeo suddenly asks as he passes me a fruit punch juice box from his mini fridge.

"Um... Yeah... Can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course, what's going o-" Suddenly his soothing voice was interrupted by the annoying sound of his phone ringing, maybe this is a sign, "It's my father... It's fine, I'll call him back later.."

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