Heart of the Wolf Prince

Chapter 28(b)

The moment I made it out the dining room, I went straight back to my room. I have been anxiously waiting for hours now, intermittently getting up to practice my fire magic when the tension gets too much.

I'm waiting for Kohl. I am certain he will show up. But when the sun sinks below the horizon, and there's still no sign of him, I snap. I crash out of my room and stampede up the stairs to his quarters, not caring who sees. My heart thunders a war tune in my chest, and a sinking feeling in my stomach tells me I am not about to like this interaction.

I get to his door within a minute. I knock three times, and when no one answers, I open it and let myself in any way.

Kohl is standing in the centre, staring at the door as though he expected someone. When his eyes land on me, despair washes through them, as though I was the last person he wanted to walk through.

The sight makes my heart lurch with desperation. "Kohl."

"You shouldn't be here, Naomi," he says firmly.

Those five words crush what little hope I had. For a few moments, I am too stunned to form words. "Kohl," I say. "You cannot be serious right now. One elusive threat from your father and you—"

"That wasn't just any threat, Naomi, that was a threat to your life," he snaps, taking a step forward. My body tenses with the desire to run into his arms, to wring comfort out of him, but I ball my fists and remain rooted to the spot.

"I don't care, Kohl. You were willing to risk your life for us, and here I am willing to do the same thing—"

"It's not the same."

"You said you would fight for us. You promised!" I yell. The backs of my eyes burn. I can't believe what he's saying.

He shakes his head. "That was before he threatened you. You don't know my father like I do, Naomi. He would draw out the torture for days. Weeks. He'd break you apart bit by bit before finally taking your life with a killing blow, but by that point, you may as well be dead anyway. I'm not going to be the reason that happens to you!"

"So that's it? You're giving up on us because your father doesn't approve?"

Kohl shakes his head with a frustrated sigh. He looks tormented, as though this is paining him as much as it's paining me. "No, Naomi, I'm not. It's just... gah, I don't know. I just need time to think."

His words dagger through my heart. I don't know. That's the status of what we are. A mystery. A maybe. Something fractures in my chest. Somehow, I get the feeling we're about to end something that never really started in the first place.

Overwhelmed, I do the only thing I can do. I rush over to him. I have to touch him, have to show him that this is the wrong choice, that we can get through this if we just...

He steps out of my reach, the motion seeming to pain him. "No, Naomi. You can't touch me. I can't risk you getting caught."

"God damnit, Kohl, I don't give a fuck!"

"Yeah? Well I do. And I sure as shit won't be the reason your head ends up on a pike!"

His anger feels like a slap to the face. For a few moments, we just stare at each other. This is the first time he's properly yelled at me in a while. Hell, one complication and suddenly our whole damn relationship is falling apart!

Kohl turns away. I'm glad he does, so he doesn't see the tears that escape my eyes. I whirl on my heel and storm for the door. Everything hurts. I'm in so much damn pain. And yet I cannot deny my desire to yell; to scream and kick and rage. I hold on to that anger as I storm from his rooms and down the stairs, desperate to feel anything but the yawning pit of despair that's opening up in my chest. The thing is, Kohl didn't even commit to ending things with me. Which means I'm going to be stuck in a stupid fucking emotional limbo in believing that maybe this is salvable. That there is hope -- only for it to be crushed in the end anyway.