Dr. Sykes (Nathan Sykes Fanfic)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Nathan's POV

1 Month Later

I walked into work feeling the same I had been feeling this whole month, like shit. I tried not to let my personal issues carry over into work but honestly it was difficult when you were in love and the woman you loved hated your guts. We had worked together a few times the last few weeks because we had to but she wouldn't even look at me. When I addressed her she didn't look at me even when it was medically concerned. She would answer clear and concise and honestly like a robot with no feelings. I couldn't blame her really because I hurt her badly.  I hated myself for doing it even if I thought I was being noble and trying to protect her. It was moot to trying to protect her because I had hurt her more than she would have been if I would have stood by her side and stayed strong as a couple but I let the chief and everyone else that would have been against this win.

I had even tried talking to her about why I did it and she wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. As soon as I opened my mouth she shut me down. She said if it wasn't work related she didn't care.

All I've done this last month is go to work and go home. I never went too many places before I met her but I would hang out with a few friends from college and stuff here and there but not since she left. Correction, I left. My friends called and stopped by but I wanted nothing to do with it. I told them about Cora and they told me that I'd get over her and she was just a passing fling and rebound. She wasn't though and I knew I wouldn't get over her. She was everything I needed or wanted. I sent her flowers and even watched her receive them and as soon as she read they were from me she dumped them in the trash at work.

I was running out of ideas because she wouldn't listen or talk to me, she didn't want to see me, flowers didn't work, and a note surely wouldn't because she wouldn't read it. She wouldn't even talk to Jenna about me or listen to her.

I was beginning to think there was no hope. I had to see her about every day and it was agony. Her eyes the beautiful hazel color was still there but there was no life in them. I took that life. I'm fucking pathetic.

"Hey Dr. Sykes how are you this fine morning?" Chief  Lewis  greeted me. I just kind of mumbled. He just looked at me and I turned to walk away. I couldn't deal with any of it today. It was a bad day.

That's when I saw her at the nurses' station. She was beautiful as ever. I walked up to her and Jenna was talking to her and she stopped. I cleared my throat. "Dr. Matthews, can I please talk to you for a minute?"

She looked in my general direction as she turned around. She grimaced. "Fine, what is it?"

"Well I just wanted to say how beautiful you look today. You always do but just thought I'd tell you again. I miss the way your eyes used to shine." As soon as I said that she actually looked at me. She looked at me directly in my eyes for the first time in a month. My heart lurched forward. When I thought I would get an inch she pulled back.

"Thank you but you're the one who snuffed the shine out of them so that means nothing to me." With that she spun and walked away. It was like my heart broke all over again.

Debby one of the nurses who I had talked to about it all one night when she saw Cora throw my flowers away said, "Don't worry doctor she will come around."

I wasn't sure anymore. "I don't know anymore. She just looked at me for the first time in a month and just broke my heart all over again but I deserved it and much worse." Jenna interjected. "Look I'll try to talk to her again. I just have to catch her off guard to work it in. I know she still loves you."

"How do you know?" Jenna gave me that look like, "why wouldn't I know?"

"I know because she ends up mentioning you every once in a while without even realizing it non work related and the look on her face shows me that she still loves and wants you. She doesn't believe when I tell her what you tried to do but it got fucked up but I think it's because it's easier for her to paint you as the bad guy than to actually admit that she's completely in love with you and that as messed up as the situation and outcome was your heart was in the right place. It doesn't excuse what you did or said but I get it. I was terrible to her and she forgave me and she was closer to you than me. Give it time." She touched my shoulder in comfort as she left.

The day went slow as usual. I was ending my day when the chief called me into his office. "Dr. Sykes, I need to talk to you. Please sit."

I sat down. "What is it chief?"

"Well I have been thinking about the last few weeks and every time I see you, you don't seem to have any pep like you used to. What has gotten into you? I mean your work is still impeccable don't get me wrong there but you have become the downer of the hospital and you know I want to keep morale up here and I want my employees happy."

I sighed inwardly and out loud. "Do you care that your employees are actually happy?"

"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

"Well a month ago you gave me and Dr. Matthews a choice to either end it or get fired and basically you threatened her reputation."

"I never threatened her reputation or your jobs. I simply stated that I could not allow an intern to be having relations with a superior. It's morally wrong and it is frowned upon by the board. I wish for this hospital to be run as smoothly as possible and not have feelings involved."

"That's rich considering Dr. Flemming in pediatrics was dating and now married to Dr. Cross. Janet the nurse is fucking anyone she pleases here, and you and your wife met here and got married. So why are those special cases and me and Cora's relationship is not?"

"As for Dr. Flemming and Dr. Cross they have been married before I became chief. My wife and I married also before I became chief and as for Janet I knew nothing of her escapades with the staff but I will look into it. You and Cora well that's a different case because I am chief now and I do not want an intern with her superior. It looks bad for the hospital and on Cora."

"Why doesn't it look bad on me as well as her?"

"She's a woman and most people see her as the young and hungry intern ready to do anything to get to the top and she will be pegged as such if she were screwing her superior."

"So because she's a woman that makes it different? That's bullshit and I was more at fault than her in this. I pursued her more."

"It doesn't matter in most cases. All they will see is her trying to get ahead at work. Her superior takes advantage of the situation but as a man you wouldn't get half the crap she would or that she has. I've noticed since everything happened people talk and I have heard some things. Most of the blame in a lot of people's eyes is on her."

I gave him a whatever kind of look. "Why does it matter anyway about special cases or not? As I heard it, you were just messing around having fun. I heard that you told her you never loved her so why do you care so much about one girl?"

"Listen she's not just some girl. She's a woman and a special one at that. I lied to her. I did love her. I do love her. I've never met anyone like her. She's intelligent, beautiful, funny and caring. I was trying to save her career by pushing her away because you said it was either we end it or she was fired. I didn't care about my job at that time. I wanted her to succeed. She was just starting out and she didn't need that shit following her. I wanted her happy and to have an amazing career. I made her hate me because I was trying to do the right thing. At least I thought it was the right thing. I could live with her hating me forever if it meant she was happy but I can see she's not. I'm not either. I need her. She is my everything. I was happy with her. I laughed, joked and loved with her. She was never some random fuck. She was mine and I was hers. You were the root of our fall and I just kicked the last pillar and made it official. She won't even look at me because of you making me choose. I can't live a happy life without her. What I have done to her is the cruelest thing someone could do because every night since then all I've wanted was to kiss her and tell her I love her. I can't have that now because of you and myself so now I've come to a decision that I didn't think I'd make but I quit! I can't be here and win her back and I will! I will prove to her how much I love her!"

The chief stood and was about to say something when Cora walked in. "NO Nathan you can't quit!"