Smile. - c.l.

- 9 -

As much as I love Jules and always will. I do not want to do today. The anniversary of his death is one of the hardest days. Everything replays in my head on this day. From seeing the crash and rushing to Japan after my dad telling us to fly out immediately. Jules had surgery and went into a coma so when we got there he was alive, technically but yet barely. Eventually they flew him back to Nice, France and he was in the hospital there. He stayed like that for 9 months. Some days looking hopeful, some days looking like he would've been leaving us in hours. I hated seeing him in the state he was but you could tell how hard he was fighting. You could look at the machines and see he could feel when we would touch his hand or talk to him. There was very very small connections firing off in his brain at the beginning until eventually there was none.

I can remember the screams of his mom and sister. How my dad would barely eat and could barely work. Same with Phillipe and Eric both.

The funeral was clear as day to me. Like it was yesterday. I remembered the hundreds of thousands of fans and press. This was when I really understood how loved and appreciated Jules was outside of the personal friends and family bubble. There were people from all over the world. All news stations covering it. All drivers were in attendance, staff, family, everyone. It was a packed day. It always threw me off how there were thousands of people yet but it was like you were alone. Very quiet, calm, it was ominous and you could just feel the sadness in the air.

I can hear his moms voice shaking uncontrollably as she tried to give a speech in French.

"My baby! My baby!" Was I could hear for days following. Jules passing was very traumatizing and it was for everyone but now he has his godson doing what he wanted to do, in his honor.

"Lana! Mila! Benji!" My mom yelled. Her, my dad, Phillipe, Elena were all ready to go.

"Cat! Eric! Let's go!" Dad added. We grabbed our last things like our purses and phones and then headed out. We all had drivers to keep everything organized.

We hopped into the awaiting cars and headed off to Nice which was a 45 minute to 1 hour drive so not very far. I'd been texting Charles secretly all morning and updating Mila on stuff with him and I. She leaves late tonight unfortunately. Worst day for her to leave.

Charles🤍-
I'll see you soon beautiful. Hope you're ok :)

Me-
I am thank you, well see if it stays that way haha see ya soon.

When we pulled up to the church, it was like that specific day again. I felt like I was 14 again. My mind flashing between the funeral 10 years ago and present day. The amount of people attending today was what I would say, more than the funeral. More fans. More press. As time went on and Jules had a legacy made, more people started love him. You could love him even after he was gone.

As soon as one of the assistants helping opened the door it wasn't silent but it was still pretty quiet. Still very respectful to the fact that this may not be a funeral, but still a memorial service.

We all gathered together after getting out of the 2 cars that took us. At the same time Romain Grosjean and his wife arrived. Charles family arrived with his family and the Ferrari higher ups, etc. Eventually the entire F1 staff and community, friends and family of Jules were all packed into the small cathedral. Flashbacks of the funeral service coming back. I was in the 3rd row on the edge. Very close to the front, that's exactly where I was this time.

I hadn't been back to the church since that day but this was where Charles and I planned to be wed. All because of the connection of Jules and this being where we sent him off. I felt a hand on my shoulder, then a few more. Kelly, Kika, Lily were all behind me rubbing my shoulder and back. I noticed I was just slumped over looking down at the floor. Numb.