Borrowed Time

Chapter 118

Out of all of the tables and desks in the entire school, Juliette's English classroom had the best one to nap on. She'd tested that theory and she was currently using it to its fullest extent while she waited for Carly to get to class... Even a little nap might help her recharge, she just needed a few minutes to herself...

But no such luck. She felt a tap on her shoulder and smelt Carly's perfume not even a minute later and lifted her head with a groan. Damn her.

"Hey killer... How are you today? You look tired." Carly said, throwing her legs over Juliette's lap when she sat down. Juliette sighed and rested a hand against her calf, nodding as she did... She was very tired.

"I'm exhausted... There's just been a lot of revelations recently and I need like... A four month fucking vacation from this place, you know?" She asked, and Carly chuckled and nodded, leaning up to squeeze her arm.

"Oh yeah... But unfortunately, we need you here." Juliette rolled her eyes at that and sighed again... No. She was so tired of people needing her, she wanted to fade into obscurity so that she could get a break from the world for a minute. It would help, she was sure of it.

"I am so deeply sick of people needing me, Carls." She mumbled, watching Carly give her a soft, worried look as she nodded. Obviously she knew that, Juliette was sure that all of her friends were aware of how tired she was of everything at this point... She needed life to stop treating her like she was god's personal fucking jester just for a little bit.

"I know... You do have a lot of people who seem to rely on you, I can't imagine how exhausting that really is." It was fucking exhausting, and now that she wasn't too stressed to think about how much she was overcommitted to things, she was tired all the damn time... and this shit with Dale was wearing her down, as well as learning that Esme had gone thorugh even more than what she'd thought they'd gone through... The trickle never stopped.

"It's so fucking tiring dude, I can't even begin to describe how it makes me feel... Like I used to like being of service to people because at least they saw me then, you know? But now that I've got so many people around who care... I don't have the energy anymore." She admitted, hating saying that out loud... SHe knew it wasn't healthy, but there was still a small voice in her brain that told her that if she wasn't of service to everyone all the time, she wasn't worth a damn thing and should just give up.

... That was something that her therapist did not like hearing at their last session, but she was mostly just worried that the meds weren't helping as much as they were supposed to be, which was probably true... But she was scared to switch again, she didn't want to suffer adverse side effects, so she was choosing to stick with half working meds.

"And that's completely valid." She squeezed Juliette's arm again. "Burnout was inevitable with everything you were going through." Shut up, don't make me cry... She couldn't do it, she didn't know how people dealt with kindness and people acknowledging that life was hard... It almost always made her emotional.

"It's only January, I cannot be burnt out yet, I've still got shit I need to be doing." Juliette said, her tone completely flat. Carly grimaced and nodded, like she emphasized... and she probably did. They were all tired at this point, she was sure of it.

"Well, you've gotta deal with that unfortunately... Sorry." Carly said, and Juliette chuckled and nodded... Yeah, she knew that. She knew how to push through even when she felt like she could collapse at any given moment, it was kind of her whole thing.

"It's all good." She gave Carly a smile... None of this was something that she needed to worry about. "Not your fault, right?" She asked, and Carly nodded.