Embracing My Shadow

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TW: Survivor Guilt

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Shadows,

Some are visible, some are not

Some believable, some not

Some haunt you, some do not.


Some created by the sun,

Following you as you run,

Some are invisible,

Some are unexplainable


So which follows me?


The shadows of my past,

Something I thought had passed,

Something that haunts me,

Ever since that fatal day.


I can see things others cannot,

Beings from a realm that is beyond ours,

A realm that only shows after hours,

The spirit realm


I can see the shadows,

Shadows of my family,

Shadows of people lost,

On that fatal day.


They tell me things,

Things I knew,

Yet did not want to hear.
"Why did you survive."

I ran for so long

Blocking them out,

Covering my eyes and ears,

Maybe it's time to embrace the past


I cannot change the past.

I do not know why I survived,

Why I was lucky,

Why it was only me


One by one,

I embraced them.

The insecurities, fears, the guilt

In the form of those lost.


One by one,

They disappeared.

Told me I was lucky,

That I should continue to live.


Day by day,

My shadow stayed,

But no longer was it scary,

No longer did it make me feel guilty.


Day by day,

My shadow stayed,

Now it was comforting,

Telling me to embrace my life.


Finally,

My past no longer haunted me,
Instead, it made me stronger.



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