I swear I hate you

• I wish we hadn't met •

Smut is on "tension rises between two acquaintances" for those who only read for that stuff :/

(A/N: thanks so much for choosing this story!! Hope you enjoy)
TW: angst

Setting: a bar in Yokohama
Timeframe: after Dazai left
Chuuya's pov:
The world was crashing down around me. All the despair I had been suppressing returned. It was a crushing weight, as if I was being smashed by a boulder.

How could I have even fell for his shitty act. That tall ass. He just had to break my heart. Again.

I wished I hadn't ever met him. I should've never even taken up his offer to join the mafia in the first place.

I should be with the sheep right now...
But even they had betrayed me. Fucking assholes. They could all burn as far as I cared.

I took another swig of my liquor. I was tired of that mackerel's shit. I opened my phone and shot him a text. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!? BANDAGE SQUANDERING DEVICE!"

There was no response. I grumbled in annoyance and just took another swig of liquor. My life was shitty enough as is. At least he wouldn't be around to stink it up with his...

There weren't enough words in the English language to describe how fucking... annoying he was.

I was about to take another drink of my liquor when a large explosion sounded.
"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

I turned around to face the bar door. My car was gone. Completely decimated.

I let out an insane laugh. This was my breaking point. Shitty Dazai had left. The sheep were gone. And I was stuck in the mafia. Plus that was a nice car.

I suddenly understood why Dazai tried to kill himself so often. But killing myself wasn't an option.

I was going to live long enough so I could beat his ass.

~•*•*•*•~
(Time skip)
Chuuya pov:
My room was a mess. It was as If shitty Dazai couldn't help but spite me by blowing up my car, he just had to mess up my room.

Wait. He had been in my room.

I dashed over to my wine stash.

"YOU FUCKING SUICIDAL MANIAC!!"
I exclaimed angrily. Every single precious bottle of wine was broken.
"MY VINE!!"
Of course the mackerel just HAD to fuck with me as much as he could.

That crushing misery felt every more present, and I pushed it away. I couldn't afford to cry now.

I started tidying up my room to give myself something to do. I ignored the voice in the back of my head that told me to just light the whole damn apartment on fire. I could still smell traces of his cologne in the air where he had probably taken his time fucking up my precious organization system.

"Fuckin hell..."
I muttered. I wished I hadn't met him. The hopeless feeling threatened to consume me and I just punched a wall to try and just express that empty feeling that seemed to be dead set on ruining me.

I took a deep breath and accidentally inhaled more of his cologne. Because of course he had thought of every goddamn way to annoy me.

I tried to calm myself but the boiling rage coupled with the hopeless misery that seemed to be weighing down on me just made me want to scream in anger. I wanted to rip the world apart.

This all consuming anger was getting scarily close to snapping my control. I wasn't about to rip my whole apartment apart with my ability.

I forced myself to move and put on music. Even though I didn't like it, I put on some piano music. I hoped on god that those music theory things were right and this would calm me down.

But as a god myself there was no one I could pray to. So what was I left with? Lady Luck.

I started cleaning my apartment, breathing through my mouth so I didn't have to inhale those faint traces of his cologne. It smelled like vanilla coffee. It smelled like a fucking mackerel. I hated him.

~•*•*•*•~
Chuuya pov:
My apartment was finally clean. All I had left was the bathroom. But I was avoiding it. I didn't want to look in the mirror.

I knew what I looked like. A pathetic wretch. That goddamn mackerel just had to ruin my life didn't he.

The piano music had calmed me down somewhat, but now I felt more suppressed and depressed than anything.

(A/N: my motto Fr)

I could've sworn the world was covered in a monotone film. Every time I pictured shitty Dazai's face though, I could see red. I was about to kill him.

A thought then occurred to me. I didn't even know where the hell he was.

That thought alone angered me, and I had to physically restrain myself from punching the wall again. I had already punched a hole straight through the wall and that was expensive. I needed to calm the hell down.

But then again, I was too pissed to think straight. The urge to burn the world down was growing, and my ability was threatening to release itself. Not that I'd let that happen. I was a good person...

Right?

(A/N:)
Excuse me for any errors I made along the way! I absolutely love trying to express uncontrollable rage in characters :)
(Btw this is my beginning chapter so they get longer from here)