I swear I hate you

•recuperation•

(A/N:) hey guys it's me! The author. So uhhh... I haven't updated this in awhile duh. It's mostly cause I forgot I was writing this but I have randomly rediscovered it and have decided to write again!!

Anyways, let us get in to the story.

~•*•*•*•~
Setting: Dazai's apartment
Timeframe: 1 day after the "incident"
Third person pov:

Osamu dazai was a man who liked to remain in control of a situation.

And he wasn't prone to holding back to when it came to being in control. He was a man who was willing to go great lengths. He hated being under the control of someone else.

This was simply in his nature after all.

Anyone who knew him surface level would all say something different about him. This is one of his goals.

His form of manipulation was convoluted, hard to understand, and would seem like an inexplicable web of tangled lies to anyone who wasn't Dazai.

Despite it all, he was, perpetually lonely. He wasn't sure who he was anymore after putting on so many masks.

Of course he could make friends. He could get any woman he wanted if he tried hard enough. Not that he really had to try.

But he would never really get that connection that was only human to crave.

He was, after all, no longer human.

What he was is a manipulator, a detective, and, as he would dare say himself, a mastermind.

So why  was this man, osamu Dazai of many faces, at a loss at what to do. Why was he, someone who had no need for human attachments (in his own opinion) so desperate to understand another person.

Dazai had made a mistake. He should never have gotten close to Nakahara Chuuya.

And it's not that the sex had been bad. It was great in his own opinion. But...

That wasn't the problem. Dazai had let it happen. Chuuya would have expectations now.

He would have to explain to Chuuya everything that he didn't love him. Because he, osamu Dazai, was not allowed that. He just hurt everyone he loved.

It was in his nature after all. He pushed everyone away who tried to be his friend.

He would manage the relationship for as long as he could before well... he just couldn't. He would get bored of people.

It was too easy to predict their responses. He'd heard all the stories, he knew all their quirks, he knew most of their secrets.

Most people would say at this point they'd have a great friend. But Dazai, to him, this was the point where he grew bored.

What was the point to being friends with anyone if you knew everything about them after all?

Perhaps Dazai refused to consider that people were more complicated than that.

Such a predicament he had gotten himself in.

...

And the predicament was Chuuya. Because Dazai had never wanted anything more than to understand Chuuya. For as long as they'd known eachother, Dazai was constantly surprised by him.

Every time Dazai though he'd get bored of the little ginger, something new would come out about him.

And it was ever more frustrating because Chuuya never fell for the masks Dazai put on.

For example. Dazai had tried being funny around Chuuya. Faking smiles. Telling jokes that seemed to make the general populous he knew laugh.

Chuuya had simply gave him a strange look.
"Don't fake that shit around me."
He had said with a sigh.