I swear I hate you

•in which dazai realizes he has a problem•

(A/N: sorta smut warning! Just skip the last part of the chapter. I'll put a second warning ahead of time)

~•*•*•*•~
Setting: A random beach in Yokohama
Timeframe: a week after the security room incident.
Dazai's pov:

I was stuck in an oil drum again. Last time kunikida had saved me but only because I promised I'd finish my paperwork.

So of course I didn't do any of it.

But this was painful! I was VERY stuck right now. I only wanted to do this to forget about the look on Chuuya's face that reminded me too much of my own past.

He wasn't that upset I'd left him.. was he?
Damn.

I looked up at the sky, praying to Oda someone would come and get me out. An angel would be nice.

My spine made a strange sound and I winced painfully. Now I liked the idea of suicide just not pain.

Pain was painful!

I sighed and tried to push myself out of the oil drum, only to get more stuck.

A loud crash is sounded
"Wha-"
I looked around the best I could , confused.

Along the beach, running top speed in nothing but swim trunks... was...

Oh fuckkkk...

I squinted. The figure was too short to see quite yet. Oh. I knew who it was. That orange hair...

"DAMNN YOU!!"
Chuuya shouted angrily over the crashing waves of the beach.
It was the first time I'd seen him in two weeks...

And he was in nothing but swim trunks as far as I could see. Now that's what I'd call a snack.

He was running towards me so fast, sand was flying behind him. Uh oh.

I sank lower into the oil drum and winced. This hurt like hell.... Aw goddamnit why did I like that?

Chuuya ran up to me, sliding to a halt. his expression was furious.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING MACKEREL???"
Chuuya yelled angrily, his eye twitching.

"Killing myself. Is that a problem?"
I asked curiously.
"Though it does hurt. Can you help me out?"

Chuuya looked at me with an unreadable expression, his blue eyes searching my face.
"Don't you wanna die?"

I considered his question before responding nonchalantly.
"Don't you wanna kill me?"

Chuuya glared at me and pushed the oil barrel over, letting me out. I was greeted with a generous view of him and nothing but swim trunks.

I bit my lip. Damn he was so fine-

"STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT, PERVERT!"
Chuuya yelled angrily, kicking me in the stomach.

I paused
"Chuuya I have something very important to tell you."

He gave me a dead serious look.

"A neighbor lost one of his garden gnomes, are you sure it's not you? You're about the right size-"

He cut me off with a glare that promised violence.

"I will give you five seconds to run."
He kicked me in the stomach hard and I fell backwards.

I winced as I fell into the warm sand.