ELEVEN

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Arghh

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Arghh. Why is it paining so much. My head is hurting like hell as if someone is hitting me with a hammer. I checked the time it was 1.30 am. Oh god..what's wrong? I came home by 10.45 and-

Birthday, Results, Father, Taunts.

As soon as I recalled everything all the memories rushed through my mind and a wave of tremor ran down towards my spine making me wince with pain.

I grabbed a fistful of hairs with both my hands, pulling them with all the force I have and muffled my scream with a pillow.

My headache increased when more tears made their way from my eyes to my cheeks. Its hard to breathe, I cannot breath, I mumbled to myself as I gasped taking a huge amount of air in, but it didn't helped.

I kept breathing in, gasping for air as my chest heaved up and down so fast but it was all in vain. I couldn't gather an ounce of oxygen to fill my lungs or calm me down.

Come on Avantika. Breathe. It's okay. You can get through this like you did always. I kept chanting this in my mind but it didn't work.

Suddenly my palms started itching badly and I began to scratch them. Although I could see the red marks it was leaving behind on my hands but I cared less as I kept scratching them harshly.

Getting down the bed, I tried to move towards the washroom but my legs felt too heavy as they trembled while making me fall on the cold ground with a thud and a slow scream left my mouth.

I glanced at the door for a moment feeling that someone must have heard my scream, maybe?

I glanced at the door for a few more seconds hoping that someone would come, pick me up and comfort me. But noone came.

I could feel the salty water near my lips again as I kept scratching my palms and wrists mercilessly. I don't know what's wrong with me, "Am I not doing enough?"

Why does everyone keeps scolding me and telling me that I am not good enough to do anything?

I tried hard to not look at the door but failed badly. My gaze went there every second as my heart ached waiting for the care and concern that would bring me back to normal.

I had locked the door from inside but if they knock then I can manage somehow to unlock it and cry in their arms while they comfort me.
But to my utter despair, none of this happened. They never came.

My chin wobbled at the thought that they left me alone. All alone. Like they always do.

Dad loses his cool and acts real strict forgetting for the moment that I'm his daughter and he shouldn't be that cold with me.

But he doesn't get this point. I don't know why, although he gives me Princess treatment in all other cases but cases like these where I get low grades or that I'm involved with in any stupid matters then he doesn't even look at me.

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