Logan's Version

Logan's Version (scene 6) - Let's dial C for Crazy

Mikey is completely exhausted from having to watch all four all day, and he is seen sleeping peacefully on the couch. Not until Danny sneaks up from behind the couch and jumps on him yelling...
Danny: (jumping non-stop) UNCLE MIKEY!!! I'M HUUUUNGRY!! (Mikey wakes up startled but not before falling off the couch with Danny, followed by the laugh track)
Mikey: (awake, but very tired and angry) Why can't u wake me (grunts, while still laying on the floor) like a normal person?
Danny: (grinning) I'm not. I'm unpredictable
Mikey: (glaring at Danny) You're VERY lucky you're not my child (laugh track as he stands up slowly). And how did u even pronounce that properly?
Danny: I dunno. It all just kind of happened -
Mikey: Jesus, no. We do not need a second Danny in the same Danny (laugh track). Where's Jesse? (Before Danny can answer, Mikey's phone rings. Turns out Logan is the one calling) Hello?
Logan: Hey, Mikey. Vas happening?
Mikey: Nothing much, just watching the angels u left with me (laugh track)
Logan: (wonders a little) Laugh track? Was that sarcasm?
Mikey: Does this answer your question? (puts phone call on speaker)
Danny: (singing obnoxiously) I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I need some food to eat, I'm (with a very weird deep tone) HUNGRY! (switches to high pitch) Very hungry! (Another laugh track. Danny stops singing, marches to Mikey) Uncle Mikey, I'm hungry. Ooh, and tell Teacher Logan to buy me ice cream when he comes back. (with a raspy childish voice) Danny likes me some vanilla and strawberry
Mikey: (with a blank expression) Dear God, u had me thinking something else when u said Danny like that (laugh track)
Logan: I thought I was the only one (laugh track). Just find something. Besides, we're almost through with the shoot, so we'll be heading down there in a few hours.
Mikey: How's the shoot going?
Zoey: (suddenly snatches phone from Logan) Mikey, I want u to get down here and use your director skills to get Melissa out of my hair (camera shows co-star Melissa, throwing one of Zoey's wigs on a chair after trying it on her head. She laughs cunningly amidst laugh track).
Logan: Literally? (laugh track)
Zoey: (rolls eyes) Are Danny & Jesse OK?
Danny: Zoey! I'm here. When are u coming back? I miss all of u. Mikey said no TV for me for an hour because I ate two spoons of the sushi he gave me
Mikey: U grabbed the sushi, ate everything, and left two spoons for me (laugh track)
Danny: (defensively) That's not what happened. It's a lie
Logan: (scolds) No, Danny. I've told u, u don't tell an adult that he/she is lying. That is very rude. Now, do the needful.
Danny: (with an angelic look) Uncle Mikey, I'm sorry for saying u were lying. (frowning again) But that's not what happened
Mikey: (slightly confused) How does he only
listen to u and not me?
Logan: (chuckles) Because I'm his teacher. And Logan likes me some obedience (laugh track - but neither Zoey nor Mikey is amused. Smiles victoriously before realizing). Now I hear it. My kids are inspired by me. Cool, right?
Zoey: I mean, it's true what they say, The apple don't fall far from the crazy tree (heavy laugh track, as Zoey rolls her eyes and walks off)
Mikey: She's not wrong, u know. (another laugh track)
Logan: Whatever. I gotta go quickly. Zoey & Melissa are about to have a model-off on set just to see who gets the leading man (pauses). So, who's the crazy one now?
Mikey & Danny: (in unison) Still you (laugh track, followed by applause).
Logan: (giving side eye to the phone, before replying weakly) Bye. (ends call)
Mikey: (smiles at Danny) U know, you're a very cool kid. I'm proud (Danny smiles widely). Now, where's Jesse?
Jesse: (walks into the living room with a sling on his shoulder and a suitcase) Hey, everyone.
Mikey: (unsurprised) What did u do?
Jesse: I tried to do a cannon ball jump when I woke up, but I think I might have broken a few bones
Mikey: (indignantly) U THINK?! (Laugh track)
Danny: Man, that's what I always wanted to do. Now I can't
Mikey: How did u find the sling and bandage?
Jesse: In Logan's suitcase. There are a few more left
Danny: (beaming) Sweet. Now, I can try mine with all the fun in the world (tries to run to the room, but Mikey drags him by his hand. Laugh track)
Mikey: NO way, u will not make my day any worse
Jesse: I thought u said he's cool
Mikey: Yea, but (struggles to hold Danny for long) u are very smart and observant for ur age. Now that's cool.
Jesse: Thank u, Mr. Michael (glances at Danny) U know, he'll injure himself with or without u around.
Mikey: I was afraid you'd say that (frees Danny, who stumbles before running to the room). Yet, u are so right. Want to count?
Jesse: (smirks) In three, two - (sounds of clashing steel pots, tearing clothes, a loud thud, and broken glass are heard all at once, amidst laugh track)
Mikey: Let's help him quickly, or we'll never hear the end of it (laugh track followed by applause is heard, as the two walk towards the room. Scene closes).