Logan's Version

Logan's Version (scene 13) - Danny's Version

The scene opens with Logan sleeping on the couch. Soon enough, Danny slowly walks up to him and whispers without trying to disturb - ironically.
Danny: (whispers) Mr Logan, I need your help.
Logan: (tiredly) Danny, I already told u. I can't create a time trampoline that bounces you into another dimension (laugh track)
Danny: No, not that. I've got a fish bone stuck in my throat
Logan: (quickly opens his eyes in alarm and sits up) How?!
Danny: I was eating and then -
Logan: (cuts in) I mean, how are you still talking? (rushes to get a bottle of water and surgical hand gloves) U don't talk when you have a bone stuck in your throat.
Danny: (smirks) It's kind of my thing! (laugh track)
Logan: (hands the bottle to Danny while wearing the surgical gloves) You're so lucky this is the first time
Danny: (gulps some water) No, this is the fourth time; the first time was the last time, in class. (Logan tries to recall the "actual" last time...)
[Flashback]
Logan: (stacking some notes on the table, smiles to himself) Now, I can happily eat my lunch without any interruptions. (However, Logan's eyes dart toward Danny standing up from his chair. He becomes anxious) Oh, no. This is never good [laugh track] (turns toward Drea and whisper shouts) Drea, cover for me! I'm your teacher and I command it!
Drea: (confused) Am I supposed to be Lady Charlotte from Bridgerton? or George? (laugh track as Logan points at Danny about to walk toward them) Nope, never good. Teacher, lay low! I got this! [laugh track] (Logan acts like he's asleep on the table)
Danny: (arrives at Logan's table, talks in a worried state) Mr Logan, I need your help. (pauses, notices Logan's sleeping, but for some reason, he won't leave) Mr Logan? It's Danny speaking (laugh track)
Drea: (in a British accent) Danny, the teacher is quite asleep and needs no disturbance
Danny: (frowns) British, ay? Two can play at this. (exhales before shaking Logan furiously, talks in baby voice) Teacher, please, it's your Danny! The Phantom Boy! Look at me, look at your Danny! Don't u love me anymore?! [laugh track]
Drea: (rolls her eyes in frustration) I tried, God. I tried [laugh track].
Logan: (sits up tiredly) Danny, I'm tired. Can u come back later? OK?
Danny: But if I do, I won't be alright
Logan: (exhales deeply) OK, what is it?
Danny: (grinning widely) I got a bone stuck in my throat [laugh track]
Logan: (sits up) Are u OK? Stay still.
Danny: (murmurs) I can't, I'm 5 [laugh track]
Logan: (confused) Doesn't it hurt?
Danny: (shrugs) Not one bit. (Logan's right eye starts to twitch) Mr. Logan, is something wrong with your eye?
Logan: (annoyed) No, but something is VERY wrong with you! WHAT DA F-
Pupils: SHHHHHHHH!! [laugh track as Logan stops mid sentence and simply glares at a confused Danny. Flashback ends]
Danny: (holding a tiny fish bone) Ahh, good times
Logan: (glaring) Yeah, a good time to almost get me fired [laugh track].
Zoey: (walks out of the room, dressed in a blue gown) Logan, I'm off to Helen's office party. I'll return by 7.
Logan: (stands up) Zoey, Danny had a bone stuck in his throat, and u did nothing about it
Zoey: (grins nervously) I sent him to u, 'cause he adores you. Danny is an angel.
Logan: (unmoved) Spill.
Zoey: Your son is a wild one [laugh track]. Last week, he had a fish bone stuck in his throat, and I never got to hear the end of it
Logan: U say it like we never hear the end of Danny.
Danny: Yeah, I visit three times a week. How do you not know this? (fakes dramatic sadness) I feel like I don't know you guys [laugh track]
Logan: Danny, did u annoy Miss Zoey about a fish bone?
Danny: (grinning, despite the seriousness of the situation) I didn't disturb her at all...
[Another flashback]
Zoey: (sitting on the couch while making a phone call) No, Grace. I already told u that Jay can not come to my place on Friday (pause). Yes, I have to watch Danny this time, while Logan is out of town. He's a sweet kid (another pause while Zoey frowns). Stop laughing [laugh track] Danny is a sweet kid. Yes, he is noisy, but he does not create big problems as you say. (Meanwhile, Danny walks into the living room majestically while holding a toy megaphone)
Danny: Greetings, Lady Zoey of this house [laugh track]
Zoey: (glances at Danny before rolling her eyes) You know what? You're right, let me call you back. [laugh track] (ends call before facing Danny, somewhat uninterested) What do you want?
Danny: (exhales) I have a song for you, malady.  And thou assures u, a good one
Zoey: (slumps back on the couch) U spoke in British; it can never be good [laugh track]
Danny: (stands with his hands on his waist and starts to rap off-key) I got a bone in my throat, got two bones in my throat, I was eating my sushi dish, but made mistake with the fish!
Zoey: (quickly sits up) Ehh?! [Laugh track]
Danny: (smiles obliviously) Ooh, you like it? Let me sing more! (in an opera-like voice) FISH BOOOOOO...!
Zoey: NO! (Stands up quickly, rushes to the kitchen to get water, while yelling) DANNY, DON'T YOU DARE SING ANOTHER WORD!! (returns with a water bottle and pours water into his mouth to stop him from singing) [laugh track]
Danny: (gulps down the water before coughing. Unsurprisingly, Danny smiles at a worried Zoey) Thanks, Miss Zoey.
Zoey: You're welcome, Danny. (sits down on the couch) But please, never in your life, sing when you've got a bone in your throat. Or u could sing at a place you're not supposed to [laugh track] (Zoey glances at her phone and notices she never ended the call. She picks up her phone) Hey, Grace. Vas happening? (frowns) It was just um, a Danny Phantom episode. (pause) Why would I lie to you?
Danny: (audibly) Isn't that what you're doing?
Zoey: (bluntly) Child, sit down and don't make me tell another lie [laugh track]
[Flashback ends]
Danny: So, instead, I have to talk and not sing about it anymore
Logan: (staring blankly) I don't think u get it, do you?
Danny: (grinning) Yuh! [laugh track]
Zoey: How did u even forget about it? I told u three days ago
Logan: (confused) You did?
Danny: (nods) Oh, yuh, we did.
[Another flashback]
Logan: (watching TV while eating ice cream, comments) You're supposed to go that way. What's wrong with you?
Zoey: (angrily walks in with Danny) Logan, tell Danny to behave. He keeps getting bones stuck in his throat on purpose)
Logan: (too focused on the TV) Relax, he's just a kid. And aren't those bones protecting his throat; like a windpipe or something?
Zoey: (rolls eyes) I mean, actual bones. It's a big hazard.
Logan: (eats another ice cream scoop) Sure, Danny, be nice and don't do that again.
Zoey: Thank u (starts to leave with Danny)
Logan: (at the TV) Hey, you are blocking my way. Move already! [laugh track]
Danny: (confused) I'm right here. Am I that invisible, despite all my efforts (Zoey glares at Danny) [laugh track]
[Flashback ends]
Logan: That happened? (Zoey and Danny nod) How was I supposed to know that? Harry Styles was on TV [laugh track]
Zoey: (surprised) That was Harry??
Logan: (raises an eye brow at Zoey) U know I don't listen to anyone when it's not Harry [laugh track] That being said, I'm going back to being in Harry's band (tries to lay back down)
Danny: (exhales) Teacher, we've been over this. You're not in Harry's band. He doesn't even know you exist.
Logan: (smirks) Oh, he does. In my version.
Zoey: No, big head, it's Danny's Version. The scene title literally says so (points at the ceiling)
Danny: Yup, the one time I'm proud of having my story to tell! [laugh track]
Logan: (stares at the ceiling briefly) What title?
[Another laugh track]
Zoey: (rolls eyes) Are you blind? (looks at her phone) Great. I'm almost late, I've got to go to the party now. (leaves the house)
Logan: And I've got a dream meeting to attend [laugh track] (Logan prepares to sleep again, but Danny sits on the couch)
Danny: Teacher Logan, if you meet Harry, say hi to him for me
Logan: (confused) I thought u didn't believe that Harry knew me
Danny: That's why I said if. (shrugs) If he doesn't kick you off stage before you ruin the meet-and-greet for him. [Laugh track and applause as Danny returns to the room, while Logan is left puzzled at Danny's blunt remarks]
The scene ends...