Logan's Version

Logan's Version (scene 15) - The Spooketti

The scene opens with Logan, Zoey, and Jesse sitting together around a table with four chairs (with one being empty) in a large hall filled with guests in attendance. The hall is decorated with a Halloween theme, as well as different pictures of beakers and white and blue coat-like ribbon designs. The largest ribbon hung above the stage reads "Spook Fest."
Logan's dressed in an orange shirt and black jeans; Zoey's in a striped red and black gown, while Jesse is wearing a yellow T-shirt with blue jean shorts. The three are eating chicken ribs and wings.
Logan: (munching on a chicken piece) You know, I love the concept of the Halloween festive theme they're trying to put together, bit what's with the lab coats and beakers. Are they trying to experiment on a seance? [laugh track]
Zoey: What do you expect from a fest titled "Spook Fest"? (pauses to drink water from her glass cup) Jesse, hun', pass the plate to me
Jesse: (confused) That's mine?
Zoey: I know, but those bones are harmful to you.
Jesse: (protests) But they contain calcium and Vitamin D, so technically, they're actually helpful.
Logan: Let the kid have his meal. And when Drea said so last time, you didn't mind.
Zoey: Um, Drea's my girl -
Logan: (mocks) And Jesse's my guy. So learn your own lesson about having a favorite kid [laugh track]. Besides, it's a good thing Jesse's mom is totally fine with two of us taking him to this very public place filled with popular scientists and celebrities.
Zoey: (confused) She specifically said not to.
Logan: (raises eye brow) She did? [laugh track]
Zoey: (rolls eyes) She said that we shouldn't even think of doing such or she would actually deduct 80% of our payment. We were supposed to attend alone, while Mikey watched Jesse.
Logan: (smirks) But Mikey's not around. That's to our advantage!
Zoey: No, big brain. We could get a one-star review. And there's no one his age here. (looks around) I mean, literally no one brought their kid. I'm sorry, are we supposed to be the only smart teenage dad and cool aunt with the very brainy kid? [laugh track]
Logan: (blinks in pain) Teenage dad? Really? I'm his former teacher. Do I look like a joke to u?
Zoey: I do, I always tell u that u do, but of course, you never listen to the seriousness behind this truth [laugh track].
Logan: (sarcastic) Yes, sis. I love u too [laugh track].
Zoey: (sips water) And u could easily pass as his big cousin. You're like 20
Logan: I'm 17.
Zoey: Your face is 17; your body is not [laugh track]
Anne: (joins the three by sitting on the vacant seat) Sorry I'm late. I had to stop by my grandma's; she isn't feeling well, but she's better now. (Looks around, grimaces at the Halloween theme) What's with the stupid Spook Fest theme?
Zoey: (sighs in relief) Girl, I thought I was the only one [laugh track].
Logan: Apparently, it's a science convention thing. I heard they're releasing a new spray that helps with perfect eyesight. It's a new cure for eye defects.
Anne/Zoey: (nod in unison) Impressive.
Jesse: (pressed, turns to Logan) Liam? I want to use the bathroom. To do a wee.
Logan: Jesse, I don't think there's a bathroom here. So you'll have to wait.
Zoey: (refuses) No way. We already waited for an hour before we got served. And we are not going to wait for this table to stink all of a sudden [laugh track].
Jesse: (smiles) See, she gets it [laugh track]. (stands up and brings out a chicken bone he hid in his back pocket) Here, I saved this for you, like you asked.
Zoey: (takes the bone and observes it) There's nothing on it.
Jesse: I know [laugh track].
Logan: Alright, Jesse. We're going to look for the best place to release all that energy [another laugh track]. (As the two are walking towards a door three tables away from there, they bump into someone) I'm so sorry - (Unfortunately, it's someone Logan quickly recognizes. Logan is annoyed) Neil?
Neil: (mocks) What a pleasant surprise, Hoo Logan. [laugh track]
Logan: (mocks) HI, Tiny arms. Nice to see u, too
Neil: (stares at Jesse for a while) I see you got a kid now. At such a young age? Tsk, that's why I always knew you were a hooligan.
Logan: (keeps calm) I'm his cousin. (whispers) And this is a family setting; don't make me throw words that we both don't want to boomerang in front of a child. You understand, right?
Neil: (scoffs) No, I don't. This isn't a script; this is a science convention for well established people like me and not you. Let's just hope the little guy isn't like his clown dad here.
Logan: Your brain is as weak as your arms [laugh track].
Neil: But they're stronger than your pullout game [audience gasp track]. He's your cousin? I call -
Host: (announces) And now, ladies and gentlemen, without any further ado, we shall bring forth our latest mint spray, which will be officially released tomorrow at noon. Let's welcome, Mr. Neil Driscoll!
Zoey: (raises head from her phone) Neil Driscoll? Why does that name sound familiar? (glances around the hall briefly before her eyes are fixated on Logan, Jesse, and Neil at the hallway door. Alarmed, she taps Anne) Anne, we have to go. Logan's going to do the Logan thing again.
Anne: (gets her purse) We have to hurry. We can't let what happened at the wedding repeat itself [laugh track]
Host: Neil Driscoll?
Logan: (arguing with Neil) At least, I'm not living a boring life like the lab rat that you are.
Neil: Says someone who lives like one.
Logan: Your comebacks are extra weak
Neil: Like your -
Logan: (furious) Enough with the pull out slang. At least, I got a kid. But even if you pull out, nothing gets out either.
Jesse: (pressed and irritated by the back and forth arguing) I can't hold this anymore! (He runs toward the door)
Neil: (punches Logan in the face) Mind your words, you tramp!
Logan: (regains composure, but enraged) No, you - Trampoline! (pushes Neil hard toward a sculpture close to the veiled table. Though Neil manages to roll away after hitting it, Jesse runs in, almost immediately, unaware of the stumbling statue. Some of the alarmed guests have begun to run around in confusion, while others try to make meaning of the situation).
Jesse: Liam! (Runs toward Logan)
Host: (alarmed) Everyone, cover yourselves! (The guests, including Anne and Zoey, who stopped midway to avoid getting involved with Logan, bring out their handkerchiefs to shield their faces. The host does so)
Zoey: LOGAN! Cover yourself! (rolls eyes) What am I saying! [laugh track]
Logan: Jesse, don't! (Pushes the veiled table under the falling pillar to stop Jesse from being hit. As the statue lands on the table, it breaks some of the hidden bottles (inventions), releasing a dull green gas. Logan jumps in time to shield Jesse when he realizes its contents - which is released all over the two. Luckily, Zoey gets a fire extinguisher to supposedly blow off the heavy gas. Although Logan and Jesse are covered by a mixture of white and dull green powder) [laugh track is provided as a form of comic relief] (coughs) Big guy, are you OK?
Jesse: (coughing, but holding Logan tightly) I'm fine, Mr Liam. But whatever this is, it's bad for our health.
Logan: Tell me about it [laugh track].
Zoey: Are you both OK?
Anne: Yeah. (with an annoyed tone) And what was that? The one time I begged you not to do the Logan thing!
Logan: (carries Jesse bridal style) What of the last time at the wedding?
Zoey: That was me [laugh track]. (Their conversation is interrupted by the host of the event, and two of the bouncers, who walk up to the four. The host is visibly upset)
Host: I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but you've ruined my Spook Fest convention. (to bouncers) Escort them out, please! And they should never return.
Logan: (looks confused, still carrying Jesse) Sir, it was - never mind. I just need the bowl of meat pies over there. They look very -
Host: (furiously cuts in) Out of bounds! (Points to the door) [laugh track] Now, LEAVE!
Logan: (brings down Jesse, so he stands OK his feet. Jesse coughs again) Fine. (As the bouncers escort them out of the hall, but then Logan grabs a chicken lap from a nearby table) Your loss, boo. [laugh track] (he stealthily runs off with Jesse)...
[Later, at home]
Jesse is on the couch, eating another chicken bone he hid in his pocket. Anne is about to leave, while Zoey and Logan search the cupboard for medicine
Logan: Good thing Jesse's cough can be cured with simple medicine.
Zoey: Yeah, but not the embarrassment. So much for promising not to get Jesse in the public eye.
Logan: Sis, I'm very sorry. But Neil -
Zoey: U didn't have to do the Logan thing, though. But it's good u pushed him before he would've said mean things about Jesse. You also saved us from a one-star review by saving him (points at Jesse)
Jesse: She wouldn't have given y'all any counting stars [laugh track]
Zoey: I'm proud of you, little brother (talks with a serious tone), but do the Logan thing again, and I will end you [laugh track]
Logan: Deal (the two hug)
Anne/Jesse: Awwwwn.
Anne: (checks the time) I'm going now. And Zoey, please drive. Don't call Michael. [laugh track]
Zoey: (walks toward the door with Anne but stops to face Logan, Anne, and Jesse) But come to think of it, Neil does look like a trampoline.
Anne/Logan/Jesse: (in agreed unison) GIRL! [laugh track] (Anne and Zoey leave afterward, talking indistinctly).
Logan: Jesse, I need you to stay put while I get your medicine from the room, OK?
Jesse: (smiles) OK, Liam. (Jesse coughs again as Logan walks to the room. Meanwhile, Zoey's face mirror is on the couch by his side, and he uses it to look at himself) Man, I got a small speed bump on my head [laugh track]. (Jesse drops the mirror and stares at the TV remote next to him, as the camera does a slow closeup on his face. However, he doesn't realize the iris on his right eye slowly changes from brown to a glowing green [gasp track]. The screen slowly fades to black).