Logan's Version

Logan's Version (scene 9) - Teaching Troubles

Logan and Zoey are walking out of a principal's office in a school building
Logan: I can't believe I get to be a kindergarten teacher again. It's almost like I got rehired, but this time, I get to act it
Zoey: That's a good thing, you have the experience. Plus, we already babysit as a side hustle, so it can't be that hard. To be honest, we watching 10 to 15 of them is easier than looking for a needle in a haystack.
Logan: Is Danny the needle?
Zoey: (scoffs) Yes, that kid is hard to hold (laugh track). Remember when we lost him in the country barn haystack after the road trip? (another laugh track)
Logan: We also lost the speeding ticket thanks to him. I'm starting to wonder if he's the actual brakes to our car, and Mikey did us a favor (laugh track)
Zoey: Well, we finally get to do a school scene in this new series. The kids also get major roles by themselves. It won't be so stressful to take care of them
Logan: (faces camera in terror) By themselves...?
(Meanwhile...)
Boy 1: (glaring at the camera) Boy 1? BOY 1?! ARE U BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?! (Laugh track) Mr. Writer, u better change that name quick or U GON' GET IIIIT. (Laugh track, followed by applause, as Boy 1 - sorry, Aloysius - fumes before being tapped by Girl 1)
Girl 1: (rolls eyes, talks sarcastic) Hey, Raven, this ain't your home (laugh track). Cool it, will you (faces camera) And my name's Megan; don't get fired (another laugh track)
Aloysius: Alright, folks. It's d first day of school and we need to impress our teachers
Megan: (scoffs) Folks? Where are we? The 50s? (laugh track)
Daniel: (rolls eyes) I heard we have 2 new teachers, and they're way younger
Aloysius: I like the sound of that. They'll understand us better.
Smart: (walks in with a backpack while holding a few scripts) Hi, I'm the new kid. Sorry I'm late, I had to get a script that I obviously can't read (heavy laugh track)
Aloysius: (excitedly) Finally, we have a newcomer. U and I are going to best friends
Daniel: (confused) I thought WE are the best friends
Aloysius: (heaves a sigh dramatically) Oh, Daniel, you are so nice and naive (laugh track)
Ella: How do we impress d teachers?
Aloysius: Simple, we divide ourselves into different roles, based on the scripts we can't read properly (laugh track). And we just wow them with our angelic abilities.
Ella: (scoffs) Angelic abilities? I'm a child, and even I know when I'm annoying my siblings (heavy laugh track)
Aloysius: (thinks briefly) You have a point (pause) I'm taking the lead role
Everyone: Why?
Aloysius: (proudly) Cuz everyone loves me
Everyone (murmuring) True (quiet laugh track)
Aloysius: But we need to be at least 5 in the lead roles. Myself, Megan, Daniel, Ella, and Smart
Smart: But I'm new
Aloysius: Which makes it easy. Use ur new kid charm and figure it out
Ella: (raises head from a phone she brought out of nowhere) What about me?
Aloysius: All Ella's are d same. U already know what 2 do
Ella: (she is suddenly in a princess gown, throws the phone offscreen, and announces proudly) I'm the queen bee now. Deal with it! (slams a purse onto Daniel's stomach)
Aloysius: Alright, let's see other available roles. We also need a smart kid, crazy one, and most importantly, a sleeper hit
Daniel: (chuckles) Sleeper hit? That's a good one (quiet laugh track)
Ifechukwu: (yawning, wakes up from sleep at a corner of the classroom) Sorry, everyone. What did I miss?
Aloysius: (with a slightly annoyed tone) Ife, I can't believe u were sleeping throughout the meeting. (Suddenly excited) You're hired!
Everyone: (shocked) WHAT?!
Ifechukwu: (smiles) I love my job (dozed off as laugh track is heard)
Aloysius: Henry, you're Ifechukwu's best friend. Always snap him to reality
Henry: (nervously) Ok?
Aloysius: No, really. Snap him back to reality. He's asleep again (another laugh track)
Audrey: (Runs in) I don't mean to interrupt, but the teachers are coming
Daniel: Oh, no! We aren't finished yet. (Turns to Aloysius) Boss, do something
Aloysius: (sternly) There's only one thing to do. (hits a circular panic button hazardly colored on a table, directly in front of Henry)
Henry: (yells) RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! (imitates a distress alarm/siren since the button obviously doesn't work, as the class goes wild, running everywhere possible, except Ifechukwu, who's still sleeping. Another kid, Oliver, smiles mischievously while sitting with Ifechukwu)
Oliver: These are my kind of people
(Heavy laugh track)
(Everyone quickly sits down as they arrange the entire class. Then they all sit and pretend to discuss in low whispers. Then an awkward silence follows)
Ella: (wonders) I feel we forgot something (to Audrey). I thought u said they were coming this way
Zoey: (from behind, screams) Whoa! What happened to the board? (There's a large blue marker stain on the board)
Aloysius: (annoyed, to Daniel) U had one job, Daniel! ONE JOB!
David: (bluntly) I'm five, I can't reach that high (laugh track)
Logan: (to Zoey) I told u the first day is always going to be crazy. They're just kids. And we have a long month ahead of us (the two drop their backpacks by the teacher's table)
Oliver: (to d camera) Now they're my kind of people (winks and smiles, but looks down at the script and frowns) Kid 5?! (looks up in an annoyed tone) Writer, u just got in a twist of trouble. (Attempts to jump at the camera, but Smart, Ella & Henry try to hold him back)
Zoey: Who's he talking to?
Logan: Don't worry, you'll get used to it (laugh track as the two stare at the kids trying to stop Oliver from embarrassing himself)
The scene ends with a laugh track and heavy applause.