Dear You, From, Me [COMPLETED & EDITING]

January 1, 2016

Dear You,
By the time you read this I would've alright left to wherever death has taken me.

I promised myself, back in 8th grade that I wouldn't even attempt to kill myself again, because I thought that I could deal with it and things would get better.

Eventually it did, but then it got worse.
I couldn't figure out who I am or where I belonged in this world.

I couldn't make anyone happy, and I could never maintain the friendships the way I should've properly done so.
I never really opened up to people about my feelings and I bottled it up way too long to make me go mad.
Instead of being truthful and honest on how I felt, I continued to put a smile on my face and put on an act as though I was perfectly fine.

I thought that was a way I would find my happiness. That eventually those things I was keeping from everyone or going through would just float away like clouds.

The thing is, it was the complete opposite.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to my family, for not being the daughter I should've been. I'm sorry for disappointing you guys every time I made a mistake. I'm sorry that I wasn't organized or knew how to balance the important versus the unimportant.

I'm sorry to my friends, for telling you things that I myself didn't believe. I'm sorry that I would ignore you guys or simply not pay attention to answer a single message I got on my phone. I'm sorry that I kept to myself when I ached the most.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so truly and deeply sorry and I know that committing such thing is not the answer, but I believed it was only right to do so.

I hope you guys will forget and move on as you should. You guys deserve better, and now that I'm gone, your lives will be 100 times greater.

From,