Lost (Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

Chapter 15- Harry

Chapter 15- Harry

Apprantly I slept the rest of yesterday, and I feel so guilty for doing so. I feel so awful, I feel like everything I said and did yesterday were just so bitter. I've got most of my memory back, I know it was a quick journey between loosing my mind. But the fact I made them leave, thinking they weren't anything to me is just... I don't even know how to say it, really.

Anne and Gem are of course my closest family. When they came to my room I swear I didn't have a single memory of them or an image of knowing them, but I do now- and I wish I didn't act like I did yesterday. I was so disgusting in the way I acted, I just really had no clue who they were.

I've been thinking all morning: What am I going to say or do when Gemma and Mum come back? I feel so bad and I feel like it's all my fault. I had no idea whatsoever that they are related to me, yesterday. I made them cry, they were on the floor crying because of what I was saying about not knowing them! I'm not that sort of person, I'm meant to be carefree and friendly. I'm meant to be a Harry that they know. The Harry they made me into, the one that they love the most.

They've helped me through everything I've done so far in my life. I even forgot my job! For fucks sake, I'm in the most famous and biggest boyband in this world- how could I have forgotten that as well!? And the fact I forgot about Zayn, Perrie and Eleanor...jesus my head must of been messed up.

My stomach aches, and all of my insides- mentally and physically- because of what happened yesterday. I feel like I fell into the world's biggest pit of thorns and stinging nettles, every spike and sting scarring my mind, letting me know I need to be hurt like this as I hurt other people the same- not just people, but important people. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say. It's not that I can't be bothered to think right now, no not at all, it's because I have been through so many lines of what to say if my family, who I not long ago forgot about, came back to see me. I wouldn't blame anything on them if they didn't want to see my disgraceful face ever again, I hurt them so badly yesterday. So fucking badly.

I hope I haven't ruined everything, once again. I'd feel lost without them by my side.

My head is still hurting but it wasn't as bad as yesterday. Doctor. Samuels said I've been recovering at an amazing speed, most patients of his don't get their memory back til months after training. He said I must of regained energy during my little game/ concussion- it's rare but it's possible. They also put me on a high level on the machine thing that sits behind my bed, apprantly that's what could of made my mind go back to the way it was supposed to be.

I've got all my important memories back already, except I have no clue why I came in here. I have no image or soundscape in my mind about any "car crash". March the 1st is the only thing I remember about that accident, as I remember Louis tackling me on to the floor in the morning. The rest has been erased from my mind, completely gone, like it was never a memory anyway. 

It's gone past 12 pm now and I'm able to go around the hospital without any help, due to showing the doctor I am pretty much ok after my long a tiring sleep. Argh, my head. I hope my head gets better, it's never been this bad before in my life- even my hangover after the night I shared in the local pub with Ed doesn't calculate up to this much pain.

"Knock. Knock." Sounded on the wooden door.

"C'mon in." I groaned. Every word spoken from my mouth is like one bit of helpful medicine taken away from me, gradually leaving me with the worst pain- knowing I have nothing to help me recover.

Doctor. Samuels casually drifted in, one step in the room, one arm out to shut the door behind him. He looked really strange whenever he came into my room, it looked like he had rehearsed shutting the door or as if he played coming in as a scene from a musical, like he was about to sing dramatically.