Fairytale Reality

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

“She's not sure what she wants!”

“Let me give you a clue: wait for her to say the words.” – Eclipse

Thanksgiving break couldn’t have passed any slower if it tried. All I kept thinking about was Ash. What would he say? I kept picturing it in my head: Ash hugging me hello and saying, “I’ve really been thinking about this for a while, Aria I really like you. I want to be with you as way more than friends. I didn’t want to tell that guy because I wanted you to be the first to know.” Which of course I would respond with a big yes. I had to stop myself though…my optimistic brain was getting ahead of itself. What if he said he didn’t like me in that way? How would I handle that? I’d put on a fake smile and pull through it I guess. I had to just keep thinking we were just friends, just friends, just friends, but Jamie didn’t really help the situation.

“So today is when he’s gonna talk to you? I’m so excited I can’t wait to hear the news! I know he’s gonna say he likes you I just know it!” She was beaming with excitement.

“I know I’m nervous and excited…but I have to remember the negative. What if it doesn’t work out?”

“Ok well you keep that in the back of your mind just in case, but I could bet money on you two together!” With that she turned around and our professor started her lecture.

The butterflies in my stomach were doing a ballet right now. I was headed to writing class and wondering how was this talk going to start. Would I bring it up? Would he? Then I decided it was definitely not going to be me.

Now it was the end of writing class and I was wondering when Ash would say something…maybe he wouldn’t. Some people were talking with him after class so I figured I would just leave. I started to walk out when I heard Ash:

“Aria, wait a second. I need to talk to you.” That was it those words made me cemented in the ground.

The walk was silent at first.

“Uh you wanted to tell me something?”

“Yea I know, but I’m debating over whether I should or not.” He stared straight-ahead deep in thought.

“Just tell me. You know you can tell me anything.”

“I just…I’m afraid something will change.” He turned to face me I almost ran into him he had turned so fast. “Ok so you flirt with me and I flirt back, but I don’t want a relationship right now. I’ve had a lot of bad relationships as you know, and I’m graduating this year and going to a different college. I don’t think I can do a long distance relationship, I mean the one I had didn’t end to well. You are my best friend and I really don’t want to lose you. I’m afraid that after I tell you all this you’re gonna stop hanging out with me…its happened before.” It hurt a little to know that there wasn’t going to be anything between us, but if I had to choose between friends and nothing, I’d pick friends any day.

“No I understand completely. I’m not going to leave you. You are my absolute best guy friend Ash. I’m fine with being friends, if we were to ever become something more in the future that would be nice too, but its just gravy.” I was being honest and it was nice to have an open relationship where I could tell someone everything.

“I’m so happy you said that Aria! I was so worried that you’d hate me!”

“I don’t hate you…I’m not even mad.” Just a little disappointed my optimistic brain finally got the best of me.

A Couple Days Later

Ash and I were still texting. Even after me getting my heart broken a little, it was still nice to talk to him. I wasn’t nervous at all, and it felt good to have a guy I could completely be myself around. I also still talked to Jake. I began to hang out with him more around the HP. He was fun…made me laugh sometimes, but I’d still find my thoughts comparing him to Ash. He didn’t remember things like Ash did. Ash had my whole schedule memorized and the times I woke up…kind of weird but I loved that. I really had to stop myself from thinking like that, things with Ash and I weren’t going to go any further. He said so himself. I had to give Jake a chance.

“Hey Aria…do you want to go to McDonalds with me?”

“Uh yea sure I haven’t eaten lunch yet.”

We got in his van and rode to McDonalds. He grabbed my hand at one point in the car and at first I was going to pull away but then I realized if I’m going to give him a chance I have to try, so I kept my hand there. When we pulled into McDonalds I reached down for my wallet when I felt Jake lean over. Next thing I knew he grabbed my cheek and kissed my lips. It was quick and I definitely didn’t kiss him back. I just froze. I was freaking out…what do I do, what do I say? I didn’t even know how I felt about it all. I just sat up and got out of the car. Jake didn’t seem to mind because he just walked right along side me into McDonalds. He picked out what we would eat and then just stood in front of me. I was deep in thought…processing it all. Then just like before he kissed me again. This time I realized I wasn’t supposed to be this confused about it. I was supposed to just melt into the arms of the man kissing me, but I wasn’t. He didn’t kiss me after that. We just ate lunch and he drove me back to school. All I could think about was how do I feel right now? I’m not sad, maybe a little but it’s mixed with something else. Then I remembered I had to go to writing class…I had to see Ash. I couldn’t tell him, for some reason…I just couldn’t tell him what happened.

As I drove home from school I blasted my Taylor Swift cd. I had to think about what happened. Just as her song Haunted came on and I started belting out the words I began to cry, not because I was sad but because I was angry. Jake just like that boy in 1st grade had just stolen a kiss from me…technically my first kiss. I was so tired of people just taking something that they thought belonged to them. I made a promise to myself that the first kiss I would count would be the one when I got to kiss the boy. After all that’s really what a true first kiss should be a boy and a girl kiss each other…and I definitely know I did not kiss Jake back.