Pieces Of Me

Chapter 7

Helen and Jeff exchanged a long look before Helen said: "You should tell her, Jeff." Her voice was shaking a little; the emotions did not only affect Leah but also her mother.

Jeff cleared his throat. "We actually don't really know anything about your biological parents, Leah. You were only ten months old when we adopted you. The social workers in the children's home you had been living for some weeks, didn't tell us about the reasons you were there or who your real parents were. And we...your mother and I, we didn't inquire. We were just too happy to finally have our little girl." Jeff smiled at Leah and she managed to give him tiny smile back.

"Okay, so...there is no information about them?", Leah quietly asked and let out a deep sigh when her parents shook their heads. She couldn't hide her disappointment but she didn't blame Jeff and Helen. She knew it must have been hard for them to tell her the truth. They looked tired and still some kind of anxious.

Leah put her hands on one of Helen's and one of Jeff's. She tried to smile and was glad that her parents smiled back at her.

"Thank you. Thank you for telling me, although the truth came out late. "I'm glad you told me. I...guess I'll go home now. It's quite late and I'm tired", Leah finally said and got up from the couch. The feeling of dizziness had disappeared again and she didn't feel like crying anymore.

"Are you sure you want to drive home alone? I could bring you home", Jeff offered but Leah shook her head.

"No, dad, thanks. I need to be alone for a while. Good thing Spencer's not at home." She smiled slightly and then kissed her parent's cheeks before she left.

All the news she had heard today had been a shock. She still almost couldn't believe that she was an adopted child. How could the people she always called mom and dad not be her parents? It was unbelievable.

There were still a lot of thoughts running through her mind when she opened the door to the apartment. She decided to take a hot bath, maybe this would make her tired enough to just lay into bed later and fall asleep immediately.

But it didn't work. Although Leah was tired, she couldn't fall asleep. She was tossing and turning under the duvet until she got up again and paced back and forth through the apartment. Why would her biological parents give her away? Why didn't they want her? Didn't they have any other choice, maybe?

All these grueling thoughts frustrated her and all she wanted was getting some answers. But it seemed to not be possible to get those. Would she have to live her life without knowing why she had been given away?

Leah's hand wandered to her bump and she gently stroke it. There was a baby growing inside of her and until today, she had always thought she knew where she came from but now...she had no idea who she actually was. She felt lost.

Not being able to hold back her tears anymore, Leah went back into the bedroom and let herself sink onto the bed. She crawled under the duvet and pulled it up under her chin. She sobbed into the pillows while her hand was still laying on her growing baby bump.

Some minutes later – it felt like hours to Leah – she turned around on her back, took deep breaths and whipped away the tears. Crying didn't help. It didn't give her the answers she craved. It didn't make her feel any better.

With a sigh she turned around and fumbled for her phone, which was lying on the bedside table. Two hours ago Spencer had texted her that they'd arrived safely and had to work on the case now.

For a second Leah thought about calling him but then she resisted. Spencer wouldn't have time for her. He had to concentrate on the case they were working on. She didn't want to disturb him.

So she put the phone back on the bedside table, turned around again and closed her eyes. She forced herself to think about something nice, something beautiful and while she stared to imagine her and Spencer's life with their baby, she finally found some sleep.

In the middle of the night Leah startled from her sleep. Panting she sat up and let her fingers run through her hair. Her heart was pounding fast and hard against her chest. She could barely remember the dream she'd had and squinted her eyes in hope she could bring back the pictures from her dream. Slowly the memory came back and Leah took some deep breaths.

There had been a baby...but she wasn't sure if it had been hers. But it didn't have a face, as if it wouldn't have an identity. Leah was still terrified, even after waking up. She staved off the duvet and got out of bed. There was no way she could fall asleep again right now.

She lumbered into the bathroom to wash her face with some cold water. Then she continued her way through the kitchen and with a jar of ice cream Leah settled on the couch. She wasn't really hungry, but she was craving ice cream so terribly, that there had been no chance for her to pass the fridge without getting herself some.

Lost in her thoughts Leah spooned the banana ice cream and faster than she had realized the jar was empty. With a sigh she put it on the coffee table and leaned back again, her hands on her baby bump now.

"Maybe we should call daddy", she murmured and got up once again to get her phone from the bedroom. A gaze on the digital clock there told Leah that it was only a bit after midnight. Which meant in Denver it would be two hours later. Should she really call Spencer? Maybe he was asleep. But it was more likely that he was still awake.

She knew that he barely slept during a case and that the team sometimes worked through the night. She could give it a try, she decided and dialed Spencer's number. She needed to tell him what she got to know tonight. She needed to hear his soft, warm voice.

And while Leah pulled her legs up on the couch and grabbed the fluffy blanket from the armrest, she listened to the free-line signal, hoping Spencer would answer her call.