Pieces Of Me

Chapter 9

Two days later Spencer came back home. It was late and he quietly opened the bedroom door. As he had expected, Leah was curled up under the duvet. He creeped to the bed and leaned down to gently kiss her cheek. She murmured something in her sleep and turned around. Spencer smiled and looked at the young woman for a minute or two. He had missed her so much, although he had been away for only some days.

Eventually, Spencer made his way to the bathroom to take a shower. The last day of that case had been difficult and the flight back had been long. A hot shower was what he needed right now.

When he came back, he found Leah awake. "Hey babe." He slowly lowered himself on his side of the bed and grabbed the duvet.

"Hey", she murmured and scooted closer to him as soon as he lay down. She wrapped an arm around his torso and buried her face in his neck. "I missed you", she muttered against his skin.

"I missed you too", Spencer replied and pulled her in a tight embrace. Her warm body snuggled against his and he gently put a hand on Leah's baby bump. "How are you feeling?" It was that one question Spencer had asked himself during all the last days since Leah had called him the first time after the news about her adoption. Although they had talked through phone every day since then, he wanted to look at her when she answered his question.

Leah looked up at him, still sleepy. She shrugged and searched for words. How could she explain to Spencer how she had been feeling the last couple of days? It was quite difficult.

"I'm...I don't know, to be honest. I'm still hurt about the fact that my biological parents gave me away. I'm sorry for my parents that they had to keep that secret for so many years. Or well, at least they thought they had to keep it secret from me. I...I feel kind of lost, Spence." Her fingers clawed into Spencer's shirt. "I don't know who I am. I always thought I knew it, but now...now I don't know anymore. And this is the worst feeling." Leah's voice cracked and she swallowed, desperately trying to not cry.

"Shhh, it's okay, darling", Spencer cooed and kissed her forehead. He didn't really know what to say. He couldn't imagine how Leah must feel about all of this. So he just hugged her tight and whispered soothing words into Leah's ears while tears were now streaming down her face.

A sob escaped her mouth but then she looked up to Spencer again. Her eyes were red and a bit swollen, her cheeks were wet. Spencer carefully whipped away the tears with his thumb. Leah took a deep breath. "I...I thought about that whole situation during the last days and...I want to find out who my biological parents are", she said and there was no doubt she wouldn't find it out.

Spencer nodded as he stroked Leah's hair. "I'll support you with that, no matter what. I promise." He kissed her and she snuggled into his arms once more.

"I'm so glad you're back", Leah sighed and closed her eyes.

"Leah?"

"Hm?" She opened her eyes again. Spencer's hand had found its way back to her bump and stroked it. "Promise me that you'll take care of you and our baby", Spencer demanded. "You're not alone anymore, there's our baby growing inside of you and..." He stopped and licked his lips, trying to search for the right words. "I'm just worried about you, you know?" Spencer frowned at his girlfriend. Leah looked up at him and bit her lips.

"I'm sorry that you're worried about me. But...you don't have to be. I'm okay. I'm feeling good. And the baby's fine as well. I won't risk anything, I promise you." She put her hand on his cheek and smiled.

"Good", Spencer said with a sigh, "Good. Because...I couldn't bear if something would happen to you or the baby." He pulled the duvet up and covered himself and Leah now and she placed her head on his chest. After one last kiss Leah fell asleep within a minute, glad that Spencer was back home.

~

The next days Leah spent with visiting several civil services to find out something about her biological parents. But it was frustrating. No one seemed to be willing to tell her anything.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but we are not allowed to tell people who are adopted anything about their biological parents", the middle-aged woman behind the counter said to Leah. Her round glasses were sitting low on her nose and she looked at Leah like an old teacher would.

Leah rolled her eyes and leaned over the counter. She was currently at the youth welfare service and it was the third stop she had made within the last couple of days. Before she had been at the police and at the orphanage her parents had adopted her from. No one had said anything.

"Listen, I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to find out something about their biological parents and it's ridiculous that you're not allowed to tell me anything! I am pregnant and I just got to know that I'm adopted. Can you even imagine how this feels? I need to find out who I really am before I'm becoming a mother myself!", Leah tried to change the woman's mind. But she just shook her head.

"I'm afraid, dear, I can't. Everyone who gives a child away for adoption, has to sign a paper that they will never try to contact them and we make the promise to not give any information out." She shrugged and put her glasses up her nose now.

Leah took a deep breath at those words. She couldn't believe it. How could it be so incredibly hard to find out anything about her biological parents? She couldn't understand and got frustrated more and more. For a moment Leah felt the urge to slam her fist on the counter and start to scream and shout. But she could restrain it.

"Fine", she said, "I wish you a good day with your goddamn discretion", she snorted, turned around and swept out of the room as fast as she could. When Leah stepped out on the street, she let out a sigh of frustration. How could it be that she had no chance to get to know who she really was? Tears filled her eyes, but Leah shook her head and held them back. Crying wouldn't help her in any way. Feeling a little bit nauseous, she decided to go back home again. Spencer was in the office to get some paperwork done and Leah decided to lay down and take a nap for a while. Maybe she'd feel better after.

While Leah walked down the street, she searched for her phone and dialed Billie's number. She needed to get rid of that frustration now and didn't want to call Spencer and disturb him during his paperwork.

"Leah! How are you?", Billie answered the call.

"Hey...I'm doing okay. I just...argh, I told you about my adoption and I wanted to find out something about my parents but...no one seems to be allowed to tell me anything!" Leah started right away. She had told Billie everything right after she had called Spencer that night. And her best friend had promised to support her.

"I never thought that I couldn't find out at least the smallest thing, but...it seems like I'll get to know nothing", Leah continued. She could hear Billie sigh.

"That's so frustrating!", Billie exclaimed. But then she fell silent for some seconds.

"Are you still there?", Leah asked while she hurried down the street and then suddenly stopped at a Dunkin' Donuts. The nauseous feeling had disappeared again and a donut was exactly what she could need now and she entered the store.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm still there. I just...had an idea", Billie replied. "What if you ask Penelope to find out something for you? I don't know her but...you've told me a lot about her and she seems really skilled with hacking stuff...", Billie suggested and Leah's face beamed up at her words.

"Oh my god, why didn't I think about that earlier? You're right! I just have to ask her! I'm sure she'd be able to find out something! Thank you so much, dear!" Leah felt excited all of a sudden and now couldn't wait to see the blonde technical analyst.

Billie laughed. "I'm glad I could help you. Let's see each other soon again, okay?"

Leah agreed and then said goodbye to her best friend to get one of the delicious donuts and continue her way back home. She was only three blocks away and felt much better again, thanks to her best friend. Now she just had to ask Penelope to help her with her problem. Hopefully she'd be able to do something.