Chapter 21

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Zach is on my ass, following my screaming voice through every room. He not only lied but made my mother look low. Unworthy. Unvaluable. Im seeing red. I want to pounce on anyone.
"You are so stupid! Stupid! Stupid! How dare you!" I slam the remote on the floor.
"Danielle, stop breaking shit. I didnt know what else to tell her."
"Oh? How about what I told you!? She was a stock brocker, dated a liar and cheater, then married one! Tell her that I wasnt very connected with her for awhile. That I have a half sibling I havent met. You know what, tell her my mom could have cancer! Could be dying. Since Im such a fucking charity case to you!"
Im crying. Too many emotions built in my body. Too much holding back. Zach is always busy so when we do have time to talk about anything, I expect him to listen. Or at least care to remember. He pulls me in his arms, rocking me. I let myself crumble in his arms. Its awkward but enough. Enough for someone who's been searching to be loved by anyone. Anyone but herself.
Im too vulnerable.

~~~

The air smells like bacon and pancakes. I smile at the plate beside me. Last night was crazy but I got so much off my chest. Zach and I can connect more than we did before. Now, its wedding plans. I pick up the folded napkin, Zach's scribbly handwriting dragging across:

Be back in 10 -I love you

The aroma overwhelms my senses. Ive never seen Zach cook but when he does, its beyond delicious.
Twenty minutes later, Im shuffling around in pajamas and messy hair.
"You look ready to go."
I raise an eyebrow at Zach's sweaty figure. Jogging, I shouldve guessed.
"Ready?"
"Cake tasting. You thought I was letting you do this alone?"
I blush, chewing on my lip. He can be the sweetest when work isn't wearing him down. These are the parts of him I enjoy.
"I guess..but you're sweaty."
"Give me five?"
"Four."
"Deal."
He gives me a quick peck on the cheek, my skin burning red. I can do this marriage thing. I can start over. Butterflies flutter in my stomach. I'm ready.

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