Convincing October

Colors

October

Daddy hugged Mama tightly to his chest as he stared down at me with a look that I couldn't quite decipher. She was sobbing quietly, but I could feel the impact of her sorrow in my bones. My sisters crowded around me for support, all wearing them the same grim looks on their faces and their husbands not far behind. We all knew where this was leading, what was going to happen. The hell of my own creation was just beginning and it wasn't going to end any time soon. I would have to live with the ramifications of having loved a married man who had now fathered a child he would never know. I had chosen a random day to announce my news to my parents, not wanting to disturb the peace of our Sunday dinners in fear of sullying those sacred memories. The moment those words has slipped from my hesitant tongue my mother fell to tears her words hitting like a fist to the stomach.

"October Grace," Daddy spoke after a few minutes, looking down his nose at me. His scar stood out at the moment, making him all the more intimidating. "Who is the father?"

"Daddy..." I hesitated, listening to my mother wail tirelessly. He waited with the unending patience he seemed to have, not wavering in his demand. I'd never known Daddy to back down. I knew he wasn't going to let me leave the question unanswered. This was the question I'd been dreading, the question that made me want to disappoint them further by telling them I didn't know -- that the father was some stranger I'd never caught the name of in my numerous conquests. This would've been far easier than the truth. But I knew deep down that the truth, as it always does, would come out eventually. Especially since my sisters knew.

His name was a curse falling from my mouth. Foul language flew around the room, threats and promises following soon after. The men in the room rallied, trying to make plans. But no one was going to act. I couldn't help but beg them not to. I reluctantly told them the whole story -- skipping the more intimate acts for the sake of sanity -- ending with the admission that he didn't know about the child. They debated telling him and beating him to a pulp, making him pay. Luckily August squelched their idea by telling them that if they did that they would be hurting me in the end. No one was keen on this idea. With a finality in his tone to end all arguments, Daddy spoke.

"You'll start packing your bags in the morning because you're going to live with Arizona. You will not be raising that man's baby in this town." And with a cold look that shattered me, he walked away.

Nausea swirled in my gut as I watched the steady rush of trees as we passed them by, the flit of colors creating a sensation of vertigo. My stomach had been doing flips for days since revealing the truth to my family but now as I traveled further away from my home, it only increased. How had it come to this? I was leaving my home, the only town I'd ever known in all of my nineteen years of life, and why? Because of a man? Even at the sound of the it running through my head I knew it sounded ridiculous. 

"Tobes, you okay back there?" Arizona asked, eyeing me warily from the front seat of the car. I knew she was worried about me and I was flattered by her concern, but it was unwarranted. I was okay, or at least I felt like it. Sure, I could've used a little more time to get used to the idea of moving to Pecan Valley with Ari and her new husband, but Mama and Papa decided it was best, especially once they discovered the paternity of the child growing within me. At first I'd debated telling them, not wanting to cause papa's trigger finger to itch, but after all of the lies I'd told and truths I'd avoided it was time to come clean. To say I was the disappointment of the Dixon brood was an understatement, but I was already coping with that on my own. For as long as I could remember, I'd been their good girl. The daughter that had followed ever rule and command given to a fault and without question. Now they looked at me as if I were the screw up and in this case, I definitely was. No matter how bad thing had gotten with the other girls before, it had never reached this level; where mama was ashamed to show her face at church and daddy had to cope with the effects of my stupid mistakes by watching his beloved wife suffer. I knew deep down that my leaving was the best decision for all of us, not just me and the baby.

"I promise you'll like Pecan Valley, October." Rhett spoke for the first time since picking me up, a slight drawl to his baritone voice. "I know your last visit was fairly brief and most places were closed but there are plenty of things you can do." I let him tell me all about the little town he'd grown up in, the sheer pride apparent as he continued to speak. Apparently, I'd gotten knocked up and cast away at the right time I thought bitterly, going back to staring out the window. I listened half-heartedly as he prattled on, making the correct noises at the appropriate time. I didn't want to come off as rude -- it wasn't their fault I'd ended up in this position. I was a big girl, it was time to take responsibility for my actions. Unconsciously my hand drifted to my belly where I had a slight bump going on, one that was bound to grow quickly.

According to my doctor I was going six weeks along, and at this rate I'd be due sometime around early September. Secretly, I was hoping for a little girl, but as long as I got a healthy baby I wouldn't care either way. However excited I was about the baby, I knew there was a reality to be aware of. While I could stay with my sister and brother-in-law for the duration of my pregnancy I wouldn't want to interrupt their post-marital bliss with a screaming infant and I needed to find my own independence since I was going to be a mother. I had a little over thirty-five hundred remaining in savings, which I would happily spend on my little one when the time came. I'd already pre-ordered the furniture I'd need. A crib and changing table combo, stolen the handmade rocking-chair from Papa's parlor, I had full dressers that were being towed behind us in addition to all of the items that had adorned my room in Red Mire. School was already paid for online for the year, and I would already have obtained the bachelors degree I had aimed for, a mix of luck and practical planning in high school. I was in desperate need of a car, but I figured I would be fine for the first few months without one. What I knew I needed more than anything was a job.

But who was going to be willing to hire me knowing I was going to be out in a few short months time?

*

Pecan Valley was breathtaking and resembled Red Mire so strongly that I wasn't sure I would even have issues with home sickness. The town square was littered with small stores, familiar and unfamiliar upon sight. I was shocked to see that they ranked highly enough for a Dollar Tree, but was glad for it. I noted a few little antique shops and what I hoped was a used book store, an Internet cafe, which was likely as close to a Starbucks as I'd get without going to a larger town. We passed the high school on the way in, which Rhett told me was also the middle and elementary school since the population was so low. Most of Pecan Valley was made up of doughnut stores and taco shops, a bar called the Neon Bottle was the only thing that really stood out — that is until we passed a homey looking restaurant called Stacy's that boasted about the best banana pudding in the state. I tucked the location in the back of my mind for future reference, hoping the small sign in the window had proclaimed help wanted as I so hoped. I could wait tables, no problem.

Upon arriving at Rhett and Ari's they admitted that they had a surprise for me. Instead of parking in the front where the house resided, they swung around back, following a newly paved path toward a shack — a tiny house more like it. An eggshell white house with red trim and a bright red door, a porch swing and half wrap around porch, two small flowerbeds on either side of the walk way. It was beautiful and perfect. My breath caught in my throat as Rhett shut off the truck and they both turned in my direction to gauge my reaction. Worry creased my brother-in-law's face as he noted the tears swimming in my eyes but Arizona just laughed about hormones to soothe his concern.

"Is this for me?" I whispered shakily, glancing between the two for a moment.

"We had it built for a guest cabin originally, comfort for anyone who wanted to stay a long while, but when mama called and told me your situation we swung by a hardware and decide store, redecorated and viola."

"It's close enough that if you need anything we're not far at all but there's enough distance that you can have proper privacy." Rhett and Ari exchanged a look briefly before one of them continued, "You're old enough not to need any kind of supervision, we understand that and will happily give you breathing room. No rent or utilities, stay as long as you need."

I dumbly just nodded and smiled, tears streaming down my face even as we all piled out of the car into the cold January evening and began to unpack the necessary items. Luckily the cabin had a brand new bed in it already, so mine was going to be placed in storage until it was needed. Bidding soft goodnight to one another along with the warmest of hug, they scurried back to their truck and headed toward the house leaving me all alone in my new digs wondering where to start with my new home.