Previously on The Final Countdown...
Things WERE looking up.
The crew of the yurt avoided death, and not for the first time.
The xenophobic alien queen had all but adopted the robot cat, and they were all on their way for a jolly chat.
Then Ronnie, the last of the great hooligans, fell down a shaft.
Ronnie pried her eyes open.
By all accounts, her death was long overdue. Her life stretched out before her eyes; a series of near misses and narrow scrapes strung together with the running theme of mild to extreme inebriation playing the part of throughline.
Her year as a test subject for the half-life of certain brands of nuclear waste had been particularly memorable. Reprocessed uranium had been her least favourite, at least until they added wildberry flavour.
But this fall had a finality to it.
"I should be fuckin' dead by now," Ronnie muttered. "This is a super deepass hole."
Ronnie took a moment, realized what she'd just said, and desperately wished Fancypants and Venti were there to be disgusted.
"I have to remember that one." Ronnie chuckled to herself as she continued to plummet. "'Deepass hole'...HA...good one..."
The fall, very much to Ronnie's chagrin, went right on continuing.
Ronnie fell asleep.
Half an hour later, she stretched, yawned, and unleashed a load of curse words as she realized the fall hadn't ended.
So Ronnie took the only natural course for someone stuck in an interminable fall.
She started singing.
*Sung to the tune of The Proclaimers' 'I'm Gonna Be...500 Miles'
When I'm fallin', well I know I'm gonna fall
I'm gonna fall down a super deepass hole
When I was young, you know, I sure didn't think
That I'd be dyin' down a super deepass hole
If I get drunk, yeah, I think it's about time
About time I got drunk down this deepass hole
And if I haver, yeah, you know I don't know
What the fuck haverin' is in this deepass hole
And I will fall 500 miles
And I will fall 500 more
Just to be the Ronnie
Who fell a thousand miles
Down a super, crazy deepass hole
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The Final Countdown - Season I
Science FictionFour intrepid explorers...no, not quite...adventurers...no, wrong again... Sorry. The Earth blows up. Only four people knew about it. This is their story. _____________________________________ Huge, big, enormous thanks...
