The Bad Boy's Guide. 2020

chapter 16: He gave me hope.

I always liked looking at the sky. It was so pretty.
The baby blue space with fluffy white clouds which reminded me of cotton candy or the dangerous grey clouds that made you fear going anywhere but either way, it was still very beautiful.

I was sitting on a blanket next to a stream, at the back of the admin block, waiting for Blake. I told him I needed to talk to him about something urgently but all I was doing was surprising him. Isn't it so predictable that the guy always plans the dates? Anyway this was an area where we wouldn't be disrupted because it recently seemed like our dorm was a community center for Caleb and Noah to plan whatever their planning.

There he was! My boyfriend? Did I just manage to get myself a boyfriend in the mist for all my first year work? Well I guess sharing a dorm with a guy does have some perks to it.

"Hey, handsome. You look surprised." I smirked up at him. "Can you blame me? When someone tells you they need to see you urgently you don't really picture this." He gestured to me stretched out on the blanket with fruits, sandwiches and cherry coke. "You think about the girl you just made your girlfriend telling you that she's having second thoughts." He continued as he sat down next to me. I managed to shut up his rambling by placing a short and lingering kiss on his sweet lips. "Don't worry boyfriend you can not get rid of me so easily." He smirked and wrapped an arm around my waist closing the distance between us. "I would never want to." And with that he kissed me. First on my lips then my neck and he paused to nibble. Hickeys seem to be a thing of his. I recalled the time we played our little game. I gently pushed him away but with not much protest. I have to admit that it does bring upon some very pleasurable ecstasy. "Not here," I murmured. "Right," he said coming up to my head and biting my cheek softly. Weird. I know but boy did it feel good. I backed away and he corrected his arched posture. "What's first?" He asked looking at the goodies with as much enthusiasm as a little bubbly baby. I laughed at him and he smiled at me. It was so warm and made me feel weak in a gentle unexplainable way.

"Chicken and mayo sandwiches are one of my favourite sandwiches," I spoke.
"Mine is salami." I nodded because that was also nice. We finished up then packed everything away and just laid there. "Would we had done it?" Guess we were talking about the morning now. "I don't know... Maybe. I wouldn't have regretted it though because I know you would never force me."
"I'm glad you know. Things are different with you. I promise." I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around him. I could stay like this forever. I wish the world could just pause for a while so I could embrace every part of this feeling.

A person is never relieved with the life they are living but has the choice to make a difference. To change the cliche stories of the world and to give it a new definition. We are often too caught up in pointing out everything that is wrong that we forget to look beyond the outside and feel everything that is right.

This moment, correction these moments, with Blake make everything feel so right. For the first time ever it feels like I truly know what I want and all this time waiting and worrying if I was good enough finally paid off because I understood. I understood myself, I understood not everything we work for we end up getting, I understood why life wasn't easy and I understood that not everyone was the same.
Blake is a guy and he is an amazing guy. It might not have been obvious but he saved me. He saved me in a way that I could never repay him for. He gave me hope.

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