Powerlessness ( Loki x Reader )

XXII. (Mega Chapter)

It was worse than dread. A feeling like a lip bitten middle finger from the hand of god. Caught in the moment between bullet and temple, my arm twisted by my sour-breathed executioner. That pitiful grain of a second between fear and death was what felt stretched over an eternity as I walked from that bathroom door into the hallway.

I could barely stand. My eyes welled hot with hopeless tears.

It happened again. But this time so much worse.

"What have I done?" I whispered.

Like before, at the peek of my last break down; the world had paused again. The halls were so quiet you could hear the sun rays peaking through the windows. Soundless enough to induce insanity, I would've felt suffocated if my attention wasn't so caught on the look of the world around us.

Fleshed out is what comes to mind. Like those science fair field trips where they'd show you the layers of the human body in separate glass cases. Except there was no glass; and this was no field trip.

From the vase, to the table, and even the pictures framed on the wall. All spread carefully with explicit detail and exposed for all to gander. I'd say it was almost aesthetic, the way the wooden frames of the corridor portraits split from each other like sliced bread. But at the very end of these warped puzzles of gold, porcelain, and wood; floated a flickering image of itself. O' too similar to the clipping doppelgänger I had met minutes before.

Still in the midst of a hopeless weep, I yanked a chunk of my hair into view. Through the blur of gathered tears I found that my locks remained just as they were before; ill affected by what monstrosity I had just created.

"This doesn't make sense? This doesn't make sense?!" I exclaimed.

"Yes. This is quite odd." Loki observed from in front of me.

"I didn't feel a thing. I don't feel a thing. I feel completely disconnected. No vibrations, no burning sensation, I can't even pin point when it had started. How am I doing this? Why am I doing this?!"

I could feel myself beginning to hyperventilate. "My hair didn't even turn. There was no way I could have known. No signal, no sign, no way to separate myself from this fucking crystal!"

He whipped his head in my direction. "Hey,Whoa- Hey! Hey! Hey!" He rushed over to me, finally aware of my distress.

Carefully approaching my panic, he caressed my face tenderly yet fixedly; being sure my eyes remained on his.

"Look at me. Look at me. Okay? You're alright. You're fine-"

"No I'm not!" I cried. "Look at what I've done! Look at what I am! ~ All I do is put the people I care about in danger and~" I pointed to the hall. "This! I'm a monster!"

"No you're not!" He demanded, fighting to contain a yell. "You're not-" He exhaled. "You're not a monster. Look at this. ~ this isn't your fault. You didn't intend to do this."

Pushing my tears aside with his thumbs, he continued. "We'll fix this, my light. You and I will make this right. Alright?"

Teary-eyed, I nodded with a sniffle.

He held my hand as we walked the halls, observing carefully what spasming perpetual hall of horrors that floated among us.

"I don't mean to repeat myself but~ has this happened before?"

"It has..in a way?"

"Explain."

"That morning in the kitchen. When everything went from normal to chaos?"