Wanted to be loved (Islamic Story)

chapter no 3: Old memories...

Alina's POV:

"Dad. I am just tried. I am tried of fighting Dad. I give up. I can't be strong any more." I winced I was on verge of crying.

"I want to go home. Please I want to see Mom, Hanna and my half-life Ali. Please take me home."  Agony bloomed in my heart. And I couldn't control my tears anymore.

"I am all alone." I pointed to myself. Every colour of drained out and I wouldn't see my life.

"I feel pain in my chest..... I die evryday. This emptiness makes me insane."  Tears rolled down from my cheeks, making my vision vague. I sobbed, expressing my pain.

"I feel hurt. I am losig my hope."  I cried like other was no tomorrow.

"Yo- your hope. I- I am sor- sorry I can't do it any more." I stuttered. My lips trembled, I wanted to speak so much, I wanted to narrat every tiny bids of feeling that I have. They were all terrible.

And slightly shaking my head I said " I can't do it any more. I want to die..... I want to die. I-I..." Unable to speak or breath. I couldn't make a proper sentence. I was crying mess.

. I turn my gaze around to see my family. But they were on where to be found. Every thing was dull and darb. Brightness seek shelter from darkness.

I cried and cried letting out loud moans of unbearable pain. I  fell to my knees. My head downward indicating that I am done,

lost,

hurt.

Then I saw my twin Ali standing far from me spreading his arms indicating me to came and hug him.

I stood up, beside all the pain killed me inside but I got up and run toward him but the distance was to large, to large that it wouldn't be filled. He was standing in light, I was in the darkness. I couldn't go to light no matter how much I try.

When I was close enough that his face was clear, I let out a sigh of relief, I glanced at him, inhaling his features. I miss him. I have shared my sorrows and happiness with him, by not losing him, I have tasted the true flavour of  hurt and  aloneliness.

His sparkling blue eyes, contained same affection and concern for me as always. His smile was bright, it always light up my world.

I wanted to ruffle his caramel coloured hair.  But I  winced when I was unable to touch him. I was sure of one thing if I touched him he would go away. And I didn't want him to go, not again.

"Why? Why did you leave me on my own ? I am struggling with myself. There is a war inside me between a little light of hope panting for life and Darkness which is afraid of everything and want me to die. Just die." I cried and cried it was like I was begging him to understand me.

Then I raised my hand to touch his but as soon as I touched him he disappeared in dusk. "No."

"No... Please no" I begged.

"Please come back! Don't leave me! Don't leave me alone." A howl of agony ripped out. I screamed.

Then I saw my dad "Saber and forgiveness " he said with a smile on his face. He was also standing in light. Then he fade away too.

"No ....." I screamed

I woke up. I again slept on the floor. I was panting "Just a dream. Just a dream...." I exhale and inhale. Taking control over my hitched breath.

The thing I learned from my dad whenever I had panic attacks,
Before his death. Tears dwell in my eyes blurred my vision. But I refused to cry. I hsve cried enough.

"Saber. Kain... saber. "

the call of adan echoed in my room. It was Fajar time. I did my wudu. Performed my prayers. I Joined My Hands together to make my dua. I wanted to say so many things but nothing came out.

"Now can you stop crying,? Or I will beat the hell out of them.... What you want me to do? " he almost shouted at me and my sobs become louder.

He sighed heavily "At least you can tell me what happened. Please. Mana... Please. "A strange silent filled the room and I wanted to say but nothing left my mouth except for sobs.

" Dammit!!! What can I do to stop that tears of yours. You Know I Don't Like When You Cry" He said With care in his eyes and Waited for my answer but I said nothing

" I am going make them regret for every tear of yours" he was about to leave but I held his wrist

" Don't ... Please." I inhaled sharply, befire continuing.  "They Said That I Am ugly and called he towel head. Laughed at me, make me a laughingstock in every period,  mock me with th-their words. " he sighed loudly

" okay... that was it. And here I thought that someone. .... forget about it."

"What do you mean by 'that's it '." I interrupted him.

" yes my Mana... that's it " he cupped my face.

" Do you know when our beloved prophet Muhammad ( peace be upon him) was living in Mekkha every non - Muslim used to Call him names ; bad names. And tortured the muslims living in Mecca. They created great conflict of small things. Muslims wouldn't practice islam freely and openly.  Do you know how they and  hazrat Muhammad ( peace be upon him) faced them."

" no " I said with embarrassment.

" he faced every difficulties with patient and courage." He was going to say further but I cut him

" but Allah( swt) love him ( PBUH ) Then why give difficulties to whom you love" I said in deep confusion.

" No Mana... you are getting it all wrong. The strongest faith one have, the stronger test he will face. " he stated

" I think you forgot something." I said with amusement beaming in my eyes

" what it is?" He asked while noting my every move. I slightly stood up and picked up a pillow. His eyes was first fill with confusion and then he realized what I was going to do

. I threw the pillow into his face and made a run from there

" and greater reward... you dumb headed. " I said while I was running.

" Mana... you. Are. So. Dead. " he shouted and he began to chase me.

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Assalamu alikum. Readers.

So, how was the chap, I know this is a small chap but I am busy now and then, can't find time. But next chap will have more length and argument and quarrels of Alina and Damon

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IT IS MY FIRST STORY. LET ME KNOW YOUR VIEW ABOUT THE chaps

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~V.A