grace under pressure • jerome valeska

CHAP.24: Memories

  That morning I had felt strange. I felt like I was going to throw up. My normally fuzzy mind felt like it was breaking into two. I still didn't talk, complain, or even flinch. I just dealt with it. But other than that, something else had happened that night. I had dreamed for the first time in a year after the doctors forced me to sleep.

  I had dreamed of a field of grass and flowers. I had walked aimlessly around, looking for something but I didn't know what. The world then started to get dark, the lone tree in the middle of the grassy field had started to break down, the leaves turning black and withering away. The air slipped from me and I choked.

  I had fallen to my knees and I thought I was going to die until something stopped it. The laughter. The laughter had started out small and then picked up as if it had been drifting and echoing around the entire field. The world started to come back to it's light and the air came back to my lungs.

  I came from my knees and looked around. I seen by the tree, someone stood there, looking at me. I couldn't see their face from how far away they stood from me. Every time I took closer to him, he backed away into the tree. Finally, when I came to the tree he was gone. I had then woken up.

  I had thought about that all day now. Who was that person? He seemed very...familiar. My head hurt whenever I thought about it but I couldn't seem to stop. I still did not utter a word about this.

  I was in my room, awaiting someone to bring me to breakfast when my headache hit me hard. I jerked my head, clenching my jaw and shutting my eyes I then groaned in pain. I then open my eyes fast. I had just groaned. It was the first sound I had made in a year. I also felt pain. And I had moved on my own.

  I breathed in and out quickly. I had just felt. I felt something. My mind starts to become haywire and I feel myself start to freak out. My pain in my head just increased. I was feeling. I then hear footsteps outside my door. I straighten my posture quickly and stare at the wall in front of me. 

  The door opens to show the guard from yesterday. He sighs. 

  "Here we go again." He says but I barley hear him. I was thinking my little moment of pain. I was also thinking again. I was thinking a little bit more normally. The guard takes me by my arm and I have the sudden impulse to yell at him to be more careful. I blink instead and check myself before I do something rash. We walk down the hallway. I started to notice things around me.

  I saw the tiny cracks in the walls. I saw the people around me. I actually smelled the foul stink of this place for the first time really. I had to refrain from curling up my nose. I started to remember walking down this hall and kicking and laughing with someone holding me from behind. When did that happen to me?

  I was brought into the cafeteria and put into the line. The guard picked up a tray from me and the lunch lady slopped on some green stuff. I flinch at it in disgust. Only slightly, not wanting to attract attention to me. The guard led me to an empty table and set the tray down in front of me then left. I look at my food. 

  As I sit there, someone suddenly came and sat in front of me. It was a girl with long messy hair and big brown eyes. She smiled at me. 

  "Ya gonna eat that?" She says then takes my tray without waiting for a response and dug into it, eating it sloppily. I stayed where I was, not moving. She was eating rather disgustingly and I twitched my finger. She made a sound of approval and nodded. 

  "That is really good." She says with food still in her mouth. I feel my eye flicker. She pointed to it. "You want some?" I remain still. 

  She then took a spoonful, held it up and pulls back the front part the let go so it splattered onto my face. She laughed and smacked the table, snorting and shoving a spoonful of food into her mouth. 

  I blinked then slowly rose a hand to my cheek and ran my finger down it, feeling the mushy green stuff that landed on my face. I then bring it in front of me and examine it. She was looking at her food but when she looks at me her eyes widen and she drops her spoon, her mouth slack jawed. I tilt my head to my finger. 

  "Interesting..." I mutter before looking up at her. I see that people from other tables were looking at me with the same expressions she had. I continue to stare at her before I slowly rise from my seat and walk to the side of the table she sat at. I look at her, my face a mask. She raises her hands up.

  "Hey look, I was just messing around." She says. I smile a bit.

  "Oh I know." I say.

  I then suddenly reach forward and grab a chunk of hair from the back of her head and force her forehead to smash against the edge of the table. I continue to do this over and over again until I was pulled back by guards. 

  I was forced onto the floor and someone hit me over my cheek. I simply smiled in return, not making a sound. I look up at guard. His eyes were wide while looking at me. 

  "She moved!" One guard yelled. 

  "She didn't only move, she knocked this girl out!" Another yelled back. I then slowly feel a grin make it's way up my face and the guard backs away from me. I was back.

                                 |TIME SKIP|

  After the ordeal in the cafeteria I was sent to solitary confinement and put into a straight jacket. It was sort of comforting to be put back here. Memories started to flood back to me at a fast rate. I had been here before. I had been locked up after killing my parents and brother. 

  I had been here for a week before meeting a someone..the red haired guy the guard had talked about. I finally realized what the name meant. It was him. The red head. It was Jerome. Jerome. The love of my life. I had been broken out of the Asylum with him and a couple of others. 

  We had wreaked havoc together. We had kissed. We had killed. We had finished our missions in our lives. He had killed his father and I had killed my brother. We had caused chaos in each other's arms. Then we performed at the gala. And that is when it all turned to shit. I remember Theo. I remember him stabbing Jerome. I remember cradling him in my arms before being ripped away.

  I had been here for the year, my memory slowly slipping away before I finally couldn't think of anything anymore except for the things around me. I cried after remembering Jerome. I cried for hours on end. I was feeling again. I was feeling sad. Happy. Fearful. And crazy. It was a bit nice. To feel again. 

  I thought of my scar. It was a bit bumpy and jagged. I couldn't believe I tried to kill myself. I guess I had just had enough. Everyone had their breaking point. I had mine then grew from it. I was now here, finally able to think and feel once more. But this wasn't even the half of it.

  One way or another I was getting out of here.