The Blue Divide

Chapter 21

The fish ignored his call.

Eko stood on the Spray, his eyes closed while he visualized his prey. He called to them with music no fish in the past could resist, but this time none of them followed. A fist gripped his heart. Was his power gone?

When he and Alec returned to the harbor, a crowd of dejected looking fishermen were standing around the docks. They looked up when they saw Alec.

"Catch anything today?" one of them asked.

"Not a thing," said Alec. "I've had plenty of bad days, but I've never gone home completely empty handed, until now."

"It's the same for all of us. Worst fishing day in Porthaven's history."

So it wasn't just him. Something had chased the fish away. Or someone.

After dinner, Eko went out to the shore. He projected his mindmusic towards Nerine, hoping she would hear it. Night came and she still hadn't come. He went back inside for Alec's violin and brought it back to the spot they had met before. With his feet in the water, he played her song, walking along the rocky coast, his eyes looking towards the rock where he had kissed Lainey.

He and Lainey hadn't talked much since it happened. Every time he tried to catch her eye she looked away, and her face darkened. Did she feel ashamed? Uncomfortable? He wished he knew. Her thoughts were guarded and could not be formed into words, but then again, did he even know his own feelings?

He was bound to Nerine. Nerine, who was risking everything to help him; Nerine, who loved him in spite of all that had happened. The royal girl who had befriended him when no one else would. He owed so much to her, but he had never felt drawn to her the way he had felt drawn to Lainey that night on the rock. He had never felt anything like that before. If Nerine never found a way to change him back, could he be happy living in the Upperworld with Lainey? He was starting to think so.

An icy hand grabbed his ankle and he stumbled back. Nerine's violet eyes glowed like human fire in the darkness. He could feel her anger, but he was angry too.

"Why did you do it, Nerine?"

Her gaze stabbed him. "What are you talking about?"

"Why did you try and kill her?" His thoughts were much more forceful than he intended.

Nerine's gaze did not waver. "We made a vow Ekrios. We swore fealty in the presence of a god, and yet you betray me to some human weakling!"

He knelt in the waves, letting the coldness flow over his shoulders, and hung his head. "It was wrong to kiss her. I'm sorry."

"Your thoughts speak otherwise."

"I...I've been here so long now. I'm starting to lose hope that I will ever return to Atlys. It was a moment of stupidity, that's all. But she is innocent. Why punish her for my own weakness?"

"It was meant as a punishment for you."

"I know you're the reason none of the fish will come when I call."

"I think it's only right for you to know what it feels like to be powerless. Humans don't have the power that merrow have. Their lives are based on hope and chance. If you want to be one so much, you best start acting like one."

"What makes you think I want to be one? I didn't choose this!"

"You're in love with one, and the only way you can have her is if you stay as you are."

"I never said I was in love with her."

"And if I told you I have found a way to change you back?"

"Neither of your other ways worked."

"I went to my father. He agreed to let me consult the Heart. I prayed in the vault all night, and it finally showed me a vision of what must be done. I am sure this time. The Heart never lies."

The Heart. "What is it?"

"You just have to come with me. You have to trust me." She reached out and stroked his hair and then slid her hand down his arm until her fingers were wrapped around his own. So cold. So hard. She pulled.

He took a few steps forward then froze. A strange sick feeling crept into his stomach at the thought of returning. He didn't know where it came from. This whole time he longed for nothing more than to go back. Why now was he suddenly unsure?

She drew back, her eyes narrowing. "Do you love her so much that—"

"No." He cut her off. He needed more time. "I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"The transformation. Turning human almost killed me. I can't imagine turning back would be any easier."

She came close again. "You'll be going back to your true form. I doubt that would be as terrible as becoming something...unnatural. And I'll be with you this time. That should count for something."

He reached out and brushed a strand of wet hair away from her eyes. She was so beautiful. Like a night sky full of stars. Then there was Lainey. Warm sunshine on golden sand. Both had saved him in different ways. Both deserved more from him. "I can't help being a coward."

"You don't belong here, Ekrios. Surely the risk of death is better than being trapped forever. You can't tell me you're starting to like it here?"

"How can I make you understand? It's so different. Here you have the chance to become anything you want to be. There's no system that binds you to a life you may not want to live."

"Are you saying that you don't want to marry me? You don't want to be husband to the future Nyxi?"

"It's not that," he said. "Before the binding ceremony I was nothing but a fish herder. I hated my life and had no hope of escaping it. You don't know what it's like not to have a chance to progress."

"But I gave you that chance," she said. "With me, you can be greater than any human. Our power will be limitless."

"What good is that power if it is only for our own pleasure? There are so many out there suffering, while every whim or fancy we could have will be instantly gratified."

"We use it to protect our people. And no one is suffering. Our city is perfect because of the caste system. It ensures that no one will starve."

"There are other forms of starvation, Nerine. Wanting something you can never have for example. Knowing that no matter how hard you work nothing will ever change. You'll always be trapped. Something you can't possibly imagine."

She swam back from him. Her face looking stunned and hurt.

"You think my life is bliss? Why do you think I was swimming toward the forbidden plains the day we met? Why do you think I kept coming back to see you? I envied you Ekrios! I wanted the simple life you led. You were so free. I hated the pressures my father was putting on me every day. He always told me that the people hated us, that if I wasn't careful and didn't follow all the rules, the people would rebel against us. If he even suspected I was coming to see you now, I can't imagine what he'd do."

He walked closer to her, the water up to his chin. "Nerine, I'm so sorry."

"No you're not," she said. "I know your thoughts remember?" She vanished under the black water.

Eko called her name repeatedly. Why had he said those things? He ached for her to come back and say that she forgave him, but she was gone, and so were his chances of returning to Atlys.