chapter twenty-four

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"She lost her way all the way to him and in him, she found all the way back to her

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"She lost her way all the way to him and in him, she found all the way back to her."

- Atticus

✥ ✥ ✥

I FEEL NOTHING

Not that the kiss is bad, poor guy. It just doesn't take my mind away from the bad boy, it actually does the quite opposite, it reminds me how no one is him. 

Fuck you again, Damien.

I let the stranger guide me in the rhythm he wants, his tongue swirling with mine while his arm pulls my waist even closer to him but all I can focus on is the loud music around us, the only thing keeping me from losing my mind. 

When we finally part away, the stranger has a smile all over his lips, all of his friends at the ping pong table cheering for him but all I care now is to know if it worked. If Damien felt the same thing I did when he kissed my best friend. 

I lose no time in turning around, my gaze directed immediately to the kitchen but when I notice he's not there anymore, never was for the matter, I feel my heart sink. Even if the bad boy saw me kissing someone else, he doesn't seem to care. 

It's stupid, to let myself get affected by someone this much when I've finally realized that all I truly need is me. This is not what I planned, I'm addicted to the way he makes me feel. 

Breathe. 

Breathe. 

I fight the tears that threaten to fall once again, not letting them show to everyone how weak I am for urging for something I can't have. My hands are trembling by my sides and I try to think about what to do next but it's useless when the strident music doesn't let me. 

"Hey, Lina. Or should I call you backstabber?" A high-pitched voice comes from behind me and when I turn to the person I know better than myself, her words finally sinking in, I'm almost caught in disbelief. The last thing I needed. 

"What the hell are you talking about, Ella?" 

My best friend has her arms crossed and her forest dark green eyes are narrowed in my direction. The outfit she wears is everything but subtle and consists of a matching bright pink set, skirt, and a crop top with a low neckline. It definitely grabs all the attention, something the girl in front of me is used to. 

"Don't play dumb with me. Did you really have to go for the bad boy? Out of all the boys from our school, did you really have to start making out with Damien?" Her voice tone is pure acid and she takes another towards me with her tall high-heels, stopping inches away. Now I can see the trails of black mascara surrounding her eyes and the thought of her crying because of something I did feel like a stab in the chest. 

How does she know?

My heart is pounding just as loud as the music, knowing I'm the reason for all of this to be happening. I knew from the very first moment I talked to Damien there was no going back. 

"Are you fucking serious? I have no idea what you are saying!" I lie straight to her face, the bitterness of it taking place in my mouth, a flavor I thought I would never have to taste again. I can't come clean, not when I can't tell her the real reason I got close to him in the first place. 

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