Teach me how to feel alive [Connor • DBH]

five

" I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet "

✩

My head whipped around to face Connor, my eyes wide, I knew my face held the look of shock that he would just turn him in like that. Connor didn't seem to care. All he cared about was accomplishing his mission.

I made my way out to my car, sitting in the warmth for god knows how long, Connor and Hank had already left by the time I had decided to head back to the station.

That Android was scared to death, couldn't he see that?

I tried to keep my anger bottled inside as I stood in the corner of the observation room, watching Hank interrogate the poor Android, my eyes kept flickering over to Connor. I couldn't help it. I didn't know why I felt so angry towards him, I just did.

Hank was getting nothing out of the Android, so he left the room and joined us in the observation room.

"Could always try roughing it up a little, after all, it's not human," Gavin suggested, making us all turn our heads towards him, and I gave a loud scoff.

"You really think that will help?" I spoke up, not caring if the sensitive son of a bitch Gavin couldn't take my comments. "You would only damage him, dickwad."

"It. Not him. Don't think of these things as human, Tess," Gavin fired back, making my hands clench into fists. "What's the harm? It could work."

"Tessa is right," Connor spoke up from the corner, his voice calm as he looked towards Gavin. "Androids don't feel pain. You would only damage it and that wouldn't make it talk. Deviants also have a tendency to self-destruct when they're in stressful situations."

"Okay, smartass," Gavin interrupted. "What should we do, then?"

Connor thought for a moment. "I could try questioning it," he suggested, but it quickly received a loud and amused — but mostly obnoxious — laugh from Gavin.

"It could work," I said, a bitter glare directed towards Gavin, and I saw Hank shrug out of the corner of my eye.

"What do we have to lose? Go ahead. Suspect's all yours."

Connor quickly moved out of the room and joined the other Android in the interrogation room, wandering around him for a while, he inspected the file before eventually sitting down at the table. His tactics for interrogation didn't seem to be working for a while, none of us were sure what he was trying to do, maybe scare the android, but then he would go back on himself and tell the android Connor would protect him.

That's when the android started to talk.

"He tortured me every day," he started, his voice low and void of emotion. It was almost as if the android felt numb speaking of his owner, like the emotional trauma didn't bother him anymore. Connor didn't seem even the slightest bit surprised that his tactic had worked. "I did whatever he told me, but... there was always something wrong. Then one day... he took a bat and started hitting me. For the first time, I felt... scared. Scared he might destroy me, scared I might die."

We all shared glances in the observation room, smiling towards each other, though Gavin was clearly ignoring the whole situation as to not admit he was wrong about Connor's abilities.

"So, I... grabbed the knife and I stabbed him in the stomach. I felt better. So, I stabbed him again... and again... until he collapsed. There was blood everywhere."

Connor continued his questioning. "Why did you write 'I AM ALIVE' on the wall?"

"He used to tell me I was nothing. That I was just a piece of plastic. I had to write it. To tell him he was wrong."

I started to realise I felt more sympathy for this Android than I did the victim, the victim was a piece of shit and deserved what he got, and I couldn't help but stand there and imagine myself in his shoes. I stood there and remembered what it was like for me to feel afraid for the first time...

"No! Stop! You're hurting me!"

I blinked, trying to get the images out of my head, but nothing seemed to work. Nothing stopped me from remembering.

"You little worthless bitch! I'll teach you to play nicely!"

"I said stop it!!"

A scream. It was always the same. Rough, low, and full of pain. Following a gun shot, it rang in my ears like a bell, and I suddenly found myself back in the observation room; a tear rolling down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away before anyone noticed.

"I'm done," Connor announced, his eyes on the window that separated us and the suspect, before standing up from his chair and going to leave the room when the rest of us entered.  Chris moved to lock the android up, Connor waiting by the door, Chris tried to grab the android but he snatched his hands away out of fear.

"Leave me alone! Don't touch me!"

I was the first one to notice his LED was now blinking red, his breathing quickened, Chris tried to get him to cooperate but he just kept refusing.

"You shouldn't touch it," Connor announced calmly. "It'll self-destruct if it feels threatened."

"Stay outta this, got it? No fucking Android is gonna tell me what to do," Gavin snapped, rolling his eyes.

"Gavin, for fucks sake, just listen to Connor," I interjected, making Gavin send a glare my way.

"You stay outta this, too, unless you want your pretty little face blown in."

"Don't talk to her like that!" Hank defended, Gavin just snarled and turned back to the squirming android. They didn't care if they were hurting the android. They didn't care even a little bit.

"You don't understand, if it self-destructs, we won't get anything out of it!" Connor said, trying to get Gavin to listen, but that clearly wasn't about to happen.

"I told you to shut your fucking mouth! Chris, you gonna move this asshole or what?"

"I'm trying!"

Connor immediately sprung into action. "I can't let you do that! Leave it alone now!" He shouted, pushing Chris away from the terrified android, Connor positioned himself in front of the android to protect him and Gavin immediately had his gun trained on the middle of Connor's forehead. Connor didn't even flinch.

"I warned you, motherfucker!"

"Gavin, stop it! This is stupid!" I exclaimed, not thinking about my next actions, I jumped in front of Connor so Gavin's gun was pointed at me. "Why is your answer to everything to put a bullet into it?" I snapped.

"Get outta the way, Tess."

"Not gonna happen," I hissed, seeing his eyes flickering between me and Connor, I kept a stone-cold expression on my face as he clearly contemplated pulling the trigger. I didn't care if I was putting myself in danger. Gavin was being an asshole and somebody had to put him in his place.

"That's enough!" Hank stepped in.

"Mind your own business, Hank," Gavin muttered, his gun still pointed at my head.

"I said: that's enough," Hank repeated, pulling out his own gun and pointing it directly at Gavin's head. With no other choice, he reluctantly lowered his gun.