Teach me how to feel alive [Connor • DBH]

twenty one

" would you lie with me and just forget the world? "

✩

The gun was aimed at my head, I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks at this point.

"Destroy this machine and I'll tell you all I know," Kamski ordered, Connor stared at me for a moment. I didn't want to die. I was scared to, in fact, but I knew I deserved it after lying to him for so long. "Or spare it... if you feel it's alive. But you'll leave here without having learned anything from me."

"Okay, I think we're done here," Hank spoke up. "Come on, Connor, Tess, let's go. Sorry to get you outta your pool —"

"What's more important to you, Connor?" Kamski said, watching Connor as he stared down at me. It was clear there was a war going on in his mind, he was definitely contemplating pulling the trigger, and I didn't blame him. Kamski had put him on the spot and Connor had a mission to complete. "Your investigation or the life of this Android? Decide who you are." Kamski paused as Connor's LED flashed yellow. "An obedient machine... or a living being. Endowed with free will."

"Go ahead, Connor," I said slowly, my voice shaking out of fear, but I tried not to let it show as I smiled up at him. Though, my streaming tears didn't help me much. "I deserve it after lying to you, I won't blame you if you decide to kill me. I understand."

Connor seemed surprised at my words, his eyes widening and his lips parting, but he still didn't pull the trigger. He just kept the gun trained on my forehead.

"That's enough!" Hank exclaimed. "Connor, we're leaving."

"Pull the trigger," Kamski whispered, a hand resting on Connor's shoulder.

"Connor! Don't," Hank ordered.

"And I'll tell you what you wanna know."

Something seemed to snap inside of Connor. His eyes closed, his arm drew back, and his LED flashed red. He handed the gun back to Kamski. I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I stood, wiping my tears from my face, I sent Connor a thankful expression while Kamski stared at him with an intrigued expression plastered across his features.

"Fascinating," Kamski sighed, taking the gun away from Connor. "Cyberlife's last chance to save humanity... is itself a deviant?"

"I'm..." Connor stumbled over his words, his eyes glued to me, he eventually managed to tear his eyes away and look to Kamski with determination spreading across his face. "I'm not a deviant."

"You preferred to spare a machine rather than accomplish your mission," Kamski said. "You saw a living being in this android. You showed empathy."

I moved over to Hank, his arm wrapping around me protectively, he held me close to him while Kamski spoke to Connor.

"A war is coming," he said lowly. "You'll have to chose your side. Will you betray your own people or stand up against your creators?" He asked, making Connor watch him carefully. Connor still didn't seem okay, his eyes continued to flicker, and he definitely wanted to say something but the words wouldn't come out. "What could be worse than having to chose between two evils?"

"Come on," Hank said. "Let's get outta here."

I was the first out the door, standing in the snow and waiting for the others, I pulled my arms close to my torso as I looked out at the snowfall. Hank and Connor passed by me, my head turned to look at them, and I watched as Hank narrowed his eyes towards Connor.

"Why didn't you shoot?"

Connor turned on his heel, his eyes meeting mine for a split second. "I just looked into Tessa's eyes... and I couldn't," he answered, seeming frustrated with himself, and Hank smirked towards him. "That's all."

"You're always saying you would do anything to accomplish your mission," Hank said lowly, watching Connor carefully. "That was our chance to learn something and you let it go."

"Yeah, I know what I should've done," Connor snapped. "I told you I couldn't," he paused, hesitating for a second. "Tess is a friend, it doesn't matter to me if she's deviant or not. I won't apologise for allowing her to live."

I had to smile. Connor was determined to do the best he could in his mission, but it was good to know he wouldn't give up my life just to accomplish his mission. Hank have pause, his eyes staring Connor down, before a smile broke out on his own face.

"Well, maybe you did the right thing."

With that, Hank moved back to the car with Connor watching him go. I turned towards him as he moved his eyes back to me, he seemed hesitant, but he allowed a smile to appear on his face. I didn't know how to thank him. So, instead of saying anything, I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head into his chest. Connor didn't know how to react at first, he seemed surprised at the sudden embrace, but then he moved his arms around my waist and held me tightly. I guess he thought I would be distant to him after what just happened.

I felt safe in his arms.

Even though he had a gun aimed at me moments before, I felt safe. Like nobody could hurt me, like we were alone with the world with nobody else to ruin it for us.

I smiled absentmindedly, listening to the rhythmic beating in his chest for a moment, before pulling away and walking over to Hank's car. Climbing in the front, Hank sent me a teasing expression — which made me roll my eyes — and Connor climbed in the back.

I turned to face him, my eyes looking between him and Hank. "Listen," I began. "I know I should've told you earlier, but I was scared for what you'd do. You have to understand," I said to them, trying to explain myself, and they both smiled towards me.

"We do understand, Tess," Hank said to me.

I smiled gently. "Thanks." I looked down at my lap and gave a shallow sigh. "Do you think we can keep this between us?"

They both nodded. Connor placed a hand on my shoulder. "You can trust us. Your secret's safe with us."

I smiled, sitting back in my seat while Hank pulled away from the house, we then headed back to the station where — unfortunately— no good news was waiting for us...