Teach me how to feel alive [Connor • DBH]

twelve

" don't break me again. i am delicate. please don't break my heart, trust me, i've been broken before "

✩

Connor knew I was lying to him. He just didn't bother to ask me about it. I was glad. I knew I couldn't lie to him again if I tried, there was just something about him that made me feel a huge wave of guilt when I lied to him.

I was glad to finally get home. To get a shower.

I hopped in the shower, letting the water work its way down my back before washing my hair. The last couple of days had been so hectic. With the homicides involving androids and then Markus, I just hadn't had the time to take a step back. To relax. Now that I have it, I couldn't stop worrying about Carl. I wanted to know how he was. I knew he was in bad condition, but even seeing his face would let me know he was okay.

That's all I needed.

I heard he got out of the hospital sometime today and that he was resting in his house, so, after getting a shower, I changed my clothes and got ready to go and see him. Changing into an oversized yellow hoodie and a pair of thick leggings, I pulled on my combat boots and headed out to his home.

Parking my car outside, I made my way up to the door and went to knock when the door swung open.

"Welcome, Tessa."

I smiled at the kind voice that greeted me, half expecting Markus to look over the railing, to see his smiling face greet me as I stepped into the door, but my chest hurt at the harsh reality of silence greeting me as I moved up the stairs to go into Carl's room. Everything was so different now. I didn't like it.

Before I could reach Carl's room, an android I had never seen before stepped out and greeted me coldly.

"Who are you? How did you get in?"

"I'm Tess," I replied, stepping towards the Android. "I'm a friend of Carl's. I really need to see him."

The Android shook his head. "Carl isn't seeing anyone right now —"

"Please," I interrupted, placing my hand on the android's arm, he took a second to look down at my hand as I quickly removed it. "I need to see him."

The Android seemed to change in that moment, his eyes flickered, and then he took a step back so I could enter the room. "He's very weak at the moment, he's been sleeping most of the day," the android explained, I nodded, and I thanked him before moving into the room.

Carl's bed was now a hospital bed, his arms were hooked up to beeping machines and there was a breathing tube attached to his nose. I took a seat on the edge of his bed and placed my hand in his, his eyes fluttered open, and I greeted him with a weak smile.

"Hey, Carl," I said, seeing his eyes light up as he saw me was enough to make me feel much better. "I was so worried about you," I added.

Carl smiled. "I know," he said, tightening his grip on my hand. His expression softened. "Markus is gone," he said shortly, his voice becoming filled with sorrow, and I frowned as I moved a hand to his cheek to wipe away the tear that had fell.

"I know. I miss him, too," I said, offering a gentle smile as his sad eyes met mine. I thought for a moment. "It doesn't sound like Markus to be so aggressive," I mumbled, raising my eyebrows. I still didn't believe it. "What happened?"

Carl shook his head. "I don't know," he replied. "It's like something snapped inside of him, he just... snapped. He seemed so afraid. He tried to explain, but he just could find the right words," Carl pauses, looking to me with pity in his eyes. "He didn't mean to hurt Leo, I know that, but as soon as the police arrived they just shot him in the head. Didn't even wait for an explanation."

My breath caught in my throat, the image of Markus laying on the floor of Carl's studio flashing in my mind, a bullet hole in his head, his blood staining the floor, and I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, but Carl saw it. He missed nothing.

"Are you alright?" He asked me. I nodded my head.

"Yeah, it's just..." I trailed off, unable to find the right words, I gave a shaky sigh. "I don't know. I just wish things were back to the way they were before, you know?"

Carl nodded. "I know. Me too."

"It's all so complicated now." I sighed again, chewing down on my bottom lip when my phone rang. It was a number I didn't recognise. Rolling my eyes, I picked up. "Hello?"

"Detective. It's me, Connor."

"Oh," I said, surprised that he even found my number. Then again, this guy was capable of finding anything. "Hey Connor, what's up?"

"I got a report of a murder in the Eden Club," he said. "I'm going to Hank's house now to see if he's alright as he's not answering his phone. I presume you'll meet me there?"

I huffed, nodding my head even though he couldn't see me. "Alright, I'll be there soon." Hanging up, I stuffed my phone back into my pocket and turned back to Carl. "I have to go, but I'll be back when I can."

"Ah, duty calls," Carl said with a smirk. "I understand."

"I'll see you later," I said, pulling myself up, I gave him one last goodbye before heading out the door. Climbing into my car, I headed over to Hank's house...