Teach me how to feel alive [Connor • DBH]

sixteen

" look into his angel eyes, one look and you're hypnotised, he'll take your heart and you must pay the price "

✩

"Shit. We're too late."

"Never say never, Hank," I mumbled, stepping further into the room, my eyes scanned the large numbers of androids just tossed aside like garbage. They didn't even seem like they cared.

'I used to be just like you,' I thought, my eyes flickering across the group of androids I found myself in front of. 'A machine designed to pleasure humans. Then I woke up, but what makes me so special?'

Connor passed by me, his hand brushing across my back as he passed, I turned my head to watch him as he approached the other group of androids in the corner. His eyes registered something, narrowing at the darkness, and then suddenly something attacked him; latching herself onto his back was another android — not the blue-haired Traci we were after.

I rushed to help him, so did Hank, aiming our guns at her, we yelled at her to stop but then I suddenly felt myself being pushed to the ground. It was the Traci we were after. She started attacking Hank. I couldn't help both of them, so I panicked.

I couldn't just stay still, either.

I decided to help Hank. He was the least coordinated out of all of us, so helping him was my best bet. Kicking the Traci to the ground, she quickly turned and threw herself at me. It all became a blur of trying not to get killed by her and also trying to help Hank, I wasn't exactly sure what was going on, but eventually she pulled herself off of me; she stopped trying to kill me to help the other android.

I was completely confused as to why she would, but everything clicked when I saw the two of them holding each other's hand like their lives depended on it. From that moment on, I stopped fighting them.

Connor didn't stop, though. He was determined to accomplish his mission. He pulled them off of the fence, fought them both off by himself, but then as soon as he got the opportunity to shoot at them he hesitated.

"Connor!" I called, making his movements falter, I rushed up behind him just as he was knocked to the ground by one of the androids. Pulling him to his feet, he watched the androids with wide eyes as the blue-haired Traci approached us. My hand stayed glued to his arm, just in case he snapped and tried to shoot them again.

"When that man broke the other Traci..." the girl spoke slowly, her eyes flickering between us. "I knew I was next. I was so scared," she added, her eyes looking towards me. There was a sort of recognition behind her expression, as if she knew what she had been through was similar to my experience, as if she knew who I was. "I begged him to stop, but he wouldn't. And so I put my hands around his throat, and I squeezed... until he stopped moving." Her eyes moved over to Connor. "I didn't mean to kill him. I just wanted to stay alive. Get back to the one I love."

My eyes shifted down to see their hands latching together, holding tightly onto one another, they shared a glance before the Traci started speaking again.

"I wanted her to hold me in her arms again... make me forget about the humans," she said, her voice suddenly running cold, as if the mere mentioning of the humans made her feel sick. "Their smell of sweat... and their dirty words."

I looked up at Connor, he really seemed confused by this, as if what the Traci was saying made sense to him — yet he couldn't figure out why it made sense.

"Come on. Let's go."

With one last glance towards us, the two ran towards the fence and climbed over, Connor turned his eyes over to Hank who watched him closely for a moment. Hank nodded. "It's probably better this way," he said, making Connor look to him in confusion, and I smiled gently. Hank left, but Connor stayed rooted in his spot.

I looked up at him, moving myself so I was standing in front of him, I placed a hand onto his cheek. His eyes flickered down to meet mine. "You did the right thing, Connor," I said to him. "That's all that matters."

He seemed to be at a loss for words, he didn't reply, but his expression said it all. He was glad I thought he did the right thing. A curve appeared on his lips and his hand moved into mine, though I don't think he realised it, as when he looked down to see our hands together he quickly moved away; as if that wasn't supposed to happen.

"Come on, let's get out of here," I said, moving back into the building. Connor hesitated, but followed close behind me.

✩

I arrived back home, smiling to myself as I slipped my boots off and walked into the kitchen. Aubrey greeted me with a soft meow as I refilled her bowl, scratching her head gently, I moved to grab myself a beer out of the fridge.

I definitely deserved it after the job I've had with these deviants. Though, Hank and I didn't even do much to help — it was mostly Connor.

Nevertheless, I grabbed a beer, sat myself down on the couch and played some music. It was old music, a lot of the stuff I liked was from 2019 or before, so not many people knew it but I liked it so I kept listening to it. Singing along to my favourites, I was almost finished my beer when I heard a hurried knock at my door.

Sighing gently, I placed my beer on the coffee table and paused the music. Heading over to my door, I pulled it open to see Connor standing in front of me; covered in snow and looking at me as if he didn't know why he was there.